Be With Me
by Otaku-chama
Summary: Tsuna's sister is working for the Varia, and they are NOT pleased. Will they manage to kick her out, or will she give them grief? Along the way, she might just worm into their assassin-cold hearts... XanxusOC fic, rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Sawada Natsuki (That's Me, By The Way)

I've been waiting forever to make it to Japan! Finally! It's been, like, YEARS since I've seen my adorable little brother and my sweet, caring mother. I'm sure they missed me too. I mean, Tsuna and I are like the closest siblings can be, even though I've been studying overseas for almost four years.

Our dad's been gone too, but honestly, who cares about him? Unlike Sawada Iemitsu, our no-good-oil-man father, I actually wrote home like, three times a month. For FOUR YEARS.

So, anyway, the plane has finally landed and I can practically smell the salty sea in the breeze! Okay, so the airport is nowhere near the sea, and it smells more like exhaust from the plane and stale air, but whatever.

I go through all the plane crap (passport, baggage, whatever) and finally, FINALLY, I see my adorable, clumsy, no-good brother waiting for me at the pick-up place.

"TSUUUUUUNAAAAA!" I shrieked like a little girl, wrapping my arms around him. He was so skinny and short and clumsy and cuuuuuuuuuuute!

"Ooof, uh, hi, onee-chan." Tsuna said, slightly embarrassed. "You've grown taller."

"And you haven't grown at all."

"Oh, gee, thanks."

A bunch of guys were totally checking me out, but I ignored them. I'm not going to deny I look pretty cute with my tiny nose and mouth, long brown hair, and big brown eyes. Not that I care, or anything. I'm not the kind of girl that stares at herself in the mirror every ten seconds.

"You've gotten prettier, onee-chan." Tsuna noted.

"Obviously, my darling, beloved little bro. 'Cause I'm faaaaaabulous!" I sang the last word out. Musicals rock. I should break out into a song right now, in the middle of the airport, like a flash mob or something.

"Don't be so loud, it's embarrassing!" Tsuna begged. Scaredy-cat. Suddenly, his arm was twisted behind his back. "Owowowowowow!" He hollered in pain, almost going down to his knees.

"Don't treat women disrespectfully, Tsuna." Came this adorable super-squeaky baby voice. Behind him popped out the cutest little guy ever, with a chameleon resting on the brim of his fedora (I want one of those) and some spectacular sideburns.

"Hey there, what's your name?" I asked in those super-sweet cutesy voices you use when talking to babies or toddlers.

Suddenly, the chameleon jumps into his hand and morphs into a gun, which is pointing into my face. "Please don't use that voice with me."

"Whoops, my bad." I say in my normal voice. "Eeeh?" Tsuna stammered. "I thought you said not to treat women disrespectfully!"

"Tsuna, who is this?" This really cute guy (not that I'm into him, because he only looks like 14 and that's totally creepy, considering I'm like 22 years old) steps up, tapping a baseball bat on his shoulder.

"Eh, this is my sister, Natsuki." Tsuna says, gesturing to me. "I thought you guys might like to see her, that's why I asked you to come."

"Awww, Tsuna, is he your frieeeeeend?" How adorable. I remember back when I was still living with mom and Tsuna, and he was such a little loser (I'm saying this affectionately, so shut up) so he didn't have friends. And his friend was cute!

"Nice to meet you, I'm Yamamoto Takeshi." Yamamoto extended his hand, and I shook it. Gentlemanly! "I didn't even know Tsuna had a sister."

"You never mentioned it?" I smirked at him, and he flushed. "It never came up….."

"Tenth!" Some guy with silver hair and some badass rings on his fingers ran up. He saw me and protectively placed himself in front of Tsuna, sticks of dynamite appearing from out of nowhere. "Who are you?" He demanded.

"G-Gokudera-kun! This is my sister, Natsuki!" Tsuna explained quickly, giving me a _Sorry he does this a lot_ look. Fine with me. It's kind of cute how protective the Gokudera guy was. Also, rebellious guys are so awesome these days.

"S-sister?" He looked shocked, then quickly bowed so low I thought he might snap in half. "P-please forgive my rudeness, onee-san!"

"It's okay, Gokudera-kun. No harm done," I said in my ultra-cool, dark voice of mysteriousness.

Two adorable girls came up, followed by this really loud guy who had white hair. The girls introduced themselves as Miura Haru (slightly air headed, but she's totally in love with my Tsuna, so whatever) and Sasagawa Kyoko (Tsuna's totally into her, I can tell). The crazy extreme guy was her brother Sasagawa Ryohei.

Anyway, after greeting me and all that, they had to leave for several reasons. Gokudera looked like he wanted to stay, but then this gorgeous Italian girl called Bianchi showed up and he turned all green and frozen and had to crawl away in panic. Turns out she's his sister.

"Love your tats," I said, admiring her tattoo of a scorpion.

"Thank you." She said in perfect Japanese. "Love your earrings." My skull earrings were pretty awesome.

"Girl, we've got to go shopping or something."

Later, as we were heading home, I learned that the baby guy was called Reborn and he was a toddler assassin that became Tsuna's home tutor to make him into the next Vongola Family's leader.

"Oh, cool. Good job, Tsuna, way to get initiative."

"You're not freaked out at ALL? It took me weeks to get my head around it, and I still don't want to be a part of this!" Tsuna yelped.

"I've been studying in Italy for four years, Tsuna." I waved my hand dismissively. "I know all about mafia and those stuff. Strange, though, since when are you related to the Vongola Primo-whatever?"

"We can explain that later." Reborn said, sitting on Bianchi's shoulder.

"What I think is weird is that a baby and a woman were once lovers." I said.

"I'm not a baby, I'm an Arcobaleno and a hitman."

"Oh, my apologies."

We reached our house and the door opened. "Natsu-chan!" Mom squealed.

"Kaa-san!" I squealed, running into her arms. "I missed you soooo much!"

"Come in quickly, I'll make you something to eat, you must be starving!" She ushered us all in.

Tsuna introduced me to two other kids, I-Pin (who was so sweet despite not being able to speak any Japanese) and Lambo (the most annoying cow I've ever met). Also, this super-adorable boy called Fuuta arrived, and apparently he can rank just about anything in the world. He ranked me as the number 3 prettiest mafia-person in the world, which was rather flattering, even though I had no idea I was in the mafia. Whatever, it's totally awesome.

Just as Tsuna was sitting down for dinner, something on a long chain around his neck fell forward. I peered closer. It was a beautiful ring.

"Hey, since when did you wear bling, Tsuna?"

"W-what? I don't!" Tsuna stammered, quickly grabbing the ring and stuffing it back into his shirt before I could say anymore.

What the heck was he hiding from me?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Slap!

"Reborn-san?" I asked when Tsuna was washing up. I felt slightly nervous, because come on, the kid's an assassin. "Reborn-san, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Hn. What is it you want?" Reborn said.

"Tsuna won't tell me about the weird ring he keeps around his neck. Is that, like, important or something? I understand all the mafia stuff, but I don't really get what's going on right now."

"It's nothing important." Reborn said after a moment of silence. "There's just some problems with other members of the Vongola Family."

"What's going on? Is it, like, some kind of internal dispute or something?"

"Yes, that's exactly what it is. Have you heard of the Vongola Family before?"

I nodded. "Vaguely. It's always mentioned in Italy. Something like the strongest mafia family in the world or something?"

"Yes." Reborn sounded pleased, which was kind of adorable. "Anyway, the strongest assassin team in the world, our Vongola Independent Assassination Squad, the Varia, are being rather difficult lately. In other words, their boss is the son of Vongola Nono, Timoteo, and he isn't happy that Tsuna was chosen to be the Vongola Decimo."

"Whoa. That sounds heavy."

"Yes. In order to find out who's the true heir to the Vongola, we are doing a Ring battle. In other words, the Vongola rings - one of which you saw hanging around no-good Tsuna's neck at dinner - are prizes. Whoever defeats their opponent during their determined battle wins the ring. Whoever has the most rings at the end wins."

"Sounds awesome." Like a video game. "So, what's up right now?"

"We're just getting started." Reborn reported. "We've only had the Sun Battle so far. I believe you've noticed the wounds on Sasagawa Ryohei?"

Oh, yeah, that guy. The hyperactive, loud extreme kid. He was wounded, I completely forgot.

"So, he won or something?"

"Yes, against Lussuria. So we have a one-point lead right now, basically."

"You're awesome at explaining things, Reborn-san."

"Thank you."

Tsuna came into his room. "Huh? What are you doing here, onee-chan?"

"None of your business, li'l bro." I patted his head, then noticed he wasn't wearing pyjamas. "Hey, are you going somewhere so late at night? There's a rainstorm outside."

"N-no." Tsuna protested weakly, before a loud "Ow!" as Reborn jumped up like a ninja and kicked his side. "She already knows, no-good Tsuna. Let her come along."

"Sweet, is it the next ring battle?" I was jumping from excitement. Awesome!

"Yes. This is the Thunder Battle, between Lambo and Levi A Than."

"Wait….Lambo? You mean, like, the annoying cow kid downstairs?"

"Yes." Tsuna said reluctantly.

"That sucks, Tsuna! You can't have an awesome, badass Vongola crew with that kid on your team! Give me the Thunder ring, I'll kick this Levi guy's ass!" I held out my hand.

"No way!" Tsuna protested, looking actually angry which was surprising. "For one, I can't do that, the ring was given to Lambo for reasons that are beyond me. And second, there is no way I'm letting my own sister go on a mafia battlefield!"

Reborn half-smirked, looking all _Looks like my no-good student finally sounded like a man_ and all that. That kid is so cool.

"Fine." I pouted. "But I'm coming along anyway."

For some reason, we were heading to the top of Tsuna's school, Namimori Middle. This random lady with awesome pink hair was waiting for us. "The battle will take place on the roof." Lightning flashed, revealing awesome tower-things on the top of the school. It was ominous and freaky and glorious as hell. I was getting super excited.

"Wait, where did you dye your hair?" I shouted desperately at the lady, who ignored me as she slipped away into the darkness, all Batman-like. Or Spiderman. Whatever.

Tsuna's friends arrived, minus the girls. I guess the excitement was too much for them. "OH, IT'S SAWADA'S SISTER!" Ryohei shouted. That kid never talks quietly. It's actually kind of funny.

"Hey!" I responded cheerfully. "Are you here to watch?" Yamamoto grinned cheerfully. "We'll all be cheering Lambo on!" Gokudera just snorted. "That dumb cow better not embarrass the Tenth, or I'll kill him myself!"

We headed up to the roof. The rain was brutal. Yamamoto was kind enough to lend me the umbrella he was carrying. "I don't need it anyway." He said, flashing me a smile. God, he's so cute!

Lightning flashed, and some weird guy was just standing there in the rain. He had spiky hair, a permanent scowl on his face, and weirdly enough six umbrellas attached to his back. Okay, seriously, how many umbrellas do you need? He had some pretty wicked piercing, though.

I heard what sounded like manic giggling. "Levi showed up two hours early again? I can't believe him."

I looked for who was talking. It was some kid - no more than a boy, really, barely any older than my Tsuna - who had long blonde bangs covering his eyes and like half his face, and strangely enough what looked like a tiara-crown sort of thing on his head. He looked kind of crazy, but so did the others he was near.

One was this funky baby - an Arcobaleno like Reborn, maybe? - who's hood covered most of his face, his eyes obscured by shadow. He was resting on the metal fingers of this huge robot thing that looked like the Terminator except, you know, not as awesome.

The other was this strange guy who had hostile, silver eyes which matched the colour of his long hair, which was partially obscured by a hood he pulled over his head. "VOOOIIIII, JUST FINISH THIS ALREADY!" He yelled, in a voice loud enough to beat Ryohei's. Whoa.

Then Ryohei and Yamamoto pulled Tsuna, Lambo, and an extremely embarrassed Gokudera in for one of those group circles, like they do before a football match or something. It was cute, but highly humiliating, and I thanked god they didn't notice me, or I would probably be included in it too.

So, after Tsuna uselessly tried to get Lambo to stop fighting, the little cow kid scrambled onto the strange metal rods all over the ground. A flash of lightning. Suddenly, one of the poles lit up with electricity. It traveled down the metal. The guy with the umbrellas (who I assumed must be Levi A Than because he was on the field as well) jumped up in time, but Lambo didn't notice anything.

"Lambo!" I yelled in horror. Lambo received a huge shock that I was certain killed him. "Oh my god!" I covered my mouth with my hands.

"Vooooiii, who the hell are you?" The silver-haired guy snarled at me. "We don't need weak, screaming girls to interfere with our fighting. Go the fuck away, already!"

Okay, that pushed it way too far. I hate, repeat HATE, rude guys who swear at me. It brings out the Inner Bad Side of me. The Inner BS (which sounds like inner bull shit, haha) makes me swear like crazy. I snapped my head up to glare at him. "Shut it, you long-haired, dumbass, pathetic, weak-assed fucktard!"

The silver-haired guy stared at me in shock, looking slightly surprised and angry. The boy with the tiara looked my way, apparently interested. The baby Arcobaleno thing ignored me.

Strangely enough, Lambo was okay. But he was crying like hell, and it was irritating just about everybody.

Suddenly, the kid pulls out what looks like a bazooka from his huge afro-hair. Holy crap, I know! A bazooka! Bawling like the baby he is, he makes it face him and he pulls the trigger.

A cloud of dust or smoke or whatever suddenly billows out, and in Lambo's place is this super good-looking boy who kind of resembles Lambo with his horns and cow-patterned shirt.

"It's the ten-year bazooka!" Tsuna explained quickly to me, his eyes never leaving the battlefield. "If you're hit by that bazooka, you'll switch places with your ten-year-future self for five minutes."

"Whoa, that's awesome." I totally want to try that out. What does my ten-year-future self look like? Am I hot? Do I have a better figure? Am I, you know, more developed? GASP! WHAT IF I'M MARRIED? I can totally get a look at my future husband!

Unfortunately, even though he's a lot hotter, Lambo kind of sucks at fighting. Crying like the baby he still is, he shoots himself again.

OMIGOD! HIS 25-YEAR-OLD FUTURE SELF! He's even hotter, super cool, with longer hair, and he's totally my age now!

Then he looks at me and smiles, and goes all "Oh, are you the twenty-year-ago Natsuki nee-san? You're so young and cute."

"Oh my god! You know the twenty-year later me?" I shriek. This is so cool!

"Of course, who doesn't? After all, you're -" Then he paused, and gave me a sly smile. "I think you should wait twenty years to find out."

Then this cool thing where the 25-year-old Lambo pulls out the horns that say Dumb Cow from when Gokudera wrote it, a total time lapse there! Then suddenly, I hear a familiar voice say "These horns belong to the Lambo 20 years from now. The current Bovino boss let me have them a week ago."

"Dad!" Tsuna yelped. I turned around. Oh my god, it's Loser Dad!

Iemitsu turns to me and goes all "Natsuki, I haven't seen you in years! Since when have you been back?"

Everyone, including the Varia guys, turn to me. "That Sawada brat has a sister?" I heard the loud silver-haired guy mutter. "Ushishishi, how interesting." The blonde crown-guy cackled.

I made a face. "Ew, what are you doing here?" I thought he was some oil man. Since when was he all mafia-like?

"Oh yeah, I kind of lied to you kids!" He gave me this big goofy grin. "I'm the Vongola Family's external advisor. This is daddy's little secret, so don't tell Nana, okay?"

Actually, I was dying to tell mom. I knew she'd flip. But I made a face. "Yeah, whatever, Loser Dad."

But then, just when I thought 20-year Lambo was going to kick Levi's ass, he turned back into the 5-year Lambo. Then a really supremely pissed-off Levi (hey, his umbrellas made lightning, what do you know?) started to beat him up.

That pissed me off. "Stop that!" I screamed over the rain. "Ever heard of child services, you jerk?"

I was about ready to stomp right into the battlefield and kick some thunder ass when the ladies with pink hair (called the Cervello I think) blocked me. "If you step into the battlefield you will be disqualified."

"I'm not even part of the guardians!" I protested.

"You will cause them a disqualification."

"You know, for such awesome hair, you're a real bitch, you know that?"

She said nothing and left.

But then my little hero Tsuna came in and wow, did he look different! Orange flames were sprouting out from his forehead and these strange badass gloves, and he used the heat to melt the poles conducting electricity. When he turned to look at everyone and said in an awesome, serious voice "I can't fight for these things," his eyes were orange and he was so cool!

"Yeah, go Tsuna!" I cheered.

The fire died away to smoke, and he turned back to normal. "But I don't want my friends to get hurt!"

I was about to say something like "Powned, beyotch!" but then this strange beam of something shot out and smashed right into Tsuna, and he slammed backwards. "Tsuna!" I screamed.

The smoke cleared away to reveal a man, around my age. He had very scary, intimidating, and angry red eyes and spiked-up hair. If I was being nice, I could say he would be good-looking, if it wasn't for the strange scars on his forehead and cheek. His raccoon tail and feather stuff was pretty awesome, but I was too pissed off to say otherwise.

To my surprise, Tsuna glared right back at him. Then they started doing a bunch of threats and promises and other stuff, but I wasn't paying attention.

I was trying to find a way to get to the smokestack-thing he was standing on so I could bitch-slap the bejezus out of him.

By the time I finally reached the top, he was saying something about handing over all the rings and the position of boss to Tsuna if they get the majority of the rings.

"But if you lose…." he smirked. "Everything you hold dear will be eliminated."

Tsuna was starting to look afraid. This guy who I assume is the boss I think Reborn called Xanxus or something (sick name, but whatever) was so ominous. But his threat was short-lived because Sawada Natsuki, badass and pissed, had finally reached the top.

"Nee-chan!" Tsuna yelled in horror. "Natsuki!" Loser Dad yelled.

Xanxus turned around…..just in time to catch my stinging slap across his cheek.

There was a loooong silence. I was breathing hard, beyond angry. I'm pretty sure this Xanxus guy could kill me now, like when he injured that Cervello lady. But I think he was kind of shocked into, you know, paralysis or something.

"I don't care who you are." I said in a soft, shaking voice. "I don't care what you are, and I don't care how strong you are!" My voice rose louder and louder, until it was like thunder itself. "But if you threaten and bully my little brother like that, I swear to god I will kick your ass!"

Xanxus was slowly starting to recover. "What the fuck did you just do…?" He growled.

"VOOIIIIII, WOMAN, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU KNOW THAT?" The silver-haired guy roared.

I glared straight into Xanxus' red eyes, took a deep breath, and said "You don't scare me!"

"Oh, really?" His hands trembled, and started to turn orange-ish. It looked kind of like the flames from Tsuna's hands, except his wasn't a flame, it was a glow, an aura.

Suddenly, something hit me. But it wasn't the flames in Xanxus' hands, it was the wrong way. Somewhere below me. I staggered off the chimney thing, all the air knocked out of me. Someone caught me, and I realized it was Loser Dad.

"I have to get you out of here." Loser Dad muttered. "Or else Xanxus will kill you. Now. Don't argue."

I really wanted to say "Screw you" to him, but I still couldn't breathe and I was seeing stars and spots, which kind of looked like the Universe, so I said nothing and let him carry me home like a baby.

I woke up in my bed, long enough for Tsuna to tell me they had to give up both the Thunder ring and the Sky ring and the next battle was the Storm battle between Tsuna and the blonde-haired kid called Belphegor. I was awake long enough to say "Sucks, bro," before I passed out again.

For some reason, I dreamed of red eyes that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: New Job

Unfortunately, Loser Dad refused to let me watch the rest of the Ring battles, saying if any of the Varia, especially Xanxus, saw me again, they will kill me without a second thought.

"I only have your safety in my thoughts, Natsuki." He said.

I slammed the door into his face. Yeah, whatever, Loser Dad.

Anyway, from what a wounded Tsuna told me days later was that the rings rejected Xanxus because he wasn't the Vongola Nono's real son or whatever and, like the loser he was, tried to kill everyone but they were saved by some Lanchia guy. Anyway, the Varia went back to Italy, where they belonged, being the gay-ass assassin jerks they were.

Of course, I could only stay for a few weeks, since I still have education and crap to finish in Italy. So Loser Dad works for the all-powerful Vongola Family, which probably paid him some pretty sweet cash. I mean, I always thought it was weird he had enough money to support both Mom and Tsuna as well as my studying alone for years if he was a simple oil man. God, I can't believe I never suspected this before!

No wonder he suggested I study in Italy. Gasp! OMG! What if he's secretly hired stalker-bodyguards to stalk me for my (insert quotation marks) safety? The nerve! I'm never talking to him again!

Not like I do anyway, but whatever.

So it's time for me to go back, and everyone is there. Kyoko and Haru look like they're on the verge of crying, since we got really close over the past four weeks or so, and I hug them and promise to write and all that. Yamamoto sweetly wishes me a good trip, and Gokudera goes into this like 90-degree bow. Reborn wishes me well, which was sweet of the guy. I hug Mom, then I hug Tsuna.

"I'll write." I whisper.

"Don't get killed by mafia people," He whispers back nervously. Oh my god, he's soooo cute! I just want to take him with me!

Actually, no. He'd probably get killed. But whatever.

"Oh dear, Iemitsu didn't come by." Mom fretted. "And he was so looking forward to wishing you safe trip. But he said he had to go control oil production in Alaska."

YEAH RIGHT! THAT STUPID, LYING A-HOLE! I wanted to punch him right in his big alcohol-ingesting gut for lying to my sweet mother, because honestly, he's probably hiding somewhere in Italy shooting somebody this very moment as we speak.

So, I'm back in Italy. Yay for that. I live in this super-tiny apartment thing that only has a room and a tiny, tiny bathroom. But it's really nice. I saved up from my part-time jobs to get a really nice mattress and this super adorable polar bear-like rug (not that it's real polar bear fur, because that's just gross).

But when I get to the apartment, the manager guy is like waiting for me at the receptionist desk in the front hall and says I can't go in.

"And why the hell not, dude?" I demanded. "I signed a five-year contract with this thing and I've been paying my rent! This is an outrage!"

"I'm afraid your contract has been…..removed." The manager says, obviously looking uncomfortable. "And I must inform you all your part-time jobs have been cancelled as well."

"Where the heck am I supposed to live, then? On the streets?" What in the name of all that's holy was going on here?

"Er, well -" The manager started to say.

"That's already been taken care of." Someone interrupted smoothly, and it turns out it's some super gorgeous, bishonen blonde guy who's seriously making me swoon here. No, wait! No swooning! Snap out of it, Natsuki!

"Who are you?" I say in my rudest voice, the one I usually save for Loser Dad or the occasional perverted boy.

He bows. "My name is Dino. I am the head of the Cavallone Family. And you are Sawada Natsuki-san, correct?"

"Yeah, I am. But you didn't answer my question, mafia boy. Who are you?"

"Forgive me." He laughs a bit. "I'm kind of like Tsuna's big brother. We were both trained by Reborn. The Cavallone Family is allied with the Vongola. Please, come with us. The Vongola Nono is waiting for you."

Okay, so there is a universal rule for young ladies (especially beautiful young ladies like _moi_) to never, never, never get in a car with a strange man. But the car was actually a fancy limo, the strange man was hot, and the mafia made this into a whole other matter altogether. So what do I have to lose?

"So, um, how did you find me?" I asked hesitantly as we drove to the Vongola Headquarters or whatever. "Oh god, please don't tell me you're the stalker-bodyguards Loser Dad hired!"

"What?" Dino blinked at me, dumbfounded, then laughed again. "No, like I said, I'm from the Cavallone Family. Well, they asked for a favour and I like both the Vongola Nono and Tsuna, so I decided to collect you. You match your picture perfectly." He showed me this big printed picture of my face. "You're very photogenic."

"THAT'S MY PASSPORT PHOTO!" I screeched so loudly the driver guy I think was called Romario nearly caused a traffic accident. "OH MY GOD, LOSER DAD REALLY IS STALKING ME! HOW THE HELL DID HE GET HIS HANDS ON MY PASSPORT PHOTO?"

"I really don't know." Dino said, looking confused as to why I was freaking out.

Romario pulled up to this big fancy-ass mansion place and, after a brief tussle with security and such - I was actually checked for weapons - they led me into the mansion and then into a big fancy room.

This old man was sitting in a chair near a large window overlooking a field. Suddenly, I cried out "Grandpa!" without even thinking.

Oh, wait, I do remember this guy. When I was younger and Tsuna was just a toddler, he came over sometimes to play with us.

Could this be…Vongola Nono?

"Welcome, Natsuki-chan." Nono said, smiling. "Please, have a seat." He indicated the chair across from him. I sat down nervously. He looked like a kindly old grandfather, not the leader of a global crime organization.

"How's Tsunayoshi-kun doing? And, of course, your dear mother Nana-chan? Iemitsu never stops talking about her."

I was feeling grumpy along with nervous. "Tsuna's fabulous. He's being forced into being a crime lord. Mom is doing okay, because she has absolutely no idea what the hell's going on, and WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT LOSER DAD ANYWAY?" I suddenly started screaming.

"Now, now, calm down, Natsuki-chan." Nono said, giving me a box. It was really pretty, with a pink bow tied around it. "Here, a present for you."

My anger dissolved quickly. I opened the box and inside was a box of chocolates and the prettiest dress I've ever seen. It was pure-white and silver, whiter than snow, and shimmered like silk as I ran my hands through it.

"It's beautiful, Nono…..or grandpa….Timoteo….can I just call you Timo-jii-chan?"

"Anything is fine."

"So, what's it for?" Even though the chocolates were delicious and the dress was gorgeous, I was still suspicious. Nobody just gives you presents out of nowhere.

"Well, it just so happens I heard you were in need of a place to stay and a job…."

Wait a second. How did HE know?

"Dear lord, please don't tell me the Vongola had something to do with my sudden eviction and loss of jobs." I said through gritted teeth.

"You're sharper than I expected, Natsuki-chan."

"Okay, so you purposefully pushed me into a corner….what's the job, Ninth? An assassination of a president?"

"No, nothing ridiculous like that. I simply need you to fill in as a sort of live-in cleaner."

"Cleaner?" That didn't sound so bad. I loved cooking and cleaning. That's mostly why I loved to live on my own (never once did I go out to eat, I'm so proud).

"Yes. You'll need to cook and clean, and your new bosses might be a bit…..er…..difficult, shall we say, but I think you are the only one for the job."

"Really?" That's flattering.

"Yes." He looked me straight in the eyes. "In fact, I believe you might be able to _change_ your bosses for the better."

Awesome! Money, a house, cooking, cleaning, AND a totally spiritual life-changer! "I'm in! When can I start?"

"Well, we're going to send you there straight away, but I suggest you stay out of your bosses' way for a few days or so….just so we can break the news to them, er, slowly. They might not be too keen on letting you have the job at first."

"No problem! I'll hide in the attic if I need to!" I'm practically bouncing on the seat. I'm so totally excited!

Nono smiled at my burst of happiness. "I'm very glad you are so happy. But please keep it a secret from your father. Iemitsu doesn't like your new bosses very much."

"Who are they?"

"Nobody."

Well, that was weird.

"Oh yeah, Tsuna told me you were injured by those bastard Varia. Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh, yes, I am fine." Nono grinned. "Never felt better. Now, Dino-kun can escort you to your new home."

Ooh, the handsome bishie again!

Dino drove me deep into a dark forest that looked super-ominous and creepy. "Are you sure they live here?" I ask nervously.

"Er….yes." Dino said hesitantly.

When we finally reach a huge, dark, horror-movie-worthy castle, I was ready to jump out the car.

"My new bosses aren't vampires, are they?"

"No." Dino said patiently, or as patiently as a guy can get when a girl like _moi_ has been pestering him for almost fifteen minutes if my new bosses were different monsters. I already went through everything from werewolves to zombies.

"So, we're here." Dino said brightly. I slowly climbed out of the car.

"I hope you have a good time." Dino said, his voice slowly losing brightness until it was serious and nervous. "And be careful."

Whoa. Heavy.

It was only after Dino drove away and disappeared in the humongous dark forests did I notice the flag on top of a castle turret, whipping like crazy in the wind. It bore the words: _Independent Assassination Squad of the Vongola IX_.

Independent Assassination Squad…..Independent Assassination Squad….

"OH MY GOD!" I shrieked, so loudly birds chirped with fright and flew off trees.

That bastard Nono! He sent me to work for the Varia!

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for readers, but due to some weird computer spazzing I had to delete this story and then re-enter it. Crap. But anyway, it's finally going to get interesting! So please keep reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Varia and the Servant

I walked into the Varia HQ. It was completely silent, which was a good thing, because it meant they weren't home. I remembered how loud that silver-haired guy was.

I kept on walking until I reached what looked like a large dining room. I entered it and sat in one of the chairs. I really had nothing on me but the clothes I was wearing, and the box of gifts Nono gave to me.

I looked into the box and, to my surprise, there was an envelope taped to the inside of the lid that I didn't notice before. I unfolded it and this strange orange flame (kind of like Tsuna's except, you know, smaller) was flickering slowly at the top of the letter. It didn't burn when I ran my finger through it. Amazed, I looked at the letter, which was written in Italian.

_Thank god I learned fluent Italian when studying here_, I thought.

I read the letter:

_Dear Sawada Natsuki,_

_I'm sorry for tricking you, but I wasn't sure if you would take the job knowing you would be working for the Varia. Please forgive me, but I truly believe you can change them for the better. _

_Despite the fact they are cold-blooded assassins, I feel they are too extreme lately and they need something - or someone - that they wish to protect with all their hearts. Don't give up, Natsuki-chan, I believe you are that person. It will be hard in the beginning, but I know a girl as strong as you can pull through._

_Despite my encouragement, I must also give you a warning. Out of the six remaining Guardians for the Varia, there are three you must watch out for the most: The Sky Guardian and leader Xanxus (my son); his second-in-command, the Rain Guardian Superbi Squalo; and the Storm Guardian Belphegor. These three are the most bloodthirsty and will probably give you the most problems._

_Please keep out of sight until we break them the news. Keep safe, Natsuki-chan._

_Timoteo, Vongola Nono_

Oh, well, that was pleasant.

I was just reading a P.S. at the bottom (it said there was a separate letter for the Varia if I ever meet them face-to-face) when I heard distinctly a door slam shut. Followed by a "VOOOOOOIIIIIIIIII!"

Oh, crap!

"WHY IS THE DOOR OPEN?"

Oh, double crap! I completely forgot to close it!

"Whatever, trash." Came the voice of Xanxus, who yawned and went an opposite direction as the others. I felt a surge of dislike creep up my throat at the sound of his voice, but I couldn't slap him again.

_Stupid stupid stupid stupid_, I chanted silently to myself as I scurried away. I dashed into a room just seconds before the Varia rounded the corner and walked down the hallway.

Through a crack in the door I saw the silver-haired loudmouth who had a sword blade strapped to his left wrist. He stopped right in front of the room I was hiding in and stiffened.

"Voooi, I sense a presence."

Eeeek! I scrambled backwards, found an empty cupboard, and crawled into it. I shut the door the instant I heard the door to the room slam open.

"There's nobody there." Came the grumpy voice of that Levi person.

"Squ, you're being jumpy." Came a new voice, this one rather high-pitched.

So, the silver-haired swordsman was the second-in-command, Squalo?

"Whatever." Squalo muttered, and I heard the door slam shut again. I breathed out slowly in relief. My heart was racing, and it was so fast and so loud I could have sworn the Varia could hear it.

I crawled out of the cupboard and crept into the hallway. They were gone. As I walked down, I finally started to hear noises coming from what appeared to be a kitchen, as I caught a glimpse of a countertop.

"Vooooi, where are the stupid cooks? I'm starving!"

"You killed them all, remember?" Came the baby voice of the Arcobaleno.

"Actually, Boss killed them." Came the sadistic voice of that blonde-haired crown boy. Followed by a maniacal giggle. "Ushishishishi, Boss gets all the fun jobs. The Prince is jealous."

"Voooiiii, we need to get some more servants!" Squalo roared, and I distinctly heard the sound of a cupboard being slammed. "You expect me to cook?"

"Cooking is _so_ not my style." Came the high-pitched voice again.

"Whatever, let's just go find the boss." Levi grumped.

I heard their footsteps. Not again! I dashed into the first room I saw. But then I heard them coming into this room, so I had to run into the room connected to that. It was so confusing.

So, you can kind of imagine what day I had. I spent the entire time running from room to room, hallway to hallway, like one big hide-and-seek game. And when they finally went to bed, I snuck into the kitchen and found this funny little alcove in-between a counter and the fridge. I took off my jacket, rolled it up into a pillow shape, and curled into the corner like a frightened rabbit.

It wasn't until I was drifting off to an uneasy sleep did I remember - _Crapsocks!_ I didn't eat dinner!

If only I didn't eat all the chocolate at Nono's house, and they would hear if I so much as opened a cupboard. So in the end, I went to bed hungry for the first time in my life.

Before Squalo went to sleep, he sensed it again. Something wrong. Another extra presence.

There was no coincidence that the door was open when they came back, and that suddenly he felt like an extra person was in the house.

It didn't help either that he knew it wasn't one of the lesser Varia members scuttling about, because they all lived in a separate HQ from the main Varia Guardians.

And it wasn't a servant either, because although they lived with the Varia in the basement floors, all of the servants have been killed by either Squalo (because he caught them lazing about), Bel (because he loves practicing knife throwing with moving targets) or Xanxus (simply because he felt like it).

Squalo felt someone was there. Or maybe Lussura was right, he was jumpy.

But all the same, he didn't sleep peacefully.

I woke up with severe lower back pain and a crick in my neck. Thankfully, no one was around. But I was sure it had to be morning. And I was starving. A box of fancy Italian chocolates weren't enough to satisfy my hunger. For a girl as skinny as _moi_, I had a big appetite.

I stumbled out of the kitchen, clutching my box from Nono, when IT happened.

I ran right into somebody. The blonde-haired prince boy.

Then, like a doofus, I said "Oh, sorry! Are you okay?"

Oh, CRAP.

The prince just looks at me - sort of, I really can't tell with all his bangs. Then he mumbles something that sounded like "Mmmmbbble….knife….mmmbmmm…..prince…mmembmmammmm…."

Then his head slouched forwards until it rested on my shoulder.

_Holy-mother-of-Jesus-walking-scarecrows-and-ponies-on-a-stick, he's sleepwalking._

Very, very lightly, I gently pushed his head up and let him lean against the wall. From up close, this boy was very fragile-looking, with delicate bone structure. Prince-like. I smiled. He made me want to care for him, like Tsuna almost. Except this guy was probably a psychotic killer, but either way, it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling like I belonged in this hellhole.

At least, until I heard "Vooooii, Bel, wake up, you're sleepwalking again!"

I turned around…..and there was Superbi Squalo, half-dressed in his Varia uniform, still kind-of shirtless since he was doing up the buttons, and he stopped and stared at me in shock. I stared back at him. There was this whole Mexican stand-off stare contest going on here.

"Vooooii….aren't you that Sawada brat's sister?" Squalo said slowly.

"Ummm…..no?" I said.

Then I turned around and ran for my life.

A split second later, I heard "VOOOOIIIIIII! SOMEONE GET THAT BRAT!"

I heard doors crashing from just about everywhere. Oh my god!

"BEL, YOU TRASH, STOP SLEEPING AND GET THAT GIRL!"

There was silence. Then I heard an unmistakeable "Ushishishishishi…."

Suddenly, a knife appeared out of nowhere and somehow turned the curve and headed straight for me. I shrieked and dove away. It missed by inches.

One, two, three, ten more knives all turned the corner and sped towards me. I dodged them exceptionally well, but a few nicked at my sleeves and jean legs. One actually went deep enough for me to start bleeding.

Oh god.

"VOOOIIII, GOOD JOB, BEL!" Squalo roared "NOW WE CAN TRACK HER DOWN!"

Track me down? Wait, that's it! I searched my body quickly and, at the last second, found a small, thin wire attached to my sleeve. It was so tiny it was practically invisible. What's more, I felt what seemed like a slight numbness on my arm, so I couldn't feel it. Bel must have done that while he was sleepwalking.

So, he was psychotic creeper number three. Now I had to watch out for psycho number two (Squalo), and for god's sakes I had to get away from psycho number one (Xanxus) or he'll blow my head off.

I dashed down the hallway, but I was a tiny little girl and they were all grown, trained killers, and it was pretty obvious they were going to catch up to me. I kept running for all I was worth, forcing my legs to move faster and faster.

Squalo was catching up to me. He was practically on my heels. I was going to get caught.

I jerked sideways and dove through a door, tripped, and fell flat just as Squalo reached me.

"Vooooii, you better start explaining yourself!" Squalo sneered. "But make it quick, before I slice you up!"

Scared completely shitless, I scrabbled along the floor, crawling on the ground as fast as I could.

Then my hand touched a shoe.

No wonder Squalo didn't bother trying to tie me up or kill me or something. There was someone else in the room. I looked up slowly.

A pair of red eyes stared at me intensely in the half-darkness.

"Xanxus….." I whispered.

"Any last words, trash?" He said, and I saw a fiery glow appear in the palm of his hand.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Work or Die

A/N: Hey, it's me again. Just a quick thing. You probably already noticed this, but every time a paragraph is separated by the asterisk (*) thing, it means it's from another person's perspective. I just didn't want to make it a 3-person point of view because I want you to see everything from Natsuki's point of view. Anyway, enjoy J

I was sitting on the floor, clutching my box, while the Varia crowded around me and proceeded to figure out who should be the lucky enough one to kill me.

"Oh, such a shame." This guy with some awesome dyed hair who was the guy with the high-pitched voice cooed. "She's such a pretty one, it would be a shame to kill her." I think they called him Lussuria.

Mammon, the Arcobaleno, spoke up. "Mu, she's not even worth selling. She'll never get me any money."

"To avenge boss, I will kill this girl brutally!" Levi declared.

Xanxus ignored them all, he sipped at a glass of what looked like wine or something.

"Vooooii, what should we do, boss?" Squalo demanded. "Should we kill her, or figure out why she's here first?"

Xanxus said nothing, but threw the glass at Squalo's head. I cringed as the shattered glass and wine littered his silver hair. "VOOOOOIIIII!" Squalo roared in fury. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?"

"Shut up, trash shark." Xanxus said, then turned to me. "What's that?"

"What's….huh?" I looked at him blankly, then down at the box I was holding in my shaking, numb hands. "This….the Nono gave it to me."

"Don't lie, trash." Xanxus said. He was being remarkably patient for someone who desperately wanted to kill me. I could tell just by looking at him it took all of his patience to not blast me right now. "Why the hell would the old fart give you anything?"

"Because he's the one that called me here!" I snapped angrily, then muttered under my breath "Dumbass."

Squalo's wrist-sword-thing slipped forward to touch my throat, just barely grazing the skin. "Vooooii, watch what you say." He growled.

"Whatever." I shrugged him off and pushed the sword blade away from my throat. "Here, big boss. You want this or what?" I pulled out the letter Nono told me to give to the Varia and sat there patiently as Xanxus read it.

Bel giggled as he bent down beside me. "Ushishishishi, it looks like it would be fun to torture you a bit." As if to demonstrate, he held out a strange, wicked-looking knife. I shivered and backed away as much as I could.

"What does it say, boss?" Lussuria asked.

Xanxus' face didn't change, but it was obvious looking at him that he was getting more and more pissed off as he read the letter. Finally, he crumpled it up and threw it into the fireplace.

"It says that, if we call ourselves the Independent Assassination Squad of the Vongola Nono, we can't kill her." Xanxus hissed. "We have to keep her alive for now."

Several of them looked disappointed.

"Yay!" I piped up.

"Shut up!" Squalo snapped.

"You shut up!" I said without thinking.

"What did you say to me, scum?" He snarled.

"Both of you shut up!" Levi yelled. "You're disturbing the boss!"

"All of you scummy trash shut up or I'll kill you all." Xanxus said with barely-restrained fury. It was obvious he wanted to kill me.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'll cut your tongue out if you do that again, trash."

I scowled at him. "You're no fun. Anyway, Nono probably explained why I'm here, right? I'm here to cook and clean. And from what I can tell, it seems like you desperately need a servant to do that for you."

"Mu, I don't want to pay this girl." Mammon muttered. "Why should I spend my money?"

"Why do we have to pay her anyhow?" Squalo snorted. "Let's just cut off her head and be done with it."

"The prince will do the cutting-up part." Bel grinned.

"You guys are all psychos." I said. They looked a bit confused at that. I think nobody's ever really back talked them before. Unfortunately for them, I am the absolute QUEEN at back talking.

"Well, what should we do?" Squalo turned to Xanxus, who was yawning as though he was bored. Yeah, right. A-hole.

Xanxus looked at me. I glared back at him. After a few moments, I started to get really freaked out by his red eyes and looked down at my hands, which were resting on the floor. When I looked up again, he was smirking.

"She came here to cook and clean, didn't she?" He said. "Well, let's get her working. What the hell are you trash all doing here anyway? Go do something."

The Varia scattered, most giving me dirty looks. Xanxus stood up. "You, trash. Come with me."

I stood up slowly and stumbled a bit.

"Hurry up, I don't have all day." He snapped.

"My legs are asleep!" I protested. "I can't feel them!"

"Maybe I can blow off your legs, let's see how they feel then."

I scowled and followed him out of the room and down the hallways. He opened the door to the kitchen. "There you go, trash."

It was a big kitchen, now that it was light and I could see it fully. And it was also incredibly, incredibly dirty. Dirt, dust, and gunk were absolutely caked on the walls and counters. Dirty pots, pans, dishes, and silverware were overflowing in the greasy sink.

Oh. My. Freaking. God.

"You have until nine o' clock to clean this all up." Xanxus informed me, looking like he was thoroughly enjoying himself. "That's an order, servant."

"You have got to be joking me!" I protested, looking at the clock on the wall. It was exactly eight. "This is impossible! I can't clean this in only an hour-"

He looked into my eyes. Brown and red. "Do you have a complaint?"

There was silence.

"It said in the letter that I can't kill you as long as you are our servant." He continued, smirking. "So if you do a bad job or you don't obey an order, I will fire you. And if I fire you, then I will kill you immediately. Work or die, servant."

He left.

When I made sure he wasn't anywhere in blasting range I yelled at the top of my lungs "BASTARD!"

Was this going to stop me?

Hell no.

They weren't going to get rid of me this easily. I'll show them. I'll do everything they say to the letter, and I will prove to them that Sawada Natsuki can't be killed like this.

Scowling in a sort of determined way, I rolled up the sleeves to my sweater and went in search for a mop and a sponge, because obviously he wasn't going to tell me. I had a lot of cleaning to do.

Bel was bored. There was nothing to do today because no interesting assassination jobs were offered. The boring jobs he gave to the lesser Varia, because if the job was boring he didn't want to do it at all.

Actually, there was something to do today.

The new servant. That Sawada brat's sister. The one who slapped boss weeks ago.

He grinned. She was interesting enough. Nobody else had the guts to talk to the Varia like that.

He would order her to do anything he wanted. He will make her work to the bone. And, when she was exhausted to the point she couldn't move, he would cut her up as much as he wanted without killing her, send her to the boss for the final blow, and that would be that.

After all, he killed too many servants and they were all gone. He hasn't had a moving practice target in months.

Sawada Natsuki will keep him interested for now.

It was nine o'clock.

"Hey, trash shark." Xanxus said to Squalo. "Go see if that trash girl cleaned the kitchen. If she didn't, bring her to me."

Squalo snickered. "Only an hour. There's no way she could have finished everything. You'll finally get your revenge, boss."

"Whatever." Xanxus turned away.

Squalo knew Xanxus was looking forward to killing Sawada Natsuki. Actually, even though Squalo hated Xanxus' guts, he was still incredibly loyal to his boss. When Natsuki slapped and humiliated him that day during the Ring battles, she humiliated them all.

He hoped Xanxus would let him cut her up first before he killed her.

I was so into what I was doing I didn't even hear Squalo come into the kitchen.

"What the fuck?"

I turned around. "Sorry, the stew isn't ready yet."

"What the hell is this?" Squalo looked around, shocked, at the spotless kitchen. The walls were scrubbed clean and gleaming, restored to their original white colour without a single mark. All the pots, pans, and tableware were washed, dried, and stacked in the cupboards. Except for one, which was on the stove where I was cooking food.

Squalo stared at first the gleaming countertops then at the smooth floors. "How the hell did you do this? In only an hour?"

I opened the fridge, and I knew Squalo could see I also cleaned the inside of the fridge - it was just as clean as the outside. "You don't have a lot of ingredients for food. This stew is all I can make for now. I'll need to go buy some more, okay?"

"Vooooii, you aren't answering my question!" Squalo demanded.

"What's there to answer?" I said calmly. "I was given an order to clean this kitchen within an hour. As you can see, it's obviously clean."

One by one, the Varia members trouped in to see if I was going to die. They all stared speechless around the kitchen.

"My, my, you worked wonders in this room, Natsuki-chan!" Lussuria said.

Bel looked disappointed. "I was so looking forward to cutting you up…."

Xanxus walked in. "Trash, did you…..what the-"

I looked up at him and smiled sweetly. "Is there a problem, boss?"

He glared at me for a long time, then turned around and walked away without a word. Fine with me, sourpuss.

"I don't know how the hell you did this…" Squalo growled. "But you were lucky this time, scum."

I smiled at him sarcastically. "Really, Squalo-san? I do believe I was ordered to 'work or die'….it's a good thing my specialty is cooking and cleaning, huh?"

He glared at me, and I just smiled back. If they wanted to play this way, fine. I'll play along with them.

Nono was right. I was the only one who could do this.

I'll kick their asses, Sawada Natsuki style. And I'll show them the power of the future Vongola Decimo's sister.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Progress…Sort Of

"Hey, trash!" Xanxus growled as he used his fork to poke at a piece of meat in front of him. "The pig isn't cooked enough."

"It's cooked fine." I said through gritted teeth. I was serving them the food I had cooked that day. It was a delicious meal of roasted pig, complete with entrees and appetizers.

"Hey, are you disagreeing with the boss?" Levi snapped angrily.

"If he can actually put the meat in his mouth and chew it, he'll discover it's cooked fine." I muttered under my breath. I mean, seriously. The guy didn't even touch it and he starts complaining.

"Ushishishishishi," Bel giggled. "Hey, peasant. The prince wants you to serve me wine."

"You're too young." I said immediately, not looking at the bratty 'prince'. I really wanted to say HELLA NO YA CHILD, but that would probably count as disobeying my orders, and then I'd be killed.

"The prince isn't too young for anything." Bel said. "Peasant. Wine. Now."

"Fine, fine, whatever." I poured him wine too, wishing with all my heart that they would all die some horrible, early death.

"You can't kill me that easily." Xanxus said over the rim of his glass, as though he could read my thoughts.

Lussuria smiled at me but said nothing. He never pushed me around as much as the others did, but he also never did anything to help me either.

I finished unloading my cart of food. "Have a splendid meal, masters." I said sarcastically, silently adding _May you choke on a pig's bone and then die of suffocation of the throat or whatever_.

Squalo looked up and gave me a look that obviously meant _Bitch, please_.

Can they all read my thoughts, or am I that easy to read?

I rolled the cart back through the swinging door to the kitchen (it's connected to the main dining room), pausing only to smugly hear the sound of them eating without complaint. By the first night, they realized I cook like a god, so despite their constant complaints before and after the meal, they always eat it.

They must really like my food, because so far Xanxus hasn't thrown anything at Squalo's head. Yet. Except for the occasional glass of wine or tequila, but I don't make those, so whatever. Besides, it's his head.

Sighing, I took the time while they're eating to pull out my books. I still had studying to do, and I took the time while they were eating and a bit after they fall asleep to study. The rest of the time I have to cook, clean, or do whatever pops into their head.

Of course, Xanxus was the worst. It was like he felt it was his personal job to make sure my life is a living hell. Once, he made me clean every singe window in the castle just because it was the first thing he saw. That took me a whole afternoon.

I heard the sounds of chair legs scraping against wood and carpet, and I figured out they must be done. I closed up my book on Italian politics (honestly, they're so stupid. Half of the politicians always get killed, and they NEVER suspect the mafia) and snuck a peek through the swinging door.

Empty. Thank god.

I breathed a sigh of relief, opened the door, and stepped out-

WHAM!

I tripped on something and landed hard on my face.

"Ushishishishishi," I heard a familiar giggle.

"Damn it, Belphegor!" I yelled, slightly muffled since I was clutching my nose like it fell off or something. Actually, it felt like it did.

"Ushishishishi, it's the peasant's fault for not watching where she's going." Bel replied calmly. Mammon was sitting on his head, ignoring us both and instead greedily counting a tiny fistful of cash he held in his hands.

"Follow me, peasant. I have a job for you."

"But I have to clean this up first!"

"Orders, peasant." Bel sang. This guy was the most annoying brat ever, second only to Xanxus himself.

I slowly got up off the floor, growling and muttering obscene words not fit for the mouth of a young woman.

I followed Bel grumpily up the marble staircase and down a hallway. He stopped and opened a door. I followed him into what looked like….his bedroom?

It was the messiest room in the world. Clothes in varying states of filth were scattered everywhere on the floor, to the point I wondered why he even had a closet anyway. At least five empty pizza boxes were stranded on a table, the bed covers were unmade, and game consoles lay everywhere on the surface.

"Your work is in the closet." Bel said, falling back into the cushions on his bed. He picked up a console and pressed a button. The blank television screen came to life, featuring some sort of fighting game.

I opened the closet and grimaced. No wonder all his clothes were everywhere. The closet was filled with KNIVES.

"Clean them. Every single one." Bel instructed a baffled _moi_. "And don't you dare miss one, peasant, or I'll use it to slit your throat."

"You're kidding me. There's got to be more than a hundred in here."

"Well then, get going."

I scowled and glared at him. Bel ignored me, instead choosing to hand a console over to Mammon, who stuffed the money into his cloak pocket and picked up the (rather large for, you know, a baby) console and began playing.

I pulled out a small rag from my pocket (because it turns out, these idiots NEVER tell me where the cleaning supplies are kept) and proceeded to clean each knife until it glittered. It was incredibly boring and also incredibly dangerous, because those knives were sharp as hell.

After about two-and-a-half hours of game battling, in which a sardonically-grinning Bel kept on winning and Mammon insisted on another try, Mammon left muttering about time wasted.

"Are you done yet, peasant?" Bel called to me. Oh, nice of him to notice.

"Do I look like I'm done?" Knives were scattered everywhere at my feet. I was probably polishing my one hundred and sixty-fifth by now. Or maybe even more. Maybe two hundred and seventy-ninth.

"Hmph, hurry up. The prince wants to go to bed soon." Bel complained, flopping back on his pillows.

I scowled but said nothing. After a while, though, the silence got too awkward for me and I said, by way of conversation, "You know, these knives are really interesting."

"Hn?" Bel turned to look at me. Or something like that, his bangs were incredibly irritating that way.

I finished polishing my one hundred and sixty-sixth knife (or my two hundred and eightieth) and inspected it. I admired the detail. "The design is very intriguing and creative. Did you make it up yourself?" It was a wicked, twisted blade, but also strangely beautiful in a way.

Yeah, I'm weird like that. I used to be obsessed with swords and knives and all that. I once asked Loser Dad (on the rare occasion he would visit us) if I could join a kendo class, and he said girls don't do that. See what an a-hole he is?

Anyway, what I said seemed to interest Bel incredibly. He actually sat up and stared at me. "You think so, peasant?"

"Yeah, sure." I said, setting the knife down. "The design suits you."

Bel was silent for a long time, but I had the feeling he was staring at me intensely. I set down the polished knife and took a few seconds to flex my fingers. They were sore and cramped from doing the same repetitive action over and over again.

Just as I reached for another one, Bel interrupted. "That's it."

"What?" I paused and looked up at the kid. "That's enough. The Prince lets you go now."

"Oh, okay. Thanks!" I jumped up gratefully and stretched. My legs were sore too, but not nearly as sore as my fingers.

Just when I was about to leave the room, Bel spoke up again. "You're the first peasant to compliment my knives. Maybe you're not as much of a peasant as the other peasants are." He looked at my carefully. "Maybe the prince will promote you up to a lady. Or a duchess."

I burst out laughing. "Thanks then, _Prince_ Bel." I chuckled, leaving his room.

It was about ten o' clock already. I still had to clean up the plates and leftover food in the dining room. After that, I had another two hours of studying to do.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than anybody else as usual to start cleaning the castle. There were so many rooms, it's been taking me forever.

I was cleaning the main living room AGAIN, because Xanxus just won't stop throwing glasses of wine at Squalo's head and leaving the mess for ME to clean up, when Squalo himself walked in.

"What the hell?" He demanded when he saw me cleaning up the glass shards. "Vooooii, woman! Why are you up so early again?"

"I have work to do." I snapped back at the loud swordsman. "And shut your mouth, shark. If you wake up Xanxus, all hell is going to break loose. And I'll be cleaning up the aftermath."

Squalo growled, and I could tell he wasn't used to being insulted and then NOT being able to kill the insulter immediately. Instead, he just snapped "You better make breakfast in the next hour!" and left.

So, this meant I'd have to clean the other half of the living room later. I sighed and went to the kitchen. To my surprise, Mammon was there, sitting on the tiny round table that I found in an unused room and dragged in (it was perfect for studying).

"What are you doing?"

Mammon ignored me, instead bent over a calculator and what seemed like a hundred pages filled with numerical statistics and bill calculations.

"Umm, I'm making breakfast. Do you want anything?"

Mammon said nothing.

"Fine, dude, whatever." I turned around and began searching through the cupboards. The Varia grabbed whatever they wanted to eat, bought it, and gave it to me. Which meant I didn't have a lot to work with, because they never cared about actual ingredients.

I took out the pancake mix and began cooking. Honestly, out of anything in the whole friggin' universe of breakfast-food, the only thing they really cared about was pancakes.

What I wouldn't give for some raspberry-with-chocolate-sauce-and-whipped-cream waffles right now. But unfortunately, I have no say in grocery-buying.

Actually, how funny is it to think of the Varia at a grocery store? The thought of Xanxus, Levi, or Squalo perusing the aisles made me start giggling. Mammon shot me an annoyed glance for his disturbance.

After about another few minutes the entire kitchen smelled of pancakes. I opened both the door to the kitchen and the door connecting it to the dining room wide open, to let the smell go throughout the castle. What I've learned through experience is that the only way to wake up the Varia is through their nose. That's probably the only way you could wake Xanxus up without him killing somebody.

My own stomach growled. I didn't have anything to eat last night for dinner. But I ignored it and waited. I always have to wait for the Varia to finish eating first before I fill my own stomach. But gradually, I started getting used to the feeling of an empty stomach. Before it was like my stomach had caved in or something; now it was more of a hollow ache.

Squalo returned. "Voooii, is it done yet, woman?"

"No. Cool it and go wait a while."

Squalo growled under his breath and decided to wait by the door, leaning against it with his arms crossed. The coffee I was making made a noise to indicate it was finished. I poured a cup of coffee and passed it to him. More like shoved, but whatever. He took it without saying anything and drank deeply from it.

Bel appeared, yawning sleepily. His blonde hair was sticking up in all directions, and he was staggering slightly. The yawn was the only thing that proved he was awake, otherwise he could be sleepwalking again. He did that often.

"Is breakfast ready yet?" He demanded.

"No."

Lussuria appeared right behind Squalo, a facial mask over his face. Strangely, his sunglasses were placed over the mask. Bobby pins and hairclips were pinning his tuft of green hair aside. "Good morning, Squ!" He sang. Squalo turned to him and choked on his coffee.

"Holy SHIT, Lussuria! Get away from me!"

I tried to hide a smile as I passed Lussuria a cup of coffee as well.

"Oh, thank you so much, Suki-chan, coffee always wakes me up in the morning." Lussuria sang.

"Your _face_ sure woke _me_ up this morning." Squalo muttered, gasping for breath and thumping his chest.

"Hey, are you okay?" I stared at him. "If you want to die, don't do it in the kitchen, okay? I need this space."

"Shut up, woman! Hurry up and make the damn pancakes!"

"Shut up! Why don't you make them yourself?"

"VOOOOIIIIII, DO YOU WANT TO DIE?" His sword blade appeared out of nowhere. I backed away quickly. I didn't really care that I made him mad, since he's always mad, but I didn't want to be on the receiving end of his _Scontro di Squalo_.

Before Squalo could slice me into two, however, a series of wicked-looking knives appeared and buried deep into the cupboard dangerously near Squalo's head.

We both turned to look at Bel, who apparently was now awake. "Ushishishishi," He giggled. "Whoops. Looks like the prince accidentally threw some knives."

Squalo muttered something about crazy brats and knives, but it seemed like he wasn't angry anymore and left. Bel left too, after a glance at my direction (or something).

Did he do that to help me out? Who knew? That kid is a psycho.

"Oh, this is horrible," Lussuria moaned. "We have another mission today, Suki-chan, can you believe it? And here I was thinking I could go and take a peek at the new Versace bag that's been released."

I was flipping pancakes at the time and nearly dropped my spatula. "OH MY GOD! THEY HAVE A NEW VERSACE BAG?"

"YOU DIDN'T KNOW?" Lussuria screeched back.

"OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO FREAK OUT! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Inside of me, the only thing I could think of was _VERSACE BAG VERSACE BAG VERSACE BAG VERSACE BAG_….

"OH MY GOD, HONEY, WE HAVE TO GO CHECK IT OUT LATER!" Lussuria squealed.

"OH MY GOD! LUS-NEE-CHAN, I THINK TOGETHER WE'LL GO PLACES!" I nearly hugged the guy. He's completely awesome!

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIII, SHUT UP WITH THE FREAKING GODDAMN GAY TALK AND GET ME MY PANCAKES!"

Smiling, I did what Squalo said, this time without back talk.

I finally felt that I was making progress with the Varia.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Collapse!

It's been almost two and a half weeks since I've started working for the Varia. And it's been exhausting. Seriously, want to hear how my day goes?

I wake up between two to three to study for about two hours, then I start cleaning the house until the first members wake up, and I'll start making breakfast. I try to find something left over to eat while they eat themselves, and then I clean up after them.

They usually go on missions (assassinations, I assume) at this time, where I can clean some more and maybe do more studying. If they don't, then they laze around the house, picking fights with each other or ordering me to do whatever comes to the top of their head.

Then at around five or six I start making dinner. While they're eating, there's no time for me to make something for myself, so I study again. Then, when they're done, I clean up and eat whatever leftovers they have (if they were really hungry that day, my dinner would be scarce) and then I clean up and study some more until ten, sometimes until almost twelve. Studying is impossibly hard, mostly since it's in all Italian and I'm not THAT good at the language.

So, all in all, I barely have any food all day long and I also sleep only an average of four or five hours.

I thought I could handle it. After all, Sawada Natsuki can handle anything.

But even Sawada Natsuki can't live like this for too long.

It was approximately two and a half weeks since I've begun my work did Squalo notice something was wrong with me.

"Vooooii, woman, what's wrong with you?" He demanded.

"W-what?" I stammered, blinking out of my stupor.

"What do you mean 'what'? You just lost focus in the middle of serving us breakfast!"

"I don't know what you're…." I stifled a huge yawn and failed miserably. "…t-t-t-talking about."

"Ushishishishi, you look sleepy." Bel giggled.

"It's true, honey." Lussuria cooed. "You have the worst bags under your eyes. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!" I insisted stubbornly. "I'm perfectly fine!"

"Oi, trash. Get over here already." Xanxus snapped. I rolled my eyes (with difficulty, because for some reason I really felt like closing them), and moved to give him his plate of pancakes.

For some reason, today the simple ceramic plate of three pancakes seemed to weigh like a ton of bricks. Xanxus' angry red eyes looked down at my arms. "Hey, scum. Why are your hands shaking so much?"

I looked down. My arms, looking strangely thin and unnaturally pale, were shaking from the effort of simply holding up the plate. "They're not." I said quickly, despite my arms betraying me.

Squalo was studying me carefully. "Hey, you brat. Seriously. What the hell is up with you?"

I'M FINE! I wanted to shout that out, maybe along with a few swear words. But all that came out was a hoarse, dry, whispery "…Fine…"

"Maybe she hasn't been sleeping or eating well?" Levi suggested.

"I'm fine, really, I am…" I insisted weakly, but my voice was growing fainter.

"Mu, you look sick enough to go to a hospital." Mammon observed. "Not that I'm paying for the bill if you do."

"Don't need….hospital…" I mumbled. I had no idea what I was talking about. My brain seemed to have dissolved into some sort of thick, foggy mush. I could practically hear the sloshing in my skull. Or was that the ocean? Did the Varia live near the ocean?

"Hey, trash, you're swaying on the spot." Xanxus said, his voice echoing painfully in my noggin.

"It's not me, it's the sea." I insisted.

"Ushishishishishi, the peasant's hallucinating." Bel snickered.

"What have you been eating, anyway?" Lussuria asked curiously.

"…overs…"

"What?"

"Your leftovers….if you have any…."

"VOOOOOOOIIIII, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING THAT FOR?" Squalo demanded.

"I don't have a choice!" I protested weakly. "I don't have time to make food for myself, and I need to study, so I eat whatever you guys leave."

"What are you thinking?" Lussuria scolded me. "A lady shouldn't go scrounging after leftover food like a pig!"

"Yeah, well, this 'lady' has too much stuff to do!" I snapped, the room tilting slightly before going back to normal. "I have to wake up before four o' clock to get going, and I have to study until almost eleven!"

"There's no way a normal human being can survive that long in those conditions." Levi muttered.

"Yeah, well, I can!" I yelled, although my voice wasn't any louder. I couldn't control my voice box properly. "I can handle it, okay? So stop bothering me and let me do my work, like you want!"

"Hey, trash, you're obviously not fit to work right now…" Xanxus said, and I interrupted him. "I said I'm _fine_!"

I shivered as a strange chill rolled up my spine. I had a sudden urge to throw up despite my stomach feeling empty, and for a few seconds the room blurred and swam unfocused in my head. "I'm fine…" I choked out. "You gave me a job, and I'm going to freaking do it!"

With as much strength as I could muster I slammed the plate of pancakes down in front of Xanxus, who was staring at me speechless. I turned around and stomped towards the kitchen door.

Halfway there the entire dining hall suddenly tilted at a 90-degree angle, and suddenly I found myself lying on the floor.

Voices clustered around me.

"VVVOOOOOOIIII, WOMAN!" Squalo's voice was, as always, loud enough to shatter my eardrums.

"Peasant?" Bel's voice floated somewhere over my head, for once his psychotic giggle gone, his voice filled with worry. Wait….worry?

"Is she dead?" Levi's voice said somewhere, followed almost immediately by the unmistakeable sound of knives hitting the walls. "Shut up, octopus. The peasant's just fainted…or something."

"Oh dear, looks like you really put her through the wringer." Lussuria sighed. "How could you? And to such a cute girl, too…."

"No we didn't!" Squalo protested, although he sounded strangely guilty.

My vision faded to black. I was lying lifeless below them, yet they were still arguing and fighting with each other. They were so goddamn noisy, can't they see I'm, like, dying here?

Then I felt the ground disappear beneath me, but instead of falling down I was being lifted up. I gazed through glassy eyes, unseeing, at my hero.

I heard a voice somewhere near my ear, deep, soft yet irritable, muttering what sounded like a curse word followed by "scum", then everything fell silent and I fell into a dark, dark hole.

Kind of like Alice in Wonderland, except, you know, without all the crap inside.

When I woke up, I sure as hell wasn't lying on the floor of the kitchen, or on the dining room floor.

I slowly ran my hands through the fabric beneath me. Soft and silky. It was a bed. I felt the blankets. Warm. I had a pillow, an actual pillow, supporting my head. I almost forgot what a pillow felt like.

I sat up, wincing at the empty pain in my stomach and the hollow ache in my head. I was in a room. It was rather big, with a mirror-and-drawers-combo-hybrid-thing, a closet, and the bed I was lying on.

"VOOOOOOOOIII, YOU'RE UP! IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME, WOMAN!"

I nearly jumped. I didn't notice the door open, and when I did turn around, Squalo was stomping in, holding a tray. He slammed it down on either side of my legs, narrowly missing stabbing my kneecaps.

Squalo threw himself into a stool by the side of the bed and glared at me, obviously in a bad mood for some reason.

"What-"

"Eat. Now."

I stared at the tray. A bowl of chicken noodle soup was placed on it, although it was kind of trickling down the rim of the bowl because Squalo was handling it so forcefully.

"For….me?" My brain wasn't working properly.

"Yes, you! Who the hell else would need freaking soup?" Squalo growled, and I was surprised to see his cheeks were slightly red. He was _embarrassed_?

"Could it be…." I gasped. His bad mood, the soup, his embarrassment…. "Did you make this for me?"

"No! Why would I do that?" He snapped. I stared at him. He made a sound like "Che!" and turned his head. "Whatever. Who else will make food for you? Just eat it."

I picked up the spoon with shaking hands….then stopped. "I can't."

Squalo turned to me, extremely pissed off. "VOOOOOOOOOIIII, WHY CAN'T YOU?"

"Because….." My voice was still weak. "Because _you_ made it, Squalo, and….and there's no way you would just randomly make the soup and…and I can't. I just can't eat it. It's too precious." I felt like crying for some reason. Squalo made this for me. He actually made it. An assassin made me chicken noodle soup. It's like watching a little baby bird hatch out of an egg or something equally sunshine-and-rainbows.

Squalo's face turned a hilariously bright shade of red, something I would have laughed at if I wasn't so dizzy.. "W-whatever! I'll make you more food if you want! Just shut up and eat it already!"

I didn't realize I was starving until I was practically inhaling the soup. Slowly, I felt my arms gain more strength. By the time I was sipping the last spoonful, my hands were no longer shaking.

When I finished, I sighed with content and turned to look at Squalo, who was still careful looking anywhere besides at me.

"Was it…." He muttered, looking pointedly at the edge of the bed. "Was it….good?"

"Yeah!" I beamed at him. "It was delicious. Thanks, Squalo."

"W-WHATEVER!" He roared, grabbing the tray and practically kicking open the door. To our surprise (and with another "VOOOOIIIIII") Lussuria, Levi, Bel, and Mammon tumbled inside the room.

"Peasant, how are you?" Bel grinned. "Ushishishishi, you've slept for almost twenty-seven hours. Oh…." Bel looked at the tray in Squalo's hands and grinned from ear-to-ear. "So it's true, strategy commander. You really did make soup for the peasant?"

"VOOOOOOOOOIII SHUT UP BEL OR I SWEAR I WILL FUCKING CUT OFF YOUR BANGS IN YOUR SLEEP!" Squalo roared, kicking the door open again and stomping away.

"Squ, don't do that!" Lussuria called. "You're going to destroy Suki-chan's room!"

"W-wait. My room?" I gasped.

"Surprise!" Lussuria clapped his hands gleefully. "We realized we never gave you proper accommodation. You poor thing, were you sleeping on the cold kitchen floor all this time?"

"W-well, I was, but, I mean….w-wow, my room! My own room!" I couldn't stop stammering thanks. It was like having all your privileges destroyed and then given back to you again. I couldn't stop smiling.

"Oh, hon, you can't thank me. You have to go thank boss!" Lussuria chirped. "He's the one that carried you to this room, you know. And then he said, 'This room is for our beautiful princess, because she brings so much joy to our otherwise downtrodden and woman-less lives'!"

"Boss didn't say that!" Levi protested.

"Alright, so I'm paraphrasing." Lussuria admitted.

I giggled, then hesitantly climbed out of the bed.

"Hey, peasant. Are you okay to walk?" Bel asked, looking worried.

"I can make an illusion to temporarily free you from any pain." Mammon offered, then added "For a fee, of course. But since you're sick, I'll make it light."

"Thanks for your offer and all, but I should stretch out my legs." I smiled. "I feel great, really." It's a wonder what chicken noodle soup can do, also it was kind of cute to see them all bustling around me like bees. Or ants. Wait….what was that phrase again?

Xanxus was in his office drinking as usual when suddenly the door burst open. He turned around to see that Sawada Natsuki trash.

"What?" He demanded.

Natsuki took a deep breath and bowed deeply. "Thank you very much for giving me the room! I promise I'll work extra hard from now on! Please continue to take care of me!"

She straightened up, practically beaming.

Xanxus was amazed how a good long rest and a bit of soup (if that trash shark really did make some for her) could do. Her warm brown eyes were bright with unrestrained joy, her cheeks flushed with new life. He really wanted to pick up his gun and, just for the sake that she shared the same last name as Sawada Tsunayoshi, blow her brains out.

But for some reason, he didn't lift a finger. Hm, maybe he was too lazy.

"What are you doing so happy all of a sudden, trash?" He grumbled. Happiness made him feel sick. "Don't get so excited just because those other trash showed you some kindness. They're doing it out of guilt, it's not like it will become a daily occurrence or anything."

"I know." Natsuki said, to his surprise. "But I came here because Nono wanted me to change the Varia a little for the better." She grinned and laughed a little. "And I did! The Varia actually took care of me. Squalo actually cooked for me!"

"Che, whatever." Xanxus sipped his wine. "Hurry up and go already." She always got on his nerves, yet he still didn't shoot her.

Natsuki just grinned. "Oh, yeah, thanks for carrying me too. You must have looked pretty cool!"

Xanxus turned to look at her.

"You guys took care of me. I promise I'll take really good care of you too!"

Then she skipped away. _Skipped_.

Xanxus wanted to hurl. But then he remembered the way Natsuki smiled at him, and instead of blasting a hole in the wall out of annoyance (or throwing something at his trash-shark commander), he felt an unfamiliar warmness rise inside of him.

He fought it down by drowning his entire glass of wine in one gulp.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Shopping

So, Xanxus was right, in a way. The Varia definitely did not make any more chicken noodle soup for me, probably because the only one who knew how to make it was Squalo, and he might die from embarrassment if he had to cook it again. But they didn't order me around so much, and they didn't order me to do ridiculous things.

As for me, I tried to be nicer. Sort of. But they still knew how to bring out my Inner B.S. (Inner Bad Side, in case you didn't remember. Could also stand for Inner Bull Shit, but whatever), and then all hell would ensue. Usually, Squalo was the one to piss me off, but occasionally Xanxus would make some sort of comment to irritate me.

Life was more peaceful. And a bit different.

For example: the next day, I served them dinner as usual. It was a bit different, their placement, I mean. Xanxus, being the boss, sat on one end of the dining table, like, you know, the 'head of the family' seat. Usually, Squalo sat to Xanxus' left, and Levi to his right. This time, however, Levi and Lussuria were moved down one seat, leaving an empty spot by Xanxus. An extra plate was set up. Were they expecting a guest?

My stomach was growling because I had once again missed lunch, and I quickly covered the sound by clanging the plate of beef down as loudly as possible. I could have sworn I saw Squalo and Xanxus look at me just slightly, but they said nothing.

Only when I was about to leave did Xanxus suddenly grab my arm (so hard it could have snapped, I mean, really, I'm frail here) and twist it with such force I collapsed….into a chair.

A chair right next to Xanxus, actually. The empty spot.

"W-wait, what…?" I started to stammer.

"Shut up and eat." Xanxus said grumpily.

Then I realized this was their way of making sure I don't starve again. I didn't know if it was out of guilt, kindness, or the fact they really had no use for a starving servant, but ever since then, I've ate with the Varia at the dining table.

Which would have been really cute, if they weren't so goddamn crazy.

It was Friday, which was without doubt one of the worst days of the week, including Saturday and Sunday. Friday was the day they all insisted on having a 'day off' which really made no sense considering they didn't have much work to do anyways.

But Fridays were the day they all drank. Even Bel, which I still don't approve of, because that kid's only sixteen.

"He's underage!" I protested to Squalo one time.

"So what?" Was my harsh answer. "The kid's a fucking assassin, nobody gives a damn whether he drinks or not."

So I never really brought up the subject again. Squalo was sometimes too smart for his own good.

But Fridays, especially uneventful Fridays, were the worst.

Because it meant someone was going to get jumped. Usually it was Xanxus who would go on a rampage and either blast holes in the wall or throw stuff at Squalo, which was quite entertaining.

This time, it was me.

"Honey~!" Lussuria sang. "We're going shopping!"

"We are?" Well, that wasn't so bad. "Wait, why?"

"Because you have been wearing the exact same clothes for more than two weeks now, darling, and frankly, I want to die."

It's actually incredible how flamboyant gay men could somehow warp the topic of someone else's attire and twist it around to make it all about them.

"So, we're going shopping! I haven't gone shopping in ages, because really, it's so boring when it's just me, and no one else will come along!" Lussuria pouted, then grinned evilly, his sunglasses catching a flash of the light above. "You'll come help me bring them along, won't you?"

So, somehow, within an hour, we managed to get everyone to come. Mammon (because he wanted to see exactly how much money Lussuria was planning on spending), Bel (because he apparently wants to see me wear something more 'revealing', honestly what's with that kid), Squalo (who got bullied by both Lussuria and I, and it wasn't until Lussuria threatened to sneak into his room in the middle of the night did he agree), Xanxus (because he was bored as hell and also because he's already downed three bottles of tequila), and Levi (because Xanxus was going).

I was practically jumping up and down in my excitement. I haven't been outside in ages. I ran out and breathed in the crisp, fresh air, something not even opening a window could achieve. The wind blew at my hair and whipped my face, adding a redness to my pale skin.

Lussuria was driving, and Xanxus got the front seat to himself (something he didn't even have to call shotgun for). This meant that Squalo, Levi, Mammon, Bel, and I had to find some way to squish into the back seat.

"You have got to be joking me." Squalo said brusquely. "We can't fit. Levi and his stupid umbrellas are going to take up the entire back seat by himself."

"Ushishishishi, how about we lock you into the trunk, commander?" Bel snickered. I caught a flash of Xanxus smirking, and it seemed like Bel's comment won his approval. He was already sitting in the front, arms crossed, another bottle of tequila in his hand.

"Oh, hurry up already, you guys! I don't want to be late!" Lussuria whined.

"Shut your trap!" Squalo snapped. "Why couldn't we all go in separate cars?"

The reason was all Xanxus' fault. Apparently, he got so pissed off at some of the grunts he blew up the garage. Therefore, all that was left was the car they had to ride in.

Levi got shoved inside, then Squalo pushed Bel in, then he went in.

"Ushishishi, there's no room for the peasant." Bel cackled.

"Umm, it's okay!" I stammered. "I could, you know, take a bus or something, I guess…"

"Nonsense, honey!" Lussuria screeched. "You're the entire reason why we're doing this. Sit on Squ-chan's lap or something."

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" Squalo shouted, turning beet red. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING, LUSSURIA?"

"Shut up, trash." Xanxus added from the front, sounding more and more annoyed. I knew he hated waiting most of all, and his patience was wearing thin.

Mammon floated in and settled himself comfortably on the floor of the car. They still continued bickering about my seating arrangements. Bel seemed pretty comfortable with the idea of me sitting on someone's lap (he suggested his, to my embarrassment), but Squalo refused point-blank.

I stood there, off to the side, hesitantly, until I heard an unmistakeable low oath. Then the passenger door slammed open, a hand reached out, grabbed my wrist, and yanked me inside.

Squalo and Bel's bickering stopped and they stared.

"There." Xanxus said, his voice low with irritation. "Problem solved. Get a fucking move on, Lussuria."

"Okey-dokey!" Lussuria giggled, glancing at me with an evil grin. I flushed red and glared at him. I was in a strange, awkward position because I was sitting sideways on Xanxus' lap, something I was sure he wouldn't have agreed on if he hadn't drank so much tequila. It was a big weird and highly embarrassing (although strangely, it wasn't uncomfortable) , but I didn't move an inch. I was pretty sure he might throw me through the windshield or something.

"Let's get going!" Lussuria sang, starting the car.

And that's when things got _really_ scary.

"!" I screamed as Lussuria shot out of the long driveway, did a rather impressive 180-degree turn, and sped through the dark forests. All within, like, ten seconds.

"OOMMIIIIGOOOOOOOD!" I shrieked in fright. Unconsciously, I wrapped my arms around the first thing that I saw….which turned out to be Xanxus' neck.

"Oi. Trash." He growled.

"Sorry, sorry!" I yelped, quickly releasing him and looking away. Oh my god, I'm pretty sure my face is still red.

Lussuria did a sharp turn, nearly turning the car on two wheels, and the unfortunate Varia members in the back swore loudly as they crashed into each other. I nearly slammed my back into the passenger door, but Xanxus quickly blocked me from the painful collision. I winced when I smelled the tequila on his breath.

"Hey, are you drunk?" I asked him curiously. He was being way too nice to me.

"Shut up." He advised me grumpily. "Be glad I drank all that tequila, trash." As if to prove his point, he took a huge swig from the bottle in his hand, not spilling a drop even as Lussuria went way past the appropriate speed on the highway.

"You're going to have the worst hangover tomorrow." I mused.

"I said shut _up_."

"VOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII, LUSSURIA! SLOW DOWN!" Squalo hollered from the back seat. Within the confinements of the car, everyone flinched as his voice exceeded even the eruption of Krakatoa, the loudest sound in history.

Lussuria gave a girly, crazy giggle and drove even faster.

By the time Lussuria parked in the parking lot to the nearest outlet district, we were all desperate to get out of the car. I jumped out of the seat gratefully and stretched.

Xanxus grumbled again as he got out of the car, but strangely he didn't seem as affected as the rest of us. Either he was really used to Lussuria's horrendous driving, or he was simply too drunk to care. The empty tequila bottle proved it.

He realized the bottle was empty and swore and aimed for Squalo's head, who yelled and ducked in time. The bottle smashed into a nearby car, covering it with tiny scratches. I winced, silently apologising to the poor owner of that car.

"Let's go, darling, let's go!" Lussuria squealed, beside himself with excitement. I couldn't help but smile too.

Lussuria dragged me into the first store he saw, then proceeded to grab clothes after clothes off the rack, with frequent cries of "Honey, this is _so_ you!" or "You have to try this on, please!"

The rest of the Varia stayed grumpily on the sidelines. Bel looked like he wanted to knife something, Squalo looked irritated, and Xanxus….well, Xanxus looked tipsy. That's it.

Lussuria pushed me into one of the change rooms, then threw piles of clothes inside as well. "Try them all on!"

"All of them?"

"Yes! Please, please, please! I'm sure the boys will love it!"

I grinned again. Poor Lussuria. He's probably never had anyone he could go shopping with. I tried to imagine Lussuria dragging Squalo around to shop, and I had to admit, it was pretty horrifying.

The first thing I tried on was a short cocktail dress, crimson red.

"Let me see you, honey!"

I sighed and walked out.

"You look soooo _kee-yoot_!" Lussuria squealed, grabbing my hands, then pulling me to the others. "What do you think? Isn't she pretty?"

"Whatever." Squalo grumbled, looking away. Mammon ignored everyone, eying the cash registers greedily. Bel grinned. "Ushishishishishi, the peasant looks good in red." Then he added, "Of course, blood would be good too." Okay….what the hell?

Levi said nothing, his attention focused wholly on his boss. Xanxus glared at me, and for a split second I could have sworn he looked me up and down. Then he just looked away, which was enough approval Lussuria needed.

"They love it!" Lussuria squealed. "Go on, try on something else!"

You can pretty much tell what we did all day long. Lussuria bought just about everything he thought I needed (or wanted to see me wear). He even bought me underwear, much to everyone's embarrassment, including mine (except for Xanxus, because really, that guy is way too drunk to care).

Finally, we were down to our last shop and our last clothing. Mammon had finally put his little baby foot down (figure of speech) and told Lussuria we can only buy one set of clothes from this store. I think Lussuria's lavish spree just scarred the poor money-obsessed Arcobaleno for life.

"I don't know…." I muttered desperately, staring at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a pink dress that floated down me like little waves of ruffles. In one hand I also held another dress, this one electric blue and a bit more adventurous. But then again, I've always rocked the Lolita look.

"Ooh, I wish we could buy them both!" Lussuria sighed dramatically, peeking at Mammon. "Couldn't we-"

"No."

"Which one?" I mumbled to myself. "This one? This one?" I stared hard at the mirror, then turned to Squalo, who was nearest to me. "Do you think this pink dress makes me look fat?"

"VOOOOOII, WHO THE HELL CARES? JUST PICK A DAMN OUTFIT SO WE CAN GO!" Squalo was down to his last nerve. A muscle was twitching in his jaw.

I ignored him and turned to Bel. He just grinned and offered to cut away the ruffles if I didn't like them. "I might accidentally slice you too, though." He added, grinning.

Mammon said nothing. He was eying the humongous bags stuffed with clothes from all the stores we went into.

I turned to Levi, who said "Whatever the boss says."

Rolling my eyes, I turned to Xanxus. "Whatever, trash. Pick a fucking outfit so we can go."

"But you don't understand!" I protested in exasperation. "I _can't_ pick, that's why I'm asking!"

Everyone turned to Xanxus. Squalo looked like he was going to kill himself if he saw another dress. It all depended on the boss' words.

Swearing like a sailor, he grabbed my wrist and practically dragged me out the store. He ripped off the tag so the sensors wouldn't start beeping and threw it at the baffled worker at the paying line. "The other trash will pay for it." He said, then pulled me out of the store.

"Wait, wait! Xanxus! I don't have _shoes_!" I complained.

"Is that my problem, trash?" Xanxus scowled at me, and I scowled back. My good mood was gone.

Then he let go of my wrist and clutched his head, wincing in pain. Looks like the tequila were starting to take effect. I wished him a slow and painful migraine, or at least a killer headache.

Xanxus scowled at the Sun, which was apparently too bright for his intoxicated self despite the fact it was setting and half-hidden behind the buildings.

"Look, you fucking annoying, pathetic, scummy piece of trash." Xanxus said, not looking at me but scowling anyway. "You look pretty in everything, that's why nobody gives a shit what you buy. So give us all a break and let us go home already."

The rest of the Varia appeared. Lussuria looked like he had the time of his life, Squalo and Levi were swearing as they were the unlucky suckers roped into carrying all the bags, and Bel snickered as he watched them, his arms over behind his head.

Lussuria, thank god, remembered to get my shoes from the dressing room, and I put them on gratefully. But as we went back to the car for Lussuria's Road Trip of Horror round two, this time I insisted on riding in the back, which meant Bel had to lie on the floor of the car as we took care not to step on him (actually, Bel seemed to enjoy being down there, and Squalo tried to step on him as much as possible, but whatever).

The reason this time was because I was still freaking out a bit about what Xanxus said.

Despite all the other crap he said, and no matter how drunk he was when he said it….Xanxus, _the_ Xanxus of the Varia…..he called me _pretty_.

A/N: Hey, it's me! So someone was asking me about Natsuki's character, and I admit she's pretty confusing. One second she hates them, the other she's all buddy-buddy?

Okay, let's put it this way: Natsuki is nice when she wants to be and evil when she wants to be. She appreciates kindness people give her, but if they irritate her too much she goes all Inner B.S. and turns into a foul-mouthed psychopath. Ha ha, how's that?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: _Fidanzato_

**A/N: Hey guys, it's Otaku-chama again. Hehe. But anyway, I've been reading a lot of fanfics lately and I've realized I haven't done any disclaimers. So I guess I should do some now.**

**Okay, so Disclaimer: I do not own KHR, unfortunately. If I did, well….ehehehe :3**

…**..Oh come on, if YOU owned KHR you would do that too….**

**Anyway, on with the show! Fan fic….whatever….**

**Oh yeah, BTW, do NOT google what the title of this chapter means. I explain it in the story. Trust me, it's cuter this way.**

Squalo, as usual, was the first one up. It was either him or Mammon that went into my kitchen first.

"Make me breakfast, woman." Squalo demanded, his usual way of greeting me.

"Good morning, sharkie. And make your own breakfast once in a while." I said, my usual way of greeting him.

"Shut your mouth, woman. I could fire you and kill you right now." Squalo said, his usual way of greeting my usual way of greeting his usual way of greeting. You get the picture.

Funnily enough, he never says it with much conviction. No wonder I sass him so much.

"We need to go shopping." I say as I pour pancake batter into a pan.

The reaction was hilarious. He choked on his coffee, shivered, and then winced horribly. "Do Not. Ever. Fucking. Mention. Shopping. AGAIN."

"Sorry, sorry!" I fought back a laugh. He was probably still traumatized by dresses. "I meant, you know, _grocery_ shopping."

"We do buy groceries!" Squalo said hotly.

"Not the groceries I _need_, idiot!" I replied back. "You have no idea how to cook, do you? Well, besides, soup."

His cheeks turned slightly pink. "Do not mention that ever again."

"I'll mention it however many times I see fit, dude." I said calmly back, ignoring my inner conscience who was whispering in my ear that it was unwise to piss off an assassin.

To my surprise, Squalo didn't take out his sword. Instead, he slumped into a chair and hunched his shoulders. "I didn't make it." He muttered.

"You made it."

"I didn't."

"You did."

"I didn't."

"Look, who else here would make that soup?"

"….Just don't mention it again."

"Do you want maple syrup on your pancakes?"

* * *

><p>"Hey, Xanxus, can I go shopping?"<p>

Just like Squalo's reaction, nearly everyone either dropped whatever they're holding or choked. Lussuria just looked delighted.

Xanxus turned to glare at me. He still hadn't recovered from his headache or hangover. "You just went fucking shopping, trash."

"I mean grocery shopping!" I insisted. "You guys don't know what to buy. If I could get the ingredients, I could make much better food. For instance, I could make waffles or sausages or eggs for breakfast instead of these crappy-ass instant pancake mix."

Xanxus hesitated. I knew my offer was tempting. He always complained about the pancakes (even though he ate them anyway), because honestly, after a while pancakes lose their flavour.

"….Fine, scum, whatever. But someone has to go with you." Xanxus snapped.

"I can't, boss." Lussuria whined. "I have a mission with Levi and Mammon in Iceland."

"Ushishishishi," Bel giggled. "Commander and the prince are going to Rome."

There was a long silence.

"Well, looks like you have to come along, Xanxus." I said brightly.

"Fuck that. I'm not going anywhere."

"Then you're disobeying your own orders, which means you'll have to shoot yourself with your own X-Guns." I smirked triumphantly. I noticed the corners of Squalo's mouth were twitching. He really enjoyed watching Xanxus get powned by me.

Xanxus turned to glare at me. I stared innocently back.

Silence.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Squalo finally spoke up.

"Quiet, fool!" I made flapping motions with my hands in his general direction without breaking eye contact with Xanxus, signifying the universal _I want you to shut the fuck up dude because currently I'm too busy with something else to bother looking at you and saying it directly_ move. "We're having a staring contest."

Finally, Xanxus looked away and muttered a stream of curses under his breath. Then he stood up and left the room.

"I WON!" I yelled after him. I heard something expensive crash into a wall in response.

"I wonder why boss hasn't killed you yet, peasant?" Bel grinned.

"Because I'm just that fabulous, prince boy, I'm just that fabulous."

* * *

><p>Xanxus still had a killer headache. And now he had to be forced out of his comfortable throne-chair by that goddamn Sawada Natsuki woman and dragged into a common grocery store.<p>

Like hell. He was sitting here.

Of course, he knew that woman had other plans.

"BOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" She screamed, practically kicking the door down. "WE'RE GOING SHOPPING~~~~!"

"Fuck off." He growled.

"Don't be a douche, Xanxus. Let's go."

"I said _fuck off_, scum."

"But you promised!" She whined, giving me a puppy-dog, pouting face.

"Do the words 'X-Guns' mean anything to you, trash? It means I have two fucking pistols on me and I'm not afraid to shoot them if I want to."

"But…." And here was when Xanxus knew he was beaten. Yes, beaten. By a _girl_.

It was when her voice dropped down to a soft whimper, and she looked sad and forlorn. "But you promised…."

_Don't give in Don't give in Don't give in Don't give in Don't give in_…..

Xanxus face palmed himself weakly and growled. "Five minutes. We're leaving in five. Fucking. Minutes."

"Really? You're coming?" She squealed. "YAY! I love you Xanxus! You're the best! Five minutes!" She sped out of the room before Xanxus could seriously consider shooting her.

God damn it, why couldn't he resist her when she looked so sad?

"It's this goddamn hangover." Xanxus muttered to console himself. He staggered out of his chair with another round of cursing.

* * *

><p>I got him to go. HURRAY! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES! I POWN ALL KINDS OF ASS!<p>

Even better, Xanxus was still hung over and headachy and he was in no mood to drive, meaning he slept in the passenger seat while I was behind the wheel of a gorgeous, sexy-red Lamborghini convertible.

I was dying in Fancy Car Heaven.

When there was a red light, I put on my gorgeous Dior sunglasses (supplied by Lussuria, obviously), and looked cool as everyone all over the street gawked. Maybe Lamborghinis really did come from Fancy Car Heaven, because I could have sworn some people were down on their knees and worshipping my awesome car-ness.

I took a peek at Xanxus. Even though I would never admit it, like ever, out loud….he looked really cute when he was sleeping. He still frowned, but the constant angriness in his face was gone. He looked….softer, somehow. Even his scars seemed less harsh.

When I realized I was more or less ogling at a sleeping guy, I quickly snapped back into focus, right in time for the light to turn green.

Finally, we reached the grocery store. I parked, stopped the car, then turned to Xanxus, who was still fast asleep. Poor guy. Now that he wasn't being an assbag, I actually felt kind of bad for dragging him with me while he wasn't feeling well.

I gently poked his arm, kind of worried he might break my neck if I woke him up. "Xanxus, we're here. You can wake up now."

_Poke_. "Xanxus."

_Poke. Poke._ "Xaaaaaaaanxus."

_Poke. Poke…Poke. Poke._ "."

_Poke. Poke….._

_POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE_-

"God damn it, woman! I'm up!" Xanxus snarled, grabbing my finger before I could poke him again.

"Sorry." I grimaced. I got too carried away with the poking. "Can you let go of my finger, please? I have a feeling you might break it."

"I just might, scum." He snarled, but he let go anyway.

"Would someone try to steal the car?" I turned to look at the gorgeous Lamborghini, which made all the other boring-ass cars around it seem to shrink. You could spot that baby a mile away.

"They wouldn't if they aren't total fucking retards." Xanxus said smugly. "The Varia symbol is on the back of the car."

Sure enough, it was.

"Dude, you act like you're in a gang or something."

"Shut up, trash. Let's get this over with."

Surprisingly, I enjoyed shopping with him. Mostly because he said nothing (except the occasional cursing), but when I asked for his opinion he answered me honestly.

The only problem was he was the biggest brat ever.

"We're not getting mushrooms."

"Why not?" I demanded.

"Because I don't like mushrooms." He said calmly.

"Look, just because you don't doesn't mean everyone else can't ea-"

He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer, then leaned in close. To anyone else, we'd probably just look like a couple (that made me blush a bit). But really, he was gripping my shoulder way too tight. I could have sworn I heard something crack.

"I don't like fucking mushrooms." He hissed at me. "So we're not getting any fucking mushrooms. Got it?"

He leaned away.

"You're a real spoiled picky eater, aren't you?" I decided.

He froze. "Excuse me?"

"You're a picky eater. And you're spoiled?"

He scowled. I could have sworn he looked slightly embarrassed. "So what if I'm a picky eater?"

"It means you're being a big baby." I tossed the mushrooms into the cart anyway. "If you don't like them, don't eat them. Doesn't mean I won't use them for something else."

Xanxus scowled, but strangely enough he didn't kill me. That was comforting.

"Besides, you've never had my chive-mushroom-Panini-wrap before, have you? It's really good, I swear you'll like it." I assured him. "And I can also make you a really good sauce that goes with steak. You like steak, don't you? And if you want, we can stop by the liquor store and get you some more tequila. I've noticed it's been running low lately."

"Okay, whatever." Xanxus pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "Just get on with it already."

He followed me silently. Everything was going quite smoothly, until-

"FREE SAMPLES!" I nearly screamed.

"What?" Xanxus stared blankly at me.

"HOLY CRAP! FREE SAMPLES!" Completely forgetting myself, I grabbed Xanxus' hand and pulled him towards the sample station. I am practically married to free samples. Who doesn't want free food?

"_Ciao, signora_." The sample station lady smiled at me.

"_Hola_." I said breezily. "What are you cooking, lady?"

"_Bistecca_. Steak."

"Look, Xanxus! Steak! You like steak!" I grabbed one and ate it. Holy-mother-of-all-that's-holy-giving-birth-to-a-litter-of-flying-baby-Jesus-pigs, it was the best steak I've ever had. Even better than the ones I make.

"_Zia_, you have to tell me how you made this." I said, affectionately calling her 'auntie'.

The lady smiled at my exuberance and started to explain to me. Xanxus finally got interested and moved closer next to me. "Is it really steak?"

"Yeah, it is!" I grabbed one by its toothpick and gave it to him. He ate it, and considering he didn't spit it out, he must have liked it.

"_Zia_, we'll take ten of these." I grabbed a whole armful and threw them into the cart. The sample lady looked astonished, but didn't mind.

"_Addio, signora!_ Goodbye!" The sample lady called, waving after me as I grabbed Xanxus' arm with one hand and the grocery cart in the other and pulled them both away. "I hope you and your _fidanzato_ have a good dinner!"

"Thanks! We will!" I waved back. Then I turned around and froze. Xanxus froze too and we turned to stare at each other.

I slowly removed my hand from his arm. Then I turned around and, blushing furiously, I practically ran to a cashier.

We didn't speak much the ride home. When I turned to Xanxus, even _he_ looked kind of red. Not that I stared this time or anything, I felt too embarrassed and kind of weird. There was this strange fluttering in my stomach. What's it called? Butterflies? Yeah, that.

_Fidanzato_ means 'boyfriend' in Italian.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: A Wonderful Journey

"My _romance_ senses are tingling~~!" Lussuria sang.

I choked on whatever food was in my mouth, and I could have sworn Xanxus stiffened up.

I coughed for a good minute or so before calmly wiping my mouth, turning to Lussuria, and saying politely, "I beg your pardon?"

It was then that Lussuria stood up, slammed his hands on the table with a loud _BANG_, and effectively scared the shit out of me. "DON'T LIE TO ME HONEY! WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND THE BOSS WHILE WE WERE GONE?"

There was a long ringing silence, punctured only when Xanxus threw his glass of tequila at Lussuria's head (who ducked in time). "Shut. The fuck. Up. Trash."

Wow, he must have been really pissed. He liked that tequila.

I felt my face flame up instantly, which didn't help the situation at all.

"VOOOOOOOOOOIIII! SO YOU _DID_ DO SOMETHING WITH THE BOSS!" Squalo yelled.

Xanxus' plate of stew came next. This one hit, and Squalo was covered in the thick soup (which, in case you're retarded, is basically stew).

"VOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?"

Squalo grabbed his own bowl of stew and hurled it at Xanxus. Levi jumped up onto the table. "I will protect the boss!"

Chaos ensued.

"Ushishishishi, let's fight!" Bel giggled, jumping up too while his knives appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh dear, now Suki-chan will have to clean this all up." Lussuria sighed, seemingly oblivious to the shit he created.

"Luss-nee-chan, this is all your fault." I accused the flamboyant, lovable gay bitch. He smirked smugly at me, his sunglasses flashing. "Honey, there's tension in the air between you and the boss. Romaaaaaaaaantic tension-"

Xanxus threw a plate at Lussuria's head.

More chaos ensued. It was an all-out food fight.

I hid under the table, and I was surprised to see Xanxus was comfortably sitting under there too, resuming his plate of steak, as though it was perfectly normal to be sitting cross-legged under the table while several childish maniacs threw food at each other above you.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Shut it, trash." Was his answer. "I don't want to get my clothes dirty, and I have no interest in the trash's food fight. Got a problem with that?"

"Not really, but…..I'm hungry." My own portion of stew was probably splattered along the wall by now.

There was a long silence. I stared at Xanxus, and he tried to ignore me. Tried to.

Finally, he gritted his teeth, swore under his breath, and viciously stabbed his steak, separating it into halves. He stabbed one and then handed it to me. "Take it, trash."

"Thank you." I pulled the steak off of the fork and ate it. It really was good. I loved that sample lady.

"You know, you can be really nice when you're not being a dick." I said by way of making conversation.

He smirked. "And you can be really nice when you're not being an annoying bitch."

That started it. I grinned. "Well then, you can be pretty hot if you're not being a total assbag about everything."

He actually seemed to consider what I was saying, then turned to me and leaned in closer. "You can be really pretty when you're….." Then he stopped and stared at me. For a long time.

It wasn't until I felt it was getting extremely uncomfortable did he lean back and resume eating. "Never mind. You're always pretty."

.

.

.

.

.

I think I just died a little bit on the inside…..

_Oh shut up, you would too if you were in MY shoes._

"That's a little bit OOC of you, Xanxus." I said. I mean, he doesn't always compliment me like this.

"I don't know what the hell that means, and I don't care, trash." He said, sounding a bit like his old self. But he seemed to enjoy talking to me.

"Were you embarrassed?" I blurted out.

"What?"

"Were you embarrassed when that sample lady said, you know…." I swallowed. "That you were my b-boyfriend?"

Xanxus looked at me for a split second, then looked the other way and started to eat again. Silence.

"Dude, I can't keep up a one-sided conversation here. Will you please answer me?"

Exasperated, he slammed his plate down on the ground. "Yes."

"Yes, as in 'Yes, I was embarrassed' or 'Yes, I will answer'?" I said, irritated.

He smirked at me. "Depends."

"You're idiotic."

"And you're annoying."

"I can't believe you're actually competing in an insult-fest with me. Usually only Squalo will do that, since he's an idiot. Are you drunk again?" He's always more violent to the others and nicer to me when he's drunk.

"Probably. I drank a bottle of tequila before coming down for dinner. That shit is powerful."

"It make sense." In a way, though, I felt kind of sad. Was this guy only ever going to be kind or at least civil to me when he's hammered?

"I'm not shitfaced, if that's what you're thinking. In fact, I'm barely even tipsy."

"Le gasp, dude! How did you know what I was thinking?" I gasped.

"I don't." He said smugly, smirking slightly. "You're just really easy to read."

"Am not!"

"Are so."

"Am not!"

"Are so."

"AM NOT!"

"Look, trash, we can go on forever, but either way, I can tell what you're thinking." Xanxus seemed to enjoy pissing me off.

Finally, the noise ceased. It seemed like they had finally run out of food to throw at each other. I crawled out and stared in horror at the carnage.

"FUCKSOCKS!"

Xanxus, who also straightened up from under the table, looked at me and frowned. "Did that trash just say 'Fucksocks'?"

"Yes…." Everyone stared at me. I continued ranting.

"FUCKSOCKS! WHAT THE FUCKSOCKS IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IT ON THE FUCKSOCKING _CEILING_?"

"Well, that is a good question…." Bel snickered.

"THERE'S NO WAY IN FUCKSOCKS I'M CLEANING THIS UP BY MYSELF! I HAVE STUDYING TO DO!" I turned to glare at them all. "Help me."

"I'm a prince." Bel said quickly.

"And I'm a maid. Shut up and help me."

"Cleaning isn't my style," Lussuria whined.

"Once again, _fucksocks_. Help the maid, Luss-nee-chan."

"Screw that! I'm not cleaning up!" Squalo scoffed.

"I'll cut your hair in the middle of the night, sharkie. Don't think I won't."

Squalo paled. "You wouldn't." He knew that I knew of his loyal oath to Xanxus or whatever. I kind of lost track in the middle of the explanation. It had something to do with his hair, though. And that he could never cut it until Xanxus became the boss. Actually, considering the rings rejected Xanxus and it didn't look like there was any way he'd become the boss anytime soon….Squalo might have Rapunzel hair by the time this is all over. I almost started to laugh, but quickly returned to the mass murder of stew at hand.

"I would."

"You wouldn't."

I raised an eyebrow at him, all badass-like. "You want to bet?"

Squalo growled but said no more. He valued his hair too much. Prissy.

"Muu, you'll have to pay me." Mammon sighed.

"I will do what the boss orders me to!" Levi said.

I turned to Xanxus. He was giving me a bitch-don't-you-dare-ask-me glare, and I hesitated.

"You can go, Xanxus."

"YOU'RE NOT ASKING HIM?" Squalo roared in outrage. Half of the reason he agreed was because he wanted to see Xanxus do housework for once.

"He wasn't the one throwing food around like some whiny toddler brat." I snickered. Squalo muttered obscenities under his breath. Xanxus smirked and left.

"Okay, so first things first, everyone get the cutlery and shit and put them in the sink. I'll spare you the agony of washing and drying them and I'll do it myself. Bel, I need you to get several mops and sponges and buckets of water and all that."

"Do I have to?" Bel huffed. "The prince does not take orders from menial servants!"

I looked him straight in the eye. Or tried to anyway, his bangs weren't helping. "That was _before_ this menial servant had access to whatever you eat. I could make your mealtime a living hell if you DO NOT FOLLOW MY ORDERS!"

Bel hunched his shoulders, muttering sullenly to himself as he rushed off to obey me. I snickered.

"So you do have an evil side." Squalo grumbled as he grabbed mush-smeared plates and put them into the kitchen sink as instructed.

"Only when you guys really piss me off." I pulled at Squalo's hair affectionately. "Ooh, it really is soft! Lussuria was right!"

"Vooooiii, what the hell, woman? Don't touch my hair!" Squalo yelped, twisting away. "What do you think I am? A doll?"

"You have the hair of one." I snapped back, grinning at his flustered and embarrassed (and incredibly pissed) expression.

"Jesus….if only you and the boss didn't have something going on I would totally kill you right now….."

My face turned bright red again. "W-what? We don't have anything going on! What the hell are you talking about?"

Squalo smirked at me. Shit, now he knew how to bother me. He had leverage.

"Voooiii, Lussuria!" He called out to the flamboyant martial arts expert.

"Yes, Squ-chan?" He said brightly.

"What was that song? That really annoying, shitty-ass song you sing to bother a couple?"

"Oh, yes, that's right!" Lussuria giggled. "_SUKI-CHAN AND BOSSU SITTIN' IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G….._"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, LUSSURIA!" I screeched. This was so embarrassing. I was twenty-fucking-two years old and I was getting humiliated by guys with a childish elementary-school song.

"_FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE….._"

Squalo couldn't stop laughing. Bel returned to catch the rest of the song and grinned his Cheshire Cat grin at me.

"_THEN COMES A BABY IN A BABY CARRIAGE….._I don't know the rest."

"Is there a rest of the song?" Bel asked curiously.

"Not that I know of, Bel-chan." Lussuria shrugged his shoulders.

"Will you guys SHUT UP and help me already?" I yelled, feeling incredibly flustered. Why the heck did it bother me so much?

* * *

><p>Actually, unbeknownst to the others, the Varia member's childish teasing was bothering Xanxus too.<p>

Or maybe it really was the tequila going to his head.

Xanxus leaned back in his chair, a fresh glass in his hand, fingering his raccoon tail mindlessly. Sure, he played it cool when Natsuki asked him, but when that sample station woman actually called him her boyfriend, Xanxus felt every bit as embarrassed as she was. He was just better at hiding it (he had to admit, she looked so funny when she blushed).

Why did he care so much? Actually, why didn't he kill that woman for even daring to suggest a woman like Natsuki was his girlfriend?

_You've grown soft_, a voice hissed in his ear. Irritated, he pushed the voice away by taking a huge gulp out of his glass. The voice kept on nagging him.

_The reason why you didn't kill that stupid trash was because Natsuki so obviously liked that woman…..she would have been devastated if you killed her right in front of her….._

"I don't give a shit about what that trash thinks!" Xanxus snarled to himself, drinking deeply again. Great. Now he was talking to himself.

_Liar…..you're a liar…..you don't want Natsuki to be upset, do you…..you __**care**__…._

Xanxus desperately wished he could shoot his inner self with his X-Guns, but even he wasn't stupid enough to try that. So the irritating trash-voice kept on talking.

_Why bother hiding it…..she's __**different**__ to you…..why is it you always feel like talking to her…._

"She's….interesting….that's all." Xanxus muttered to himself stubbornly. He refused to think he cared about ANYONE. Even his own father, Nono, he didn't really give a shit about. That much was clear considering he was okay with locking his foster father inside a giant mechanical monster that feeds off of life energy.

That Sawada Natsuki trash-woman was doing something to the Varia. Xanxus didn't know if it was good or bad, but either way, she managed to make both their great boss embarrassed and convince them to help her clean up their mess. In ONE DAY.

…_She's one incredibly woman, I'll give her that._

Xanxus drained his glass.

* * *

><p>It was almost ten. The Varia members had gone to sleep. Except Xanxus, which he presumed was because he drank way too much tequila. And he had a killer headache.<p>

"Shit, shit, shit…." He snarled to himself as he staggered out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen, in search for an aspirin or something to ease his pain.

When he was just outside the kitchen door, he stopped. He heard a voice. Was it…..

He slowly pushed open the door, just enough for him to see inside. It was Natsuki, washing and drying the dishes on her own. She must have taken pity on the Varia and sent them to bed, leaving most of the work for herself.

"_Nobody knows who I really am._

_I've never felt this empty before…."_

And she was singing.

"_And if I ever need someone to come along,_

_Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong?"_

Xanxus had no idea how a woman with such energy and confidence like herself could sound so sweet and sad. She was softly singing a song with a clear, angelic voice.

"_We are all rowing the boat of fate,_

_The waves keep on coming and we can't escape._

_But if we ever get lost on our way,_

_The waves would guide you through another day."_

Xanxus leaned against the wall just outside the kitchen, and closed his eyes. For some reason, Natsuki's voice echoed inside his head, but not painfully. It felt more like the gentle, soft movement of ocean waves.

"_People's hearts change_

_And sneak away from them….."_

Xanxus felt his headache lessen slightly. It reduced to a light throbbing, rather than the intense pounding from before.

"_I want you to know who I really am,_

_I never thought I'd feel this way towards you._

_And if you ever need someone to come along,_

_I will follow you and keep you strong."_

The headache disappeared. It was as if it never existed.

All Xanxus could hear and feel now was the song. Natsuki's song, and her voice as soothing as waves inside his head.

"_I give a prayer_

_As I wait for the new day._

_Shining vividly_

_Up to the edge of that sea."_

Quietly, so Natsuki wouldn't know he was there, he shrugged off the wall and slowly walked away. He returned to his bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. Now that her sweet voice wasn't distracting him, the headache was coming back.

Strangely enough, he heard her voice again. It returned to him. He closed his eyes, and softly, the rest of the song whispered inside his head as sleep overcame him.

* * *

><p>"<em>We are rowing the boat of fate,<em>

_But the waves keep on attacking us._

_But isn't that still a wonderful journey?_

_Aren't any of them a wonderful journey?"_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey y'all, it's me again ****J**

**Sorry if this seemed like one of those songfics, but I really love this song and for some reason I felt Natsuki would be the perfect kind of girl to sing this. **

**If you want to hear the song (I didn't include all the lyrics in here, just the ones I felt like putting in), these are English-translated lyrics from the song Life is Like a Boat by Rie Fu. It's incredible. If you don't know this song, well…..that's probably because you've never seen Bleach before. This was….um, the first ending, I think? I don't remember, but whatever, I'm rambling.**

**Keep reviewing! Authors need reviews to survive! Oh yeah, if you guys have any questions at all that are relevant to this story, you are free to ask them. I'll choose a couple and answer them before each chapter if I feel like it.**

**Bye!**

**Oh, P.S.: I finally figured out how to do the line break thing. I thought just using a line of asterixes would be okay...well, whatever. A big thanks goes to one of my fave authors PsychedelicFlame for helping me figure that out! If you haven't read her story Sonic Life featuring Squalo, you should. And it's not yaoi! Le gasp!**

**Anyway, bye. Like, for realz.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Don't Piss Off the Maid

Surprisingly, Bel was up early this morning. And he wasn't sleepwalking.

"Morning, Bel." I said over my shoulder as I started on the sausages. For once, we were having a different breakfast other than instant pancakes since I went shopping.

"Ushishishishi, the peasant wakes up so early." Bel snickered as he walked towards me. He looked over my shoulder, looking absorbed as I skilfully cooked the sizzling slices of meat.

"Can you do me a favour and get me two eggs?" I asked, not really planning on him actually doing it. He was a prince and all.

So I was surprised shitless when Bel actually opened the refrigerator and stared into its depths as though he's never opened it before. Actually, I doubt he ever has. "Where are the eggs kept, peasant?"

"Er, the topmost shelf on the door. It's a special place where all the eggs are kept." I said, quickly overcoming my shock. Bel nodded and took out two eggs. He walked over gingerly, holding the eggs as though they were a newborn baby or a handful of diamonds, and when he handed them to me he looked incredibly pleased with himself for succeeding his journey.

"Thanks, Bel. You're a big help." I said in encouragement. Bel looked even more pleased with himself. "Ushishishishi, of course. The prince is useful."

"VOOOOOOOIIII WHAT THE FUCK?"

We both turn around to see Squalo staring in horror at the scene before him. "BEL IS COOKING?"

"Yeah, he is." I said. "Shocking, isn't it?"

Bel looked offended. "What's so shocking about the prince cooking?"

Squalo snorted. "You've never touched unprepared food in your life. The only thing you know how to make is popcorn. Sort of." He screwed up his face. "Actually, no. You can't even do that."

Bel looked even more insulted. "It was the microwave's fault! How was the prince supposed to know popcorn can catch on fire? Besides, it only happened once. Maybe twice."

I suppressed the urge to laugh my head off in respect to Bel's pride. Instead, I turned to Squalo. "Wanna help?"

He stared at me for a little bit. I never noticed his eyes were a silvery-blue-grey colour. Mostly because I was too busy telling him to shut up and stop screaming. Actually, he was really pleasant company when he wasn't yelling.

Finally, he grumbled, "Whatever. I have nothing else to do." And he stomped up to us. "What do I have to do?"

Hell must truly be freezing over.

Resisting the urge to smile triumphantly, I said, "Well, what do you guys want? Bacon? Toast? Waffles? Bagels?"

Squalo hesitated, then opened his mouth to say something before I cut in. "Waffles it is, then!"

Squalo looked at me in utter bemusement as I adjusted my apron.

"Okay, I need someone to find that thing you use to press the waffles into shape. What the heck are those even called?" I turned back to the sausage, and just in time. They were starting to burn. "Safe!"

Bel looked disappointed. "The prince should be the only one to help his peasant cook."

"The more the merrier." I said, smiling. "You can be my 'special helper', okay, Bel? Squalo can be, um, I don't know….a grunt?"

"Like fuck I'm a grunt, woman." Squalo grunted as he reappeared with the mysterious waffle-making-machine. I loved those things. I used to eat waffles every morning back in Japan with Tsuna. Along with rice. And those things don't even go TOGETHER.

"Thanks, grunt." I said cheerfully, taking it from him and plugging it into the outlet. "Can you find the waffle batter please?"

Squalo disappeared. Lussuria appeared in his place. "I smell sausages!" He sang.

Bel grimaced in disgust. "Ew….this is one face the prince does not want to see first thing in the morning."

"You're such a sweetheart, Bel." Lussuria giggled. "Shall I help you, Suki-chan?"

"Yeah, I need someone to look after the eggs for me while I make the waffles….and I really don't trust anyone else but you, Luss-nee-chan. You're the only one semi-competent in cooking."

"I try, darling." Squalo said grandly, as he took over my place by the stove. I headed towards the counter, Bel following me like a puppy.

"Can you find a big, metal bowl for me, Bel? The biggest one you can find."

Bel nodded and left.

Mammon appeared too. "Muu, what's this? They're actually cooking?"

"Want to help?" I asked hopefully. "You can be added to my assassin-cookers chef list."

Mammon looked thoughtful for a moment. "Muu…..fine. But it won't come cheap."

Squalo appeared from the walk-in pantry. "Here." He threw a box at me and I just barely caught it. I peered at the label. "Squalo you idiot! This is pancake batter!"

"Voooiii, what's the difference?"

"There's a big difference, shithead!" I said, feeling mortally insulted by his words. "Pancakes are disgusting, powdery instant breakfast food made only delicious with maple syrup or butter! Waffles are the most precious, fluffy, delightful, crispy-and-chewy delicacy that could ever grace the foul mouth of someone like yourselves!"

"Voooiii, why can't you just use pancake mix?" Squalo said stubbornly.

"BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE SAME THING, YOU FUCKER!"

"VOOOOOOOIIIII, YOU WANNA START SOMETHING, BITCH?"

Knives added to the fray. "Ushishishi, sorry commander. I'm not letting you talk to my peasant like that."

"Oh, and just when things were looking so peaceful." Lussuria sighed, contentedly flipping eggs.

* * *

><p>"BREAKFAST IS SERVED, BITCHES!" I yelled, laughing maniacally at the Varia already seated around the table.<p>

"Who the fuck gave _her_ caffeine?" Xanxus muttered under his breath.

"Quiet, fools. I'm feeling optimistic and I don't want you to ruin it." I set out the breakfast dishes proudly. "Well? How's them apples?"

Xanxus said nothing but stabbed a sausage and brought it to his plate.

I took my seat and immediately attacked the waffles.

"Are waffles really better than pancakes?" Levi asked, staring at his own waffle suspiciously.

"Voooii, you idiot, don't get her started….." Squalo muttered.

"Yeah, Levi, don't get me started." I said smugly. "When it comes to waffles, I can threaten and scare the shit out of anyone. Even Squalo."

Xanxus looked at me, and I was surprised to see he was looking semi-amused. "I want to see that."

"Sure thing, bossu~~~," I snickered. "Just get that shark idiot to insult waffles for me. It gets me going."

Everyone turned expectantly to the second-in-command. "No. Fucking. Way."

Xanxus pointed to him using his fork, the sausage still speared at the end. "Now, trash."

"No." Squalo folded his arms, looking like a sulky child.

Bel very, very non-discreetly threw a slice of toast at the commander. As usual, because this is the science of toast, it landed jelly-side against Squalo's head. It slid off, streaking Squalo's pure silver hair purple. "Speak, peasant." Bel commanded.

"FINE!" Squalo roared, turning red with fury. "WAFFLES SUCK!"

Instantly, I sat up, so fast my chair crashed down behind me and I nearly flipped the table over.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKING MORON! WAFFLES ARE AMAZING!"

"WAFFLES SUCK!" Squalo yelled back at me. "THEY ARE DISGUSTING, HIDEOUS FREAK-FOOD THAT SHOULD ONLY BE USED TO SERVE SHARKS! ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH THAT! WAFFLES AREN'T EVEN WORTH SHINING SOMEONE'S SHOES!"

The Varia looked rather impressed at Squalo's outburst. But they obviously hadn't seen me in action. I roared like a dragon.

"YOU MOTHERTRIPPIN, BITCH FUCKING ASSBAG HO! IF YOU SAY THAT AGAIN, I WILL RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND FORCE FEED THEM TO YOU! THEN, WHILE YOU CHOKE IN DESPERATION, I WILL SHOVE WAFFLES DOWN YOUR THROAT AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM…..WITH A CUP OF YOUR OWN BLOOD ON THE SIDE!"

There was a long, awkward silence where, for a brief second, Squalo looked absolutely terrified. I was breathing hard. Xanxus was smirking, looking incredibly amused.

I straightened my chair and sat back down calmly. "So, do we agree that waffles are more superior than pancakes?"

There was a hurried collection of agreement throughout the room.

* * *

><p>"We're going on a mission."<p>

"Congratulations," I said, not looking up as I was splayed on the couch, buried in a book. It was really weird. It was about some four-eyed kid with a gruesome facial scar who went to a magic school. "Tell it to someone who cares."

Squalo's eye twitched but he went on. "All of us."

This got me interested. "Even the boss?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

I sat up. "Which means I get the house all to myself?"

Squalo looked even more uncomfortable. "Unfortunately, yes."

I fist-pumped in the air. "YEAH, BABY!"

"Hey, just remember…"

"I know, I know." I waved my hand dismissively. "I won't have a wild-ass party while you're gone, I'll go to bed before ten every night, I won't drink or abuse myself with illegal substances, and I'll remember to brush my teeth before going to bed."

"I don't care about that, you annoying idiot. Go ahead and dope for all I care. Just make sure you don't open the door to anyone except for us. Enemies sometimes try to break in when they know we're gone."

I pouted, giving him puppy eyes. "Are you saying you don't care for my health and well-being?"

"I'm saying you're smart enough to not get baked." He said, looking annoyed.

"I love you too, shark ho."

"Whatever. Did you get what I said?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't open the door to strangers. I get it."

The rest of the Varia trouped in. "Let's go, trash." Xanxus growled, looking in an incredibly bad mood.

I could have sworn that Xanxus looked in my direction before leaving the room. But it was so quick I could have just imagined it.

* * *

><p>I'm dying of boredom.<p>

Who would have thought I'd miss the Varia so much? It was so….quiet. Completely silent. I tried everything to liven up the place. I turned on every single television in the house, I blasted the radio on full volume, I even sang at the top of my lungs every song that came to my head. But I still felt lonely.

_Oh god, I'm missing them…..why am I missing them? _

Great. So it turns out I've accepted the Varia as part of my family now, which I'm certain they don't feel the same since they're psychotic killers. But I've lived alone in an apartment for almost four years. I never felt lonely before.

Maybe I should take this time to read Tsuna's letter to me. He sent me a letter last night, and I didn't have the time to read it.

* * *

><p><em>Hey, nee-chan? How is it going?<em>

_HIIIIIIII! I heard from Dino-san you're working for the Varia! I hope you're unharmed, they can be pretty violent…..but Dino-san is right, you're the best fit for the job. I hope they're taking care of you…..but I'm not expecting much….._

_Reborn is as tyrannical as ever - don't tell him I said that! Yamamoto is really getting into this 'mafia game' and Gokudera-kun keeps on picking fights with random people…..my life is so hectic…_

_So far, Lambo managed to blow things up fifteen times, I nearly got bitten to death by Hibari-san (the leader of our school's disciplinary committee) four times, and I-Pin nearly blew everyone up twice (she saw Hibari-san)._

_I wonder if your life is as crazy as mine is…..I hope you're not feeling any regrets. Even though I don't like the Varia much, as long as you're happy there, I'm happy._

_Write back soon!_

_- your brother Tsuna_

* * *

><p>HE'S SOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUTTEEEEE! I squealed and rolled around on the floor, hugging a pillow. It made me want to see my adorable little bro again.<p>

Then, the doorbell rang.

I padded to the door. "Who is it?" I sang. Was it the Varia? That was one quick mission.

"Is this the Varia residency?" I heard a gruff voice ask. Whoops. No Varia.

"Ummm…..no?" I rolled my eyes, even though the guy couldn't see it anyways. "Seriously, dude, what else could this place be? It's the only building for miles. What do you want?"

"I have an urgent message from the Vongola Nono I must discuss with the Varia."

"Sorry, they're out on a mission."

"Oh, it seems I came at a bad time. Could I come in and wait until they arrive? It's a very important message."

I almost opened the door before a red flag popped up in my head. "Whoa there, buddy. My stranger-danger antennae is tingling. Tell me the message and I'll repeat it when they return."

"I cannot trust any Varia officer, no matter how high they're rank is, with this message except the boss himself." The man said firmly, annoyance in his voice.

"Well, everyone's gone. Even the big boss." I said huffily. "It's just me here. Besides, I'm not an officer. I'm their maid."

There was silence. Then…..

"Well then, excuse us for intruding."

My eyes widened. What the fu-

BOOM!

The door exploded. I was sent flying, coughing up dust and wood splinters. Ahh, shit! I think one went in my mouth! Crapsocks, now I'm going to get a splinter cut in my mouth and it's totally going to get infected and I'll die of some sort of extreme mouth disease.

Oh, wait. Problem at hand.

Several people walked in, the man in front looking like the leader and the guy who spoke to me.

"What the shitty hell are you freakfuckers doing?" I yelled furiously, struggling to my feet. "Now we're going to have to replace the door!"

"Replacing the door is the least of your worries," The man began in a threatening villain voice, but I wasn't done ranting.

"Yeah, easy for you to say, monkeyfucker! The Varia are gonna flip shit when they find out about this!"

Suddenly, a rough hand gripped my throat. I gasped and gurgled and flailed my arms uselessly, trying to hit him, but there was no point. I was running out of air, and quickly.

"Like I said, you have more problems to deal with." The man snarled, before throwing me roughly into a wall. I choked and massaged by neck.

"We are messengers all right….but not for the Nono. Our allegiance belongs to an enemy family…..now we're trashing the assassin headquarters! And once we finish killing you and taking all the money in this house, we will wait for the Varia to return and kill them!"

His maniacal laughter was short-lived when I struggled to my feet and kicked him right between the legs where the sun don't shine.

He grunted painfully and fell to his feet. The men behind him yelled in horror. I turned to them and grabbed the first weapon I saw - an umbrella.

"You better leave!" I snarled, brandishing the umbrella fearsomely. "Because I am Sawada Natsuki, the Varia's maid, and there is one rule here that is made clear in the Varia household….. DO. NOT. PISS. OFF. THE. MAID."

Then I charged.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Mother Hens

Let me tell you right now - I am a badass bitch and all, but there's no way even I can stand up to a bunch of full-grown ape men and stay standing for six hours; which ultimately was what happened.

I fought a good, long battle. Let's just say it involved the use of an umbrella (perfect for well-placed jabbing), several kitchen knives, and a frying pan. And so far, I managed to knock out every single bastard that came through the door.

Unfortunately, those jerks are like flies, and they just kept coming with reinforcements. In the end, I had to retreat twice - the living room was my last stand before they could invade the fort.

FORTUNATELY, I am still a badass bitch and (with a little help from my Inner B.S.) I knocked out almost all of the flies. Except for the leader.

We were currently well-matched. I had a frying pan in my hands, and he had a gun. My hands were so bruised and battered from the occasional fistfight with a fly that I could barely hold it up. And, luckily for me, that guy finally ran out of bullets. Let's just say I have epic reflexes. How else do I survive around Xanxus?

It was the final battle, and we both discarded our useless weapons for a final fistfight, but like I said, he was a big hulking ape ass and I was a petite (but curvy), extremely attractive Japanese girl (oh shut up, it's my point of view, I can be egotistical if I freaking want to), and soon we ended up rolling on the floor, his hands at my throat while I struggled fiercely. I was slowly losing air.

That's when I heard the best sound in a long time.

"VOOOOOOOOIIIIII, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"

They came back! But how could I tell them what's going on without getting strangled to death?

My head, already fuzzy with panic, pain, and the fear of death, went completely blank. I summoned up the last breath I had and screamed the first thing that came to my head.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!"

It was surprising how quickly my mind jumped to 'rape', because, to be honest, it totally looked like it if you were an observer.

What was even more surprising was how quickly the Varia acted.

Within seconds - like, _legit_ seconds - the meaty sausage fingers gripping my delicate throat disappeared. I briefly heard the sound of the guy yelling in pain as he slammed into a wall, and I sat up weakly, choking and rubbing at my throat.

"Oh, god, Suki-chan!" I heard Lussuria's voice around me, an arm around my shoulders to support me. "What happened?"

"Enemies - attacked - held them off - last one -" I managed to choke out. Ew ew ew, I think I just coughed up some blood. Oh ew, that's gross.

Then THAT happened.

I felt someone kneel down in front of me. Then a hand reached out, gently gripped my cheek, and slowly forced me to look upwards.

My brown eyes, slightly blurred by a film of blood, met with angry red eyes.

"Who the fuck did that to you?" Xanxus said, in a soft voice that barely concealed his bloodlust as he prepared to completely and utterly destroy the man that wounded me.

It would be totally romantic if I wasn't hurting on every inch of my body.

I blinked away the blood and tried really hard not to turn red - although they probably wouldn't have noticed anyway, with all the bruises and cuts on my face. Yes, I went through hell to protect this house, okay? "I-it sort of a-accumulated….a lot came…." I smiled weakly in an effort to look stronger. "But h-hey….I protected the fort, r-right?"

The warmth of his hand left my cheek, and he turned to walk towards the leader. "You organized this attack?"

The leader - foolishly - decided to be a man and tell the truth. "Yes, I did!" He said proudly, or as proud as you can get when you were being surrounded by pissed off assassins.

"You fucking asshole piece of scum, you are going to be taught the meaning of pain."

Then Xanxus, Squalo, and Bel proceeded to torture the living shit out of him. It was a rather impressive combination, and the man's screams went on forever. Lussuria picked me up and brought me to my room, ignoring my weak protests on walking by myself.

"No need to see the carnage, honey." He said soothingly. "And I'll get them to clean up all the blood afterwards, okay? We need to get you healed up, poor thing - you look like you've gone through a forest of chainsaws."

"Where's L-Levi and Ma-Mammon?" I coughed out.

"Levi's looking for any extra bugs that might be scuttling around. And Mammon's probably torturing the survivors for causing so much financial damage to our home," Lussuria said happily. "You are amazing, Suki-chan! To think you held your own against assassins!"

"I-I'm the Varia's maid…." I grinned. "Of c-course I'm amazing."

A few minutes later, the rest of the Varia stormed in. I noticed Xanxus, Squalo, and Bel's clothes were splattered with blood - which I'm willing to bet was not theirs.

"Is my peasant okay?" Bel asked, immediately rushing to my side. He knelt beside the bed.

"Don't jostle the sheets so much, Bel, honey, I'm working on her wounds now." Lussuria said soothingly.

"I'm fine, Bel," I assured him. "I kick ass on a regular basis."

Squalo snorted. "Voooooooi, you look pretty tortured, woman. I have to admit, though, you did well."

"Was that an umbrella you stabbed one guy with?" Levi asked, interested.

"Yeah, man." I grinned. "Was it still in his guts?"

"Standing poker-straight right in his abdomen. 90-degree angle exactly."

"AWESOME!"

"Shut up."

We all turned to Xanxus, who was leaning against the wall close to my bed, arms folded.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're injured and that scum's healing your wounds. Any second now and you're going to start screaming. So keep your mouth shut."

I scowled. "I'm not going to scr - AAAAAAAAAAAAH! FUUUUUUUUUCKKK!"

Lussuria had just put the alcohol on my leg wounds. I twisted in agony. "Oh fucking god dammit son of a shithole that hurts god dammit!"

Lussuria ignored me and added some more. The rest of the Varia cringed as another stream of unstoppable curses flowed out of my bloody mouth.

"SHUT. UP." Xanxus snarled.

"You wanna try some of this? It stings like a bitch!" I snapped, wincing in pain. Bel looked worried, as though he didn't know what to do. Then he grinned and turned to Mammon. "Mammon. Do your thing."

Mammon looked at him briefly and nodded. A second later, I felt a cool breeze blow through me and the pain faded away.

"An illusion. To help you ignore your pain," Mammon said. "Muu, I should pay you for this…..but you're injured, and you managed to stop those bugs from destroying more of the house, so for now it's free."

"Thank you…..Mammon….." My eyes closed and I drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

Damn, Mammon's illusions kick ass.

"Squalo, can you make me your soup again?"

"Hell no."

I widened my eyes. "Please? Please? Please?"

Squalo scowled, his cheeks turning a light shade of red. "I don't fucking make soup, woman!"

"Liar! You made me soup when I was sick!" I argued, refusing to let this go. "And it tasted really good, please? I'm starving and Lussuria can only cook so much."

Scowling at his unresponsive grunt, I flopped back down on the bed. "This sucks. I wish I could just go make my own food….."

"Vooooiii! No way, woman! You're staying in that fucking bed until your wounds are healed!"

I scowled darker, then I got an evil bitchy idea to make my day more interesting.

"RAAAAAPE! RAPE! RAPE!"

Within seconds, Xanxus and Bel had appeared and were proceeding to beat the shit out of poor Squalo.

"OW! OW! VOOOOOIII, THE FUCK? I DIDN'T DO JACKSHIT TO HER!"

I was laughing my head off on the bed.

Lussuria, Levi, and Mammon poked their heads through the door. "I heard someone getting raped," Lussuria said pleasantly.

"NOBODY'S GETTING FUCKING RAPED!" Squalo howled as he dodged Xanxus' blows. He scowled and turned to me. "Voooiii, bitch! What was that for?"

"I'm bored. And I'm a bitch when I'm bored."

Squalo looked just about ready to throttle me. I snickered and waved my arm at him teasingly. My wounds had a brief spaz attack, and I winced. "Owch! Fucksocks!"

In an instant, they were all crowded around my bed. Xanxus, who was the closest, glared at me. "What's hurting?" He asked me seriously. God dammit, why was my face turning red? _STOP LOOKING AT ME WITH THOSE RED EYEEEESS….._

"N-nothing!" I stammered, feeling flustered. "Just my arm…."

Squalo grabbed my arm (with surprising gentleness) and pulled it up for everyone to examine. "Which wound?"

"I'm fine, seriously!" I yelped, but they ignored me.

"Poor peasant, are you okay?" Bel worried. "Do you need more rest? Do you want food?"

"I'll make you that fucking soup, okay?" Squalo said, scowling.

Even Xanxus was worried about me - in his own way. "If you're still pissed, I could destroy the family that attacked you. It wouldn't take us a day."

"Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea, boss." Lussuria giggled. "After all, they hurt our princess."

"That is, if you want us to…." Bel said quickly.

"GUYS!" I yelled, stopping their incessant rambling. They all paused and looked at me.

"Will you shut up?" I said weakly. "Stop fussing over me like mother hens."

There was a long pause. Then….

"Mother hens?"

"_Mother hens?_"

"MOTHER HENS?"

Squalo jumped up, his face flaming red. "VOOOOOIII, I AM NOT FUCKING ACTING LIKE A MOTHER HEN!"

"The prince does NOT act like a mother hen!" Bel said huffily, folding his arms.

There was a loud bang - Xanxus had just slammed the door behind him as he stormed out of the room. And from what I saw before that, his scarred cheeks were red. RED.

Oh-my-fucking-god-ponies-on-a-stick-the-world-is-ending-hell…_I made Xanxus blush_.

I am obviously a reincarnated angel sent from mafia heaven.

"Whatever, mother hens. Now I'm officially tired, so go away." I leaned back into my cushions comfortably, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy. These guys are great when it comes to tiring people out.

"Don't you DARE call me a fucking mother hen again." Squalo warned me, an eye twitching dangerously.

"Alright, alright, don't get your feathers in a twist, mother hen."

Lussuria and Levi quickly dragged Squalo out of the room before he could kill me.

Not like he could. I'm badass, remember?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Embarrassing Words and Parties

**Otaku-chama: Hey guys, it's me! I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading and reviewing my stories. I absolutely love all your comments! *cries* Thank you, my dear readers! You know I love you all! And don't worry, this story isn't going anywhere. I know the final climax and ending, but I'm fine with filling the rest of the story with random crap.**

* * *

><p>Today was Monday, and it signalled a very important day for Lussuria and I.<p>

It was a day that would require immense amounts of energy and stamina, as well as popcorn-making. We would be forced to stare at a television screen for so long until our eyes dry out and turn into those funny cartoon eyes that look like this: 3_3

Anyway.

Breakfast that day was hectic. I was wolfing down my waffles as fast as I could, nearly choking in the process.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Squalo grunted.

I tried to tell him, but my mouth was bulging with food. So I flipped him off in answer.

Finally, I finished my meal. I drank my orange juice in one gulp, slammed it onto the table, jumped up, and yelled "Luss-nee-chan, hurry! It's going to start any minute now!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Lussuria said, grabbing a slice of buttered toast and rising from the table. "Oh, by the way, darlings. I gave Suki-chan a day off today, so someone else will have to do the dishes."

"VOOOOOOIII, WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS, LUSSURIA?" Squalo roared. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK ME FIRST?"

"It's not our fault the program starts early today!" Lussuria complained. "But it goes back to normal time tomorrow, so just this one day."

"Please, Squalo! It'll mean a lot to me!" I pleaded, looking up at him with big puppy dog eyes. Squalo edged away in fear. "Fine, whatever! Just stop looking at me like that, it gives me chills. What the hell is so important anyway?"

"It's Fashion Week!" I said excitedly.

Silence. A vein began to throb in Squalo's temple. Xanxus watched the process, looking quite amused. He sure enjoyed seeing his second-in-command suffer.

Lussuria and I quickly escaped the room after that.

"It's coming, it's coming, it's coming…." I chanted, rocking back and forth as I stared at the TV screen in anticipation.

Some French announcer with a spectacular moustache began to speak in a thick accent._"Ladeez and genteelmen, I preezent to yoo, FASHION WEEK!"_

"!" Lussuria and I squealed, jumping up and down on the couch and clasping each other's hands, overcome with excitement.

Squalo was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, making a face at us. He probably forced Levi to do the dishes or something.

The rest of the Varia trickled into the living room, mostly because there were no missions and they were bored as hell. None of them seemed interested in the models sashaying down the runway on the television except for us.

"I love that dress!" Lussuria screeched, as a woman with sharp cheekbones and iron rod-straight hair walked down the runway wearing a gorgeous pink-and-red ensemble.

"Her makeup is to die for!" I said, pointing to another one who looked striking with yellow and purple eyeshadow.

Bel was seated in the armchair next to the couch, looking bored at the antics on screen but looking amused at my expressions. Squalo looked irritated and disgusted. Levi looked curious. I wasn't sure if Xanxus was behind me or not, because I was too busy staring with my eyes glued to the screen.

Much, much later, the announcer said, _"Zank yoo for watcheeng. Pleeaze come back toomorrow! Au revoir!" _

"_AU REVOIR!_" Lussuria and I yelled, blowing kisses at the camera like true French.

"Oh, thank god that was over." Squalo muttered, face palming himself.

"And that was just the beginning!" I squealed.

"Oh, dear god…."

* * *

><p>It was Thursday, which meant only a few days were left for Fashion Week. I enjoyed watching the Varia suffer. They really had nothing to do at all, so they were forced to watch Fashion Week with Lussuria and I.<p>

It was break time. Lussuria was in a heated conversation with Levi about the true beauty of women, something only Lussuria could understand. Levi looked lost. Bel looked bored. Squalo looked disgusted. Xanxus was leaning on the wall behind the couch I was sitting on, looking so bored he didn't even bother sitting in his usual throne.

I looked at the screen, and the show was coming back on. My jaw dropped.

"Oh my god….Lussuria?"

"What is it, dear?"

"The male models are coming out."

"WHAT? WHERE? LET ME SEE!" Lussuria shrieked, as the rest of the Varia cringed. Absolutely blubbering with glee, Lussuria and I stared intently at the screen, swooning over each male model as they came down the runway.

"Oh my god, look at that one, honey! His abs are delicious!"

"Look at that guy's eyes! They smoulder!"

"Oh my goodness gracious, that darling's hair only belongs on a god's!"

"That guy's jaw line is so strong…."

We both swooned and giggled like we were high. The Varia looked at us like we actually were high. I could have sworn I saw a vein throbbing in Xanxus' temple, but I wasn't sure and I was too busy fawning over the gorgeous models to look properly.

"Ooh! Look at that one honey! That Italian darling!" Lussuria squealed, pointing at one model. "He looks a bit like our boss, don't you think?"

Squalo snorted. "You've got to be kidding me." He then yelled a stream of curses when Xanxus threw a very expensive vase at his head. I ignored it and studied the model carefully.

"You're right, Luss-nee-chan. He has the same facial structure…..and his hair almost looks the same….." I pondered it thoughtfully. Then I completely forgot myself and spoke out loud what I was thinking. "I don't know, I think Xanxus is hotter."

Then everyone froze. My eyes widened, and I made a gulping noise at the back of my throat. Heat rushed to my face.

Oh dear lord. Please don't tell me I just said what I think I said. While _he's_ in the same room. Oh god, oh god…..

I jumped off the couch and ran out of the room, passing Xanxus on the way.

I could have sworn there was a smug smirk on that bastard's face as I passed.

* * *

><p>I want to die of embarrassment.<p>

I can't believe I said that. In front of Xanxus. Actually, why the hell does it bother me so much? I've never cared what I said to hotties. OH GOD - I just acknowledged him as a hottie! AGAIN!

I really want to die now. Maybe I should throw myself out the window.

I spent the entire day shut up in my room, mortified. Through the locked door, I heard Squalo complaining loudly that now they had to cook for themselves since I refused to come out. Then I listened as they nearly set the kitchen on fire.

But I still didn't come out.

It wasn't until the next day did Lussuria appear from outside my door. "Natsuki, honey~~!"

I didn't answer. I was curled up into a ball, wrapped up in my blanket like a cocoon. I feigned sleeping.

There was an insisted knocking, then a sigh. Silence.

Then my entire door exploded.

I shrieked as Lussuria calmly patted dust off his hands. "There we go!" He sang, completely oblivious to the fact that he just murdered my door with his Muay Thai-whatever martial crap.

"No point moping about it, my dear! What's done is done!" He said comfortingly, although I had the feeling he enjoyed my embarrassment. Fucking sadist.

"Go away!" I moaned, rolling around in humiliation until I fell off the bed. I continued rolling around the floor in my little cocoon blanket, smacking into walls.

I heard more footsteps, then Squalo's voice. "What the fuck are you _doing_?"

I stopped rolling, then spoke. "I want to die, but Lussuria won't leave me alone." My voice sounded muffled through all the blankets.

I felt a hand grip an edge of the blanket, and Squalo roughly gave it a hard yank. I shrieked as I spun on the ground and rolled out into the open. Shit, I was dizzy now.

"Come on, honey, stand up! We have to get you ready!" Lussuria sang.

"For what?" I mumbled, my head spinning.

"We have a party to go to!"

I perked up. "A party?" I love parties! I am the QUEEN of partying!

"And think of all the dresses you have! Now we can put them to good use!" Lussuria giggled, looking delighted. "And I want to do your hair and makeup!"

"Consider it done!" I beamed. PARTY PARTY PARTY!

"Whatever. Just hurry up." Squalo muttered. "We're leaving at six." He turned to leave. I looked at my clock. It read four. FOUR?

"YOU BASTARD!" I yelled, throwing a pillow at Squalo's retreating head. "VOOOII, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS GET ME EARLIER? TWO HOURS! TWO FREAKING HOURS! _YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING IN TWO MOTHERTRIPPING HOURS!_" I shrieked furiously.

"No time to argue, honey, we have to move!" Lussuria said nervously, looking just as anxious as I felt.

I ran to get ready. Honestly. What can you do in two hours?

* * *

><p>"VOOOOOOOOOIII, LUSSURIA! ARE YOU DONE YET?" Squalo roared from the bottom of the stairs. The rest of the Varia, minus Lussuria and Natsuki, were already there and waiting. Xanxus was in an even worse mood than usual. He hated parties and he hated seeing his 'father'. Unfortunately, since this was a Vongola party, he had to deal with both.<p>

"Wait a second, Squ-chan!" Lussuria trilled from somewhere on the second floor. "I need to do Suki-chan's lip gloss! Almost done!"

"HURRY UP!" Squalo fumed. The Varia were all uncomfortable and pissed off. They hated wearing suits.

Finally, Lussuria appeared, bounding down the stairs gleefully. He still wore his feather boa around his neck.

"Vooooii, where the fuck is that woman?" Squalo growled, impatient as usual.

"She's coming~~," Lussuria sang, giggling. "She just wants to make a good entrance."

The Varia heard footsteps. They all looked up to see Natsuki - and their jaws dropped.

Natsuki was wearing the dress the Vongola Nono sent to her as a present. The silver and white fabric glittered like diamonds as it passed under the light, and it flowed like water down her body, ending above the knee. She was wearing silver heels, silver crystalline earrings adorning her as decoration.

Lussuria had curled her hair, letting the brown curls fall down her back and frame her small face. The mascara and silvery eyeshadow Lussuria picked out for her made her big, doe-like brown eyes appear twice as big as normal.

Once Natsuki reached the bottom, she beamed at them and twirled. "Well? What do you think?"

Bel was the first to break the awed silence. "Ushishishishi, my peasant looks like a princess today," He grinned appreciatively, looking her up and down. "I guess I'll have to call you my princess from now on."

"Thanks for the promotion." She said sarcastically, still grinning. Looks like that didn't change with the transformation.

"Whatever woman, just hurry up." Squalo grumbled.

Natsuki turned to Xanxus, her smile fading slightly. She fidgeted, tugging at a silver bracelet on her wrist. "Do I….do I look okay?" She asked hesitantly, anxiously.

Xanxus stared at her. A lot of adjectives were coming to mind, but 'okay' was not one of them. 'Beautiful', 'gorgeous', and 'ethereal' were more obvious choices.

But, being Xanxus, he didn't say it. He would never say it. And, to be frank, he didn't know why he cared.

"Whatever." Xanxus muttered, turning away and briskly walking outside towards the waiting limo, letting the cool evening air wash over his heated cheeks.

"He likes it, honey." Lussuria assured Natsuki, escorting her to the limo.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Drunk or Not Drunk?

The Vongola Headquarters was a place I've been to before, but I still forgot how grand it was. I stared up in awe at all the lights glowing through the windows, how the whole mansion seemed to grow taller the more I looked.

"Voi, get your head out of the clouds, woman! Let's go!" Squalo griped, smacking me on the back of the head. Very lightly. It could almost have been a pat. Lussuria had obviously talked to him beforehand that my hair could not be ruined in any way (I can only imagine how Lussuria threatened him…..ah, the joys of gay assassins).

As we entered the main hall, the crowds gasped and fell back, fear evident on their faces as we walked by.

"The fuck did you do to them?" I snickered at Squalo, as he walked nearest to me.

"We're assassins, bitch." He replied. I rolled my eyes.

"So what?" I shot back. "All Mafioso are assassins. Since when are you guys any special?"

"We're THE assassins."

The crowds seemed even more scared of me as I continued arguing with Squalo. After all, it's not every day you see a young, gorgeous (hee hee) girl picking a fight with the Varia and _not_ getting killed. Of course, they haven't seen my epic-ninja, frying pan-fu yet, so they don't know how badass I can be.

Then Xanxus stopped in front of me, and I almost smashed into him. I was about to tell him off (or swear at him, whatever) when I realized his whole body had gone stiff. I looked past his frozen body to see Vongola Nono.

"Xanxus-kun, it's been a while!" He said pleasantly, as though his adopted son never tried to kill him in the first place. "How have you been?"

"I've been well, old man." Xanxus replied stiffly, his voice monotone and barely concealing contempt.

I karate-chopped his ribs. He turned to glare at me.

"Be nice to your father." I reprimanded him.

Xanxus scowled even deeper, his red eyes blazing into mine intensely. "And you're nice to yours?"

I scowled back, making my face as ugly as possible to illustrate my point. "There's a difference. Nono is a sweet man who gave me a job, a gorgeous-ass dress that I know you love even though you won't admit it, and delicious chocolates. Loser Dad is a loser."

I could have sworn the corners of Xanxus' mouth started to turn up the slightest bit, before he suddenly scowled again and turned back to his father.

"Yeah, that's right, old man. That shitty letter you gave to me. What was with that?"

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot, the mysterious letter I gave to Xanxus so he wouldn't kill me. I eavesdropped curiously, trying to get any hint as to what that letter said.

Nono just smiled. "You don't think it will come true?"

Xanxus made a contemptuous noise at the back of his throat. "The fuck it will. We're Varia."

"And she's Natsuki," Nono said gently.

There was a long silence as I contemplated what that was supposed to mean. Then, Nono turned to me and smiled. "Natsuki-chan, it's been a while. I hope they've been taking care of you?"

I smiled back at him as brightly as I could. Hey, the old man gave me this dress, I might as well appreciate. "Surprisingly, they do. They help me with my chores, and they take care of me when I'm not well."

There was a lot of speculation and muttering from the eavesdropping guests at this. Even Nono seemed surprised about this. "Really?"

"Vooooii, what are you trying to make us out for?" Squalo scowled, blushing. "A fucking family, or something?"

"Yeah, why not?" I grinned. "We're family, right?"

Bel looked extremely happy about this. "Ushishishi, I like this family better than my old one, anyway." He grinned his Cheshire smile. "And my princess is in it too, so it's even better."

I blushed slightly at his compliment. Xanxus' eyes narrowed dangerously at the teenage prince. I caught Nono looking extremely smug about that.

Then Bel added, "Of course, if you were boring, I would have killed you. Ushishishishi. Like my last family."

Cold, cold chill coming in here.

* * *

><p>Okay, now I understood the advantages of being invited to a Vongola party. The food they had there was the shit!<p>

I grabbed a plateful of whatever crap I could get my hands on and walked around looking for a place to sit. It all seemed to be full, and I couldn't see the Varia anywhere (stupid, huge lard-ass ballroom hall).

Then I saw the wide-open doors leading out to the balcony. It was already evening time, and stars were appearing in the sky. It would be really romantic to eat out there, right?

So I took my plate and walked over - then stopped, because someone was already leaning on the balcony.

Xanxus.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked him. He turned to look at me. He too had a plate of food (mostly steak) that he balanced on the flat stone railing. He stared at me for a second, then turned back to stare out into the night sky and the wide-open gardens below us.

I put my plate on the railing as well and started to eat. We didn't talk for a while. I felt strangely nervous for some reason.

I turned to his plate. It really was filled with nothing but steak. I grabbed some vegetables I had on my plate and scraped about half onto his.

"What the fuck?" He snapped.

"You need to eat your vegetables!" I snapped back. "You want to get scurvy like some third-rate sailor and have all your fingers and toes and teeth drop out and all your scars open up until you bleed yourself dry and hang like an empty casket?"

We had a short glaring contest, which I won because Xanxus started to look embarrassed and he turned away. I gave a quick booty dance of celebratory victory.

"You're so embarrassing."

"Yeah, so what?"

"That's not something you should be proud of."

"Yeah, but I am. So whatcha going to do 'bout it?" I snickered, taunting him.

Xanxus turned to me. There it was. That stare thing again. This time it was much longer. I felt a heat slowly rise up into my face. "What?"

He didn't answer. My smile slipped off as I started to feel really embarrassed. _God dammit, Natsuki! Don't let him get to you! _

I looked down, tugging nervously at the sash on my dress, lightly pulling at the neckline. _Oh no, do I look weird? _Why was I getting so self-conscious all of a sudden?

Oh lord, I was self-conscious. I could sing in the middle of an airport. Hell, when I was fourteen I did the "Things To Do To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart" list! _Oh god, Natsuki, calm down, calm down._

AAAAH SHIT! I was freaking out! Oh man, I bet I have a huge zit on my face or something. Even worse, this dress might be more low-cut than I thought. What if I'm flashing my boobs to the world? Oh god, no wonder he's staring. No, wait, maybe this dress is too short. Oh god -

"Stop fidgeting," Xanxus interrupted suddenly, nearly scaring me out of my wits. "You look pretty already, so stop playing with your clothes."

I shot my head up to stare at him incredulously, but he was already staring out into the sky again, chewing thoughtfully on his food.

"Are you…." I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the blush spreading on my cheeks. "Are you drunk?"

Xanxus snorted. "So what if I am?"

"You're always nicer to me if you're tipsy or drunk." I said. "So, you know, you called me p-pretty, and…."

Xanxus leaned towards me and said it again. "You're pretty."

I thought I was going to die. Again. For the second time today. What the fuck?

Xanxus smirked, obviously enjoying my embarrassment.

"You're a dick, you know that?"

"Yeah, so what?"

I glared at him, but I couldn't help but smile a little at his response. "I like you a lot better when you're drunk."

He was silent for a few seconds. "Why?"

"Because you're nicer to me. Girls like nicer guys, don't you know?" When he didn't answer, I thought about it some more and added, "Of course, rebellious and violent guys like you are pretty popular to you, especially in shojo manga and the like. But they're really popular when they only show their gentle, sweet side to a special person."

Then I blushed AGAIN, because I just realized I was practically saying I was his girlfriend or whatever. I quickly tried to mend it. "N-not that you're like a shojo manga character, of course! I just mean, you know, you're more fun when you're drunk. Like most guys who walk around with poles up their ass, like you sometimes do. End of story."

I hunched up my shoulders, feeling like I might suffocate under the weight of mortification.

Xanxus finished his meal and downed his glass of wine (see? SEE?) before turning back to me. By now, it was pretty dark out, and the brightest thing I could see of him were those blood-red orbs, glaring intensely at me in the half-darkness.

"You want to know something funny?" He asked me.

"Um, sure?"

His eyes seemed to soften for a second, before he leaned close towards me and whispered, "I'm not drunk", before taking his plate and glass and heading inside.

OH. MY. GOD.

Would it be too obvious if I jumped off the balcony right now?

* * *

><p>"Hey, Luss-nee-chan." I hissed, sidling up beside him.<p>

"Oh, what is it, hon?" Lussuria cooed.

"When is Xanxus nice to me?"

Lussuria paused for a moment before saying, "Well, isn't it obvious? When he's drunk."

Okay, so it wasn't just me.

"Well, what if when he's _not_ drunk? Because he just told me he's not drunk but he said I was p-p…p-pre…." Aw shit, I couldn't even say the word now.

Lussuria clapped both hands to the side of his face and let out a high-pitched squeal. I think all glassware within a ten foot radius just shattered. Including my eardrums.

"Darling, do you know what this means?"

"No….." I said warily. "Oh, no, wait! It's coming to me - oh, no, never mind…..no….."

"Sweetheart…." He leaned in close to my ear and said in a conspiratorial whisper, "He's in LOVE with you."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "The fuck? He is _not_!" I hissed furiously. "The phrase 'Xanxus in love' is like the phrase 'tentacle rape and puppies'. It's retarded and wrong and just _doesn't fucking make sense_!"

"But it does!" Lussuria sang. "Because you came along….."

"It doesn't work that way, I'm telling you!" I denied it with all my heart. Him? Impossible. But did I want that to happen? No, shit! He was THE bossman, the ultimate badass jerk who threw things at people's head with deadly accuracy. He was the asshole that was always such a picky eater. He was the annoying bastard who always made me feel flustered and embarrassed and - OH MY GOD.

"Oh, Bel darling! Come over here!" Lussuria waved to the blonde-haired prince who sauntered over, relaxed. "Don't you think the boss is in love with Suki-chan?"

Bel scowled slightly before his expression cleared and he said calmly, "Yes, it's pretty obvious."

"HOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW?" I shrieked. Everyone nearby stopped talking and turned to me, a little freaked out.

Bel looked upset. "The prince is jealous. Why does princess like the boss?"

"Because - NO WAIT A SHITTING MINUTE! I don't like him!"

"Are you sure, darling?" Lussuria giggled, giving me _the look_. "I think you and the boss are _attracted_ to each other, huu huu huu~~!"

I swear I was as red as a strawberry by now. "Lussuria, no. Just NO."

"Oh? Then is it - you know - sexual tension -?"

"Oh my fuck, Lussuria, _no!_"

Let's just say I had one fuck of a headache when we left - and it wasn't from the champagne (which by the way, was heavenly).


	15. Chapter 15

Be With Me Chapter 15: Assassinations Are Totally Field Trips

"We have another mission." Xanxus grunted from his usual seat at the head of the table.

There was an instant uproar.

"VOOOOOOOOOIIII! FINALLY!" Squalo roared, looking delighted. "WE'VE BEEN SO LAZY LATELY I THOUGHT MY SWORD WOULD RUST!"

"Ushishishishi, the prince has been bored lately too," Bel grinned evilly. "I need a new _dartboard_ anyway."

We all shivered at his remark.

Levi looked happy as well, saying something that the boss needed fresh air and he's been cooped up inside for too long anyway.

"Muu, what is he, a dog?" Mammon muttered under his breath. I snorted.

Lussuria was the only one who didn't look pleased.

"Ooh, boss, but what about Suki-chan?" Lussuria shivered, practically wringing his hands in anxiety. "She'll be all alone again….and what if those _idiots_ come back again?"

By this he meant the assassin losers who tried to kill me a while ago. Despite many frustrated attempts by practically all of the Varia members, the assassins contained no ID or trademarks on them, and we still couldn't figure out which family they belonged to.

"I'll be fine, guys. You need to take this job!" I tried to stay optimistic, even though my heart was sinking down to somewhere in my intestines. I was going to be all lonely again, and even though I always complain about the idiotic (and sometimes creepy) antics of these assassins, I knew I would miss them, even if they were gone for only a day or so.

NOT that I would ever admit this out loud. I mean, really, they'll probably just say I was getting too close to them or whatever and that I was being whiny. No. Never admit I'll miss them. Never.

Squalo looked at me. "Che, that would be a problem. We still don't know which family sent those suicide-assassins, they might come back."

"Stop worrying about it," I insisted, rolling my eyes. "If you haven't noticed with their last attempt, I'm fine on my own."

Xanxus spoke up suddenly. "You could have died if we weren't there in time."

I scowled at him as he nonchalantly ate his steak (yes, steak AGAIN, honestly, is that all this guy eats?). I looked at his plate. Yup, just steak. Once again, I grabbed my own plate and scraped some broccoli and carrots onto his plate. The Varia all stared in shock at me. Xanxus glared. "The fuck?"

"Eat vegetables, they're good for you." I reprimanded him like a scolding mother. Xanxus glowered evilly at me, but ate them anyway.

"YOU got XANXUS to eat VEGETABLES?" Squalo gawked at me. "Do you know how hard it is to get that damn boss to do ANYTHING? Voi, can you get him to do his paperwork instead of making me do it all the time?"

Xanxus threw his glass of chardonnay at the silver swordsman's head. He ducked just in time, but the strands of his long hair still ended up soaked in the alcohol. He straightened up and glared at his boss.

I immediately placed another glass of chardonnay at Xanxus' side. I knew from experience that if a glass of some sort of alcohol wasn't near him at all times, shit would get down.

"Maybe we could take Suki-chan with us…." Lussuria supplied helpfully.

Bel made a small sound that was in-between a cough and a hack. I realized he just choked on whatever he was eating. "Are you crazy, peasant?" Bel demanded, looking extremely pissed off and for once, not smiling. "That would put my princess in danger!"

Xanxus' eye twitched, but he didn't move.

"Yeah, that's kind of a stupid idea, Lussuria." Levi said concernedly. "That's even more dangerous for Natsuki."

"Muu….actually, I think it's a good idea." Mammon suddenly spoke up, to everyone's surprise. "She might be in danger even if we leave her here. Besides, there's no way we would let Natsuki get hurt if we're there with her. Varia quality, remember?"

Squalo thought about this for a second, then grinned. "Actually, that's not a bad idea. We could consider this training."

Bel smirked. "Prove we're Varia quality by making sure our princess is unharmed even in the middle of danger?…Actually, I like it. Sounds like a good challenge."

"What do you think, boss?" Levi said, immediately turning to Xanxus before voicing out his own opinion.

Xanxus hesitated. I stared at him anxiously. I really wanted to go. I mean, come on! How often do you get to see the Varia assassins actually ASSASSINATING somebody? Also, from what Squalo told me, if Xanxus ever gets serious in a fight, he's badass. THAT was something I wanted to see.

Xanxus turned to me. More silence. Then….. "Well?"

"W-what?" I blinked at him. He scowled as he had to repeat his question.

"Do you want to come along?"

I nearly fell off my chair. "You're giving me a CHOICE?" I gasped.

His scowl deepened. "You always have a choice, brat."

I beamed. "Of course! Yes! I want to go! I really want to!"

Xanxus stared at me warily as I practically bounced on my chair in enthusiasm. His red eyes suddenly softened, and the corners of his mouth quirked up a bit, but before I could confirm if it was true or not he took a sip of the chardonnay. When he lowered his glass, he was composed again.

"Fine." He stood up. "If she gets hurt on this mission, you fail as a Varia member and I will burn you all, trash." Then he left.

* * *

><p>Xanxus waited until he was in his office, the door safely locked so nobody (ahem LEVI) would burst in unwanted at any present time.<p>

Then he groaned loudly in exhaustion and frustration and collapsed into his throne chair.

Ever since he teased Natsuki and called her pretty at that party a few days ago, he couldn't stop feeling embarrassed whenever he saw her. Sure, he was able to keep his emotions in check most of the time, but every so often she caught him by surprise and he would let his guard down.

Like just now, for instance. She looked so _happy_, jumping up and down like a child, practically bubbling with enthusiasm at the thought of joining them on their mission. With her eyes all bright and shiny and smiling like an idiot, she looked so _cu_ -

No. Wait. Xanxus - THE Xanxus - does NOT, repeat NOT, call someone cute. Ever.

Not even Sawada Natsuki.

At the very mention of her name, he felt a strange, uncomfortable warmness grow inside of him. It wasn't the blistering heat of anger or rage or hate that he was used to. It was a soft, buttery, melting feeling. It both comforted him and pissed him off considerably.

If he was, god forbid, falling in LOVE with that trash, he would never live it down.

_Love love love love love….._

"Shit!" He cursed aloud, gritting his teeth and reaching for a drink. When he realized there were none, his scowl deepened.

That goddamn BITCH somehow snuck out all of his alcohol when he wasn't looking! Now how was he supposed to forget this stupid warm feeling?

So, without any alcohol to nullify his emotions, Xanxus was forced to spend that night completely sober, mulling over these strange, unfamiliar emotions inside of him.

And it wasn't even the _feelings_ bit that bothered him much. It was the sober part that pissed him off.

* * *

><p>I was up bright and early in the morning. So early, in fact, that the Sun hadn't risen yet. It was hard, and I yawned stupidly as I shambled downstairs to make myself and the others a quick breakfast. Squalo told me to wake up at 3am since we had to leave early.<p>

I felt like some excited little kid going on a field trip. Except this field trip was a lesson in killing.

I was just about to make some bacon when I heard the sound of feet stomping in all their boot-covered glory towards me. I turned around and managed to duck before a hand slammed into the cupboard that was directly behind me.

"G-good morning, Xanxus." I said, trying to make my voice bright and chipper for the EXTREMELY pissed off man.

He glared at me fiercely. "You stole all my alcohol."

"Um, it wasn't me?" I tried to say, but he obviously didn't believe me.

"Okay, look, if you keep drinking you're going to destroy your liver!" I said, switching to 'annoying mother' mode in an attempt that if I kept blabbing on about livers and kidneys and the moral ethics of drunkards he might get bored and leave.

Didn't work out.

"_Where. Is. The. Alcohol?_" He hissed dangerously, leaning in closer to me so he could glare at me face-to-face.

"I don't know!" I yelped, attempting to make an escape, but I was trapped.

"If you threw it out, I swear to god you fucking trash, I will -"

"I didn't throw it out!"

Through all of this, I suddenly realized he was WAY too close to me. We were practically yelling into each other's faces. I blushed scarlet. Oh SHIT. Why did I have to be suddenly aware of him and our current position NOW? When he was like THIS close to me and could easily see my complexion which was currently the hue of a ripe tomato?

SHIT!

Then I looked at him, and if I wasn't feeling completely mortified right now I would have laughed. He looked surprised too, and his cheeks were red. RED.

There was a long silence, then we both suddenly made a move as if to get away. Somehow, that just made our faces get even closer. How the fuck did that even happen?

I looked at him, and oh shit I shouldn't have, because my eyes met with his blood-red ones and I had the strangest feeling that I was getting lost in those eyes, like they were some sort of high-powered vacuum or shit. Anyway, I couldn't look away.

Xanxus didn't look away from me either. It was the weirdest thing. Both of us would have been embarrassed by such close contact, yet neither of us seemed to care at the moment.

Then he slowly moved even closer. I closed my eyes slightly, tilting my head up. Our noses brushed against each other slightly and then -

"GOOD MORNING, SUKI-CHAN!"

* * *

><p>Lussuria was up and heading down to the kitchen. Despite the early morning, he was smiling and humming cheerfully to himself. To think that Natsuki would be going on a mission with them!<p>

After all, the last time when those assassins tried to kill her, Lussuria nearly cried. He was so scared for Natsuki's life, and seeing her look so beat-up and exhausted…..well, he definitely didn't want her all by herself anymore, that's for sure.

He smelled bacon before he entered the kitchen. Smiling delightedly, he sang out "GOOD MORNING, SUKI-CHAN!"

There was a loud crashing sound.

Lussuria entered the kitchen to find a rather interesting sight. Natsuki was on the ground, on her knees, clutching her forehead and muttering a stream of curses. A frying pan was lying on the kitchen floor, the half-cooked rashes of bacon dotting the ground around her. Xanxus was leaning against the counter, a hand on his forehead as well, swearing angrily under his breath.

Lussuria couldn't help but smirk. He knew something just happened and he ruined the moment. The way he could sense things like these almost matched up to the rare Vongola's hyper intuition.

"Ummm, did I - er - _interrupt_ something?" He giggled evilly.

Natsuki looked up to glare at him, her face bright red. "Excuse me? Interrupt? Interrupt what?" She snapped, sounding more and more panicked and flustered with each word.

Xanxus seemed more composed than the girl, but Lussuria could see the faintest of red dying his cheeks. "What are you talking about, trash?" He snarled at Lussuria. "That irritating brat stole all my alcohol. I was just about to beat the living shit out of her before you arrived. That's what happened."

"Mmm-hmm. Suuuuuuuuure~~," Lussuria sang, enjoying the sight when Natsuki turned even redder and Xanxus' scowl grew darker.

"You have five seconds to get out of my sight, trash." Xanxus pulled out his X-guns.

Natsuki suddenly jumped up and grabbed his gun-arm. "No, you idiot! You can't just go blazing your guns in the kitchen! I practically LIVE here!"

They glared at each other for a second, then suddenly both turned red and jumped away from each other like they were burned.

"….Return my alcohol to me when we return from the mission." Xanxus muttered before stalking out of the room.

"….I'll go make the breakfast." Natsuki mumbled, grabbing all the bacon and slapping them back onto the frying pan. With considerable force, she slammed the pan back onto the stove, then grabbed the spatula, turned to face Lussuria, and pointed it at him like it was a weapon.

"You. Saw. Nothing." She hissed. "Including the part where I dropped all this bacon. If you don't want to eat it, don't."

Then she turned back around and promptly ignored his existence.

Smirking, Lussuria slinked away to grab his fluffy-pink diary. Personally, he thought a simple lime-green leather cover would look more stylish, but if it was as pink, sparkly, and fluffy as possible, the other Varia members would avoid it like the plague.

He had to include this into his current entry. One day, when Natsuki and Xanxus finally got together, Lussuria wanted to be able to take out his diary, show them all these entries, and say "I told you so".

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: Oooh, looks like their relationship is finally starting to get going~~! Of course, Lussuria just HAD to interrupt XD<strong>

**Oh yeah, I have a new story up called If The Mermaid Loves The Shark, featuring our favourite shark-boy and an OC! **

**The basic storyline is that Squalo used to have a childhood friend and neighbour called Sirena, who is super in love with him, and when they were six he promised to marry her if she could beat him in a fight. After constantly being attacked 24/7, Squalo disappears to join the Varia. Eight years later, Sirena hunts him down and the love-crazed mayhem begins! **

**LOL if you do check out that other story don't forget this one too, or I'll be sad….**


	16. Chapter 16

Be With Me Chapter 16: The Caldo Family

"I'm booooo~red," I whined.

"VOOOOOOOOOIIII IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M THROWING YOU OFF A CLIFF!"

"WE'RE IN A FUCKING FOREST YOU IDIOT! THERE ARE NO CLIFFS HERE!"

"HOW WOULD YOU FUCKING KNOW?"

"I'M BORED OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND, DON'T YOU START WITH ME OR I SWEAR I WILL GO COMPLETELY BATSHIT ON YOU!"

The gleam of two guns flashed in the semi-darkness. "All of you trash shut the fuck up or you can answer to my X-guns."

Squalo and I shut up.

It's been probably four hours and I was expecting some matrix-slow-motion-like battle scenes, some sexy men in Armani suits, or at least a few gunfights and car chases. Instead, we've been hiking in some dark forest.

I hate it. I can barely see in front of me because the leaves of all the trees fan out like a ceiling and block out most of the sunlight, which means I keep on tripping over tree roots and rocks and shit like that. The air is humid and heavy and I can feel my clothes sticking to my skin. Since when was Italy this fucking hot?

Scowling, I fan myself with one hand and slap at a swarm of disgusting insects that chose to bother us. I wanted to yell some more, just for something to _do_, but to be honest I was more afraid of one of those bugs flying into my mouth than getting shot by Xanxus.

At the thought of Xanxus, my cheeks instantly flushed, and I was glad it was hard to see much of anything right now because I knew Lussuria and Bel wouldn't miss my blush.

Why was I so stupid? I almost kissed the bastard! No, wait - HE almost kissed ME.

But, aw _shit_ - I was totally going to let him.

At this time, my inner conscience decided to be a bitch and show up to screw with me.

_**You totally like him.**_

_No fucking way._

_**Then why did you guys almost-kiss? **_

_It was….a one-time thing. Like a one-night stand, except you know, rated PG13._

_**Don't lie to yourself. You are totally attracted to him. Isn't he so hot?**_

_The only thing that's hot around here is me. Both literally, physically, technically, visually, and metaphorically. Because this forest is too - damn - HOT!_

_**Is he attracted to you?**_

_Is he?_

_**If he was, what would you do? **_

At this point of time, I completely lost concentration and nearly tripped right on my face thanks to another tree root. Squalo caught me just in time.

"Watch it, woman!"

"Where ARE we?" I moaned. "Where are we even going? Wait….how come I don't know anything about this mission?"

Bel snickered. "Ushishishishi, it's okay, princess. Should the prince explain to you what we have to do?"

Squalo whacked him on the side of the head. "Explaining things is MY job, you brat. Go keep an eye on Levi or something, or he'll get lost again."

Bel scowled. "But the prince wants to stay with his princess!"

I saw the gleam of Xanxus' X-guns again and hurriedly shooed Bel away to the back of the group.

"Okay, so basically we got a message from Nono about some Caldo Family. There's been rumours that the losers are skulking around doing deals in the Underground, so Nono's getting concerned."

"Hang on, who's the Caldo Family?" I interrupted.

Squalo huffed in annoyance. "Voi, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure. There's not much known about them, if there's one thing they're good at, it's keeping secrets and making sure no one finds out about them. Last I heard, they're apparently at the top of their game in the Underground. They've taken control of every major trafficking unit in the world."

"Trafficking?" I asked, disgusted.

Squalo grimaced as well as he swept aside a loose vine that was in his way. "Drugs, cigarettes, weaponry, women, you name it. Anything illegal that's shipped to anywhere is probably under the control of the Caldo Family."

"But what does that have to do with the Vongola?" I persisted, still kind of confused.

Lussuria, who was waking just behind us, spoke up. "Well, honey, they've been giving us a lot of trouble. They've stole women from towns the Vongola have placed protection under, they've attacked Vongola men, those kinds of things. It makes sense, really. If the Caldo Family want to rise from the Underground to take control of up above, the Vongola are the first familiga that should be destroyed."

I grimaced. "It sounds like a lot of trouble." I turned to Xanxus, and tried hard to keep my voice from shaking or stuttering. "S-so you guys are going to kill them?" He said nothing, but in the darkness, he might have nodded or something and I missed it.

Squalo smirked. "Take down their leader, some guy called Pesce Sciolto. If any trouble arises, kill off his guardians as well."

"You sound incredibly happy." I noted.

"Voooooii! Of course! Do you know how long it's been since I've killed someone?"

"Oi, trash, shut up. We're here." Xanxus suddenly spoke up from the head of the line.

"What do you mean? Where's 'here'?" I asked. I saw nothing but trees. Like I've seen for the past five hours.

"We're here." He said again.

I was about to tell him off and maybe annoy him a bit when suddenly, a flash of light appeared from the distance.

"Oh my fuck, it's the 'other side'."

"What the fuck is the 'other side'?" Squalo asked curiously.

"You know, when you're dying everything is dark, and suddenly you see a tunnel of light appear in the distance and it slowly gets closer and closer. Once you step across, you're on the 'other side'."

"VOOOOOOOOOOOIII, WE'RE NOT DEAD!"

"If boredom could kill I would be." I mumbled under my breath.

The pinprick of light grew larger and larger until suddenly, we all stumbled out into a deserted road.

"Where are we?" I tried looking for any sign, but all I could see was the dusty, empty road before us, and the thick tangle of forestry behind us.

"Ushishishishi, is this really where we'll find the Caldo Family?" Bel grinned.

"Muu, don't be stupid." Mammon said, floating up somewhere level with our heads. "We have to walk a bit before we go to town. There, we should find enough information to get our hands on the Caldo Family HQ."

"MORE walking?" I yelped in exasperation. "I refuse! My legs are killing me!"

Squalo rolled his eyes. "I knew we should have left you home."

* * *

><p>I won't mention the details of our journey. Let's just say it took about ten minutes for Squalo and I to yell into each other's faces before Xanxus got pissed and told me to shut the fuck up. Then he ordered Mammon to illusion away my exhaustion or get Squalo to carry me or whatever, just as long as I didn't open my mouth.<p>

As soon as his back was turned, I promptly had a furious (but completely silent) battle where I tried to get Squalo to piggyback me, which he responded just as silently with a _No the hell fucking way bitch, walk on your own legs!_ which then resulted in us bickering and fighting the entire time (albeit silently).

Then I realized during the entire time, we managed to make it to the town. One look at Xanxus' rather smug face and I immediately figured out that he knew Squalo and I would fight, and that it would distract me all the way there.

That was both genius and dickish on his part.

But anyway, this town, Luglio, was pretty freaking huge. And crowded. For a town that we reached by a deserted road like in the movies or something, it was like we arrived in fucking Las Vegas or something.

With the giant pyramids and shit, too, because some of the skyscrapers they had in this town were AMAZING. Yes, they had skyscrapers. And they were actually so tall they truly did scrape the sky.

I stuck close to the Varia to avoid getting lost. There were so many people I thought some sort of activity was going on.

"How are we supposed to find anything?" I yelled, forced to raise my voice or they'll never hear me.

"I don't fucking know!" Squalo yelled back, sounding a bit pissed. "We'll grab somebody who looks suspicious and torture the little fucker until he spills!"

"Ushishishishi, I like that plan." Bel grinned, then scowled when someone accidentally got too near him. Knives appeared out from nowhere. "I want to kill all these people. They are crowding the prince."

Levi looked irritated. "Bel, you can't just kill people because they're too close to you."

Bel grinned his Cheshire Cat smile. "Ushishishishi….I think I saw some men eyeing our princess."

Instantly, shadows crossed the Varia's faces and weapons were whipped out.

Shit! "Guys, calm down! Bel's just joking!" I said hastily (Xanxus looked just about ready to destroy everything). "Bel, don't say that!"

Bel grinned. "'But it's true."

"Eh? Really?" I felt flattered. "Where are they? Who are these men? Are they cute? How are they looking at me? Like, admiring or lewd?"

Xanxus gave what sounded like a low snarl before grabbing the back of my head and then jerking his arm forwards, forcing me to stumble towards the front with him.

"Stop being fucking annoying and help us look, trash." He growled.

"Touchy," I muttered, but started to look anyways.

Suddenly, an announcement on the speakers in the town square turned on. **"Attention, everybody! Your heroes have arrived!"**

The entire crowd of people suddenly started cheering and moving towards the center of the square.

"What's going on?" I asked a passing girl who looked about my age.

"The heroes are here!" She squealed. "They take care of this city! They are so amazing. They're, like, businessmen or something!"

I watched in disbelief as a platform suddenly started to rise up from the ground. Standing on the platform were seven people. The crowd went wild.

"**Coming back from all the way from Hawaii, I present to you….Pietra!"**

An extremely muscular man around Lussuria's age with a square chin nodded and flexed his muscles.

"**Scimmia!"**

A small boy (maybe Tsuna's age or younger) with large ears grinned goofily and jumped up and down, blowing kisses to the audience. He reminded me of a monkey, the way he bounced all over the place.

"**Aragosta!"**

An extremely tall man, a bit older than Xanxus, bowed. He had the coolest moustache I've ever seen. They looked almost like whiskers, kinda like those old Chinese men, except he didn't have the beard and his hair was black.

"**Riso!"**

A beautiful and voluptuous young woman around my age wearing skin-tight clothes giggled and winked flirtatiously at the audience. Men wolf-whistled and hooted at her (I already didn't like her).

"**Respiro!"**

A cold, aloof-looking boy that looked around nineteen nodded curtly, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He flicked his blonde hair out of his eyes, and I distinctly heard a few girls sigh.

"**Maledire!"**

A woman who looked like a prettier and slightly less scary version of the Grudge nodded. Her long, stringy black hair hung over her face, which was pale and gaunt. She looked like she was on crack or something.

"**And finally….Pesce Sciolto!"**

An extremely handsome man around my age smiled a bit and tipped his hat. Girls swooned. He had olive-toned skin, a straight nose, dark and serious eyes, and despite his fancy Armani suit (finally!) you could totally see he had muscles.

He was undeniably gorgeous.

"Well, looks like we found them." Bel muttered under his breath. "Ushishishishi, these peasants are so stupid, showing off like that when anyone could take them out."

Xanxus said nothing. He was too preoccupied glaring at that certain Pesce Sciolto. His eyes flickered over to me, where I was still swooning on the spot. A dark shadow crossed his face.

Pesce Sciolto was a dead man, one way or another.

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: Hey, guys! Sorry for the sudden OC-madness, but these OC peeps are gonna be important if you want to watch the Varia kick epic ass. And sorry I didn't put in a lot of action, but there will be plenty next chappie, I promise! <strong>

**This is my very first major story arc, and it's not just to fill up the middle of the story. This arc will bring Natsuki closer to the Varia, and also starts to build up more of the relationship between her and Xanxus.**

**I hereby dub thee the CALDO ARC TROLLOLOLOLOL XD**

**But anyway, the leader of the Caldo Family has the weirdest name in the world. Seriously. I was just screwing around with Google Translator and suddenly I found these names. They sounded cool (in Italian, I mean) so I used them. **

**Pesce means "fish" and Sciolto means "loose".**

**Pietra means "stone".**

**Scimmia means "monkey".**

**Aragosta means "lobster".**

**Riso means "rice".**

**Respiro means "breath".**

**Maledire means "curse".**

**The town Luglio means "July".**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Eroi di Luglio

I started to freak out when I saw Xanxus raising his X-guns.

"W-wait! What are you doing?" I attempted to shove his arm back down, but DAMN he had biceps of steel. He looked down to glare at me. "My trash target is in front of me. I'm going to kill him, then go back home for a shot and a nap. Got any problems?"

"Actually, I do." I scowled. "You can't just go shooting in the middle of a crowded area! You'll hurt innocent people!"

They all gave me blank faces. Hmm….maybe the guilt shtick wasn't the right way to go?

"Okay, think about it this way then….what if those aren't real? What if they're like illusions or something, and when you shoot at them they just disappear. You'll give us all away."

I was met with shocked and (dare I say) impressed looks. Squalo gave a low whistle. "You could make one hell of an assassin, woman." Now, THAT was praise. I beamed smugly. "Of course I could. I'm NATSUKI." I said, smirking and striking a pose. "But anyway, where are we?"

"Somewhere in Sicily, I think." Levi examined a giant map. "Boss, what's the plan on dealing with the Caldo Family?"

Xanxus was silent for a few seconds. Then, "We kill all those trashes at once."

The Varia all gave bloodthirsty grins. "_Excellent_," Bel sadistically purred. "The prince is getting excited."

"You guys are all fucked up, just saying." I muttered, although to tell you the truth even I was getting pretty worked up. It's not every day you can watch a live assassination take place. Although, considering all the pent-up energy the Varia had (it is NOT a good idea to let them stay in their house for a whole week), I'm pretty sure I'll be witnessing a full-out massacre of the Caldo Family.

I actually felt kind of bad for that Pesce Sciolto. He was - if I may say - pretty fucking gorgeous. And he was _Italian_ And he wore _Armani suits_.

"Can we spare the boss?" I asked nonchalantly to the group of killers. "I'm pretty sure he's my soul mate."

Xanxus scowled darkly at that, but I didn't catch it.

"Ooh, do you have a crush?" Lussuria cooed. "Unfortunately, honey, we have orders to kill. I'll let you play with him before, how about that?"

I made a face. "Ew, no. What's the point in being with my soul mate if he's just going to die afterwards? I'll find a new soul mate, thank you very much."

Squalo rolled his eyes. "Do you even know what a soul mate is?"

"I'm pretty sure YOU don't." I muttered.

"Shut. Up." Xanxus growled, rubbing his temple with his fingertips. "I'm getting a headache and the trashy-ass sun is boiling. There better be a decent bar in this town or I'll destroy it all."

I looked up at the brilliant blue sky and squinted. The sun really WAS beating down on us. I ignored the annoying voice of the announcer, instead focusing on each one of the so-called 'businessmen' still smiling and waving on the stage in front of me. Soul mate or not, I wasn't very pleased that they were tricking all these people. They were making themselves out as 'heroes', yet the townspeople didn't even know what they REALLY did.

I saw a bar, the _Cavallo Nero_, and quickly dragged Xanxus towards it before he could do anything. I flinched, realizing we were the only people moving in the direction _away_ from the charming assassins, and not towards them.

I could have sworn that sexy Pesce Sciolto's dark eyes flickered in my direction as we moved away.

* * *

><p>"<em>Buon pomeriggio<em>, _signorina_." The bartender said as we filed inside. It was a relief being inside the rather crowded, buzzing room. It was air-conditioned, and everything was dark wood, which gave it a blissful dark feeling.

"Good afternoon to you too, _signore_." I said smoothly, smiling at him as we sat on the stools in front of the bar counter. "We need some cool drinks over here. With ice." I counted out everyone's heads and said, "I think seven Maraschinos would do."

The bartender complied and poured out the cherry liquor into seven separate glasses. He slid them expertly to each person, who caught them equally as expertly in their hands.

As soon as the glass touched Xanxus' fingertips, he raised it and gulped it down. I sipped mine, revelling as the cool drink washed down my parched throat. That trek through the jungle was a killer.

"Are you sure those two can drink?" The bartender asked nervously, jerking his head towards Bel and Mammon.

"It's fine." I said calmly, already way too used to Bel's underage drinking. As for Mammon - well, Mammon fucks up the age system.

The wide-screen televisions that all bars seemed to have were on, each one on the same channel and showing the same thing - the square outside, and the seven 'heroes' on the stage.

"Er, _signore_?" I asked, flashing a dazzling smile at the bartender. "We are tourists to Luglio, and we don't quite understand who those people on the stage are." I feigned innocent curiosity in my voice and made sure the man could see my big brown eyes sparkle. "Are they pop idols?"

"Eh, the Caldo Inc.?" The bartender asked, looking rather flattered as I batted my eyelashes at him. Squalo rolled his eyes at my flirting, and Xanxus looked about ready to break something - preferably, the bartender's bones. I quickly slid my half-full glass towards him and returned my attentions to the man.

"Not much is known about them, but they are the top businessmen for the Caldo Inc." He explained. "A while ago, Luglio used to be a ghost town. Mafioso targeted us and drained us of our assets and supplies. We would have all folded over, gone bankrupt, and starve to death if Caldo Inc. didn't come to save us. They bought out every single building in this town and then gave it back to us without asking for a single thing in return. They truly are heroes. They're often referred to as the _Eroi di Luglio_. The Heroes of Luglio. If it wasn't for their compassion, Luglio wouldn't be the prosperous, busy town it is today."

I nodded, pretending to look interested and impressed at his hero story. Inside, my mind was whirring with the new information.

So, a recap in MY perspective:

Luglio was targeted by other Mafia, and once the Caldo Family bought them out they feigned kindness and gained the trust of everyone here. This gave them total dominance and power in the town, which means that whatever they want the townspeople of Luglio would go on their hands and knees to give it to them. Fuck, that pissed me off.

I looked up at the television screen above me. The cameraman was zooming in to show each guardian.

I noticed the cameraman rested much longer on Riso (the curvy girl around my age whom I was beginning to think of as a nasty skank, moreover a skank who was more popular than me, which pissed me off to no limit), Respiro (the cold, aloof, and handsome 19-year-old with the blonde hair and icy blue eyes), and Sciolto (the sexy, sexy, sexy Caldo Family leader with the Armani suits, thank god, he totally fits into my Italian Mafia-man fantasy).

Then I froze. When the camera rested on Sciolto, he seemed to suddenly stiffen up a bit. It was a very slight jolt in his body, but I noticed it nonetheless (maybe because I was staring at his muscles, but whatever).

Then he turned and stared directly at the camera.

I gave a slight gasp under my breath, quiet enough that only Xanxus and Squalo (who sat on either side of me) could hear.

I could have sworn that, no fucking lie, he was looking. At me. Through a motherfucking _camera_.

It was, without doubt, the scariest shit I've ever seen. It was like in that movie the Ring, and I swear to god I wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly jumped into the camera, through the television screen, and popped out to stab me.

Except he would be way sexier than that drowned well-girl from the Ring.

"What?" Squalo muttered under his breath.

"I have the weirdest feeling he's looking at me through the camera."

"You're just fantasizing." Xanxus said, sounding way grumpier and sulkier than he needed to be.

I lightly stomped on his foot. "Shut up. I'm serious." To anyone else in the room, it was like he was simply looking at the camera, but I swear to god, his eyes were fixated only on ME and there were these creepy-ass chills running up and down my spine. He might as well have been standing right in front of me, staring into my eyes. That was the feeling I had.

Squalo narrowed his eyes at the camera, then turned to the baby Arcobaleno sitting on the counter beside him. "Mammon, what do you think?"

Mammon looked up at the screen, looking lost in thought (or at least, I think he was, it's hard to tell with that hood). "It's possible. He might be focusing on Natsuki, knowing she's watching. He did look at her when we entered the bar."

"See? See? What did I say?" I whispered excitedly.

"Shut up." Squalo advised me.

"Maybe he thinks our princess is attractive?" Bel grinned. "Maybe he wants to hunt her down and woo her."

I instantly blushed. "You flatter me, Prince Belphegor."

Xanxus seemed to snap. He looked up at the television screen, where Sciolto was still staring (hopefully) at me. He narrowed his eyes, and suddenly the air around him seemed to grow even colder.

I could practically see his Flames of Wrath-whatever melting into his aura. It was kind of frightening in a way. I've never seen him this pissed off before, even when we hated each other.

I had no idea if it was by coincidence, or if Xanxus' furious aura did something, but Sciolto turned away and instead opted to smiling loosely at the crowd.

I could practically hear the girls screaming, even though the volume was muted. Oh, wait, that was because they were just outside.

I turned to look at Xanxus, but he ignored me and demanded for the bartender to fill up his glass.

"How many Maraschinos did you have already?" I asked him incredulously. He said nothing and stared straight ahead. I scowled and pulled at his sleeve. "Don't ignore me, you bastard!"

He turned and glared at me. Despite the chills that ran down my spine at the intensity of his glare, I sat my ground and glared right back.

"Don't get drunk." I said, as forceful as I could manage (but still whispering so the bartender couldn't hear). "If you're wasted you won't do your job properly, and we can't leave until these Caldo bastards all burn to the ground."

He was silent for a few moments. "Even your precious _soul mate_?" He taunted.

"I'll find a new one." I shrugged. "I'm just a shallow, petty girl. I'll fall in love quickly and lost interest even quicker."

He stared at me, the sudden anger in his eyes gone. Then, to my shock, one side of his mouth quirked up before he turned away.

Oh shit. Was I turning red?

I'm blaming the Maraschinos.

* * *

><p>I noticed Bel whispering something to the bartender, who nodded and disappeared in the back of the bar. He reappeared seconds later with a glass filled up with something. He gave it to me.<p>

"What's this?" I asked sweetly, trying not to appear suspicious.

"This is a special mix of liquor called _Bevanda di Fuoco_ - Fiery Drink." The bartender explained. "That young man requested me to give it to you."

I leaned backwards off my stool so I could stare suspiciously at Bel, who smiled back. "Bel, what are you trying to pull?" I asked as angelically as I could manage.

"Ushishishishi, the prince just wants his princess to cool off a bit." Bel said with an innocent grin (or as innocent as that little brat could get). "Doesn't the princess want to try it? I heard it's the greatest alcoholic beverage in Sicily."

Okay….THAT got my mouth watering. Who couldn't resist Sicily liquor?

I took the glass and began to sip it. Fiery Drink couldn't describe the taste. It burned down my throat, yet it was icy-cold. It was glorious.

The instant I finished the glass, I wanted to strangle Bel.

That bastard did something to my drink! As soon as I finished it, I was dizzy, feverish, sweating, my head was spinning. I stumbled out of my seat.

"What's wrong, Suki-chan?" Lussuria asked me in concern.

"Air." I mumbled incoherently. Xanxus and Squalo's heads whipped around to glare daggers at Bel. "You brat, what did you do?" Squalo snapped.

"Ushishishishi, the prince doesn't know." Bel grinned even wider. "Maybe princess should go outside for some fresh air."

I stumbled out of the bar, gasping in relief when I got outside and I breathed in the fresh (albeit humid) air. Anything was better than the stale air inside the bar, which for some reason became unbearable.

Through blurry and hazy eyes, I saw the crowd still shrieking and cheering in the middle of the square. The figures on stage were unfocused. What the fuck?

I staggered towards the stage, tripping at the last second and I winced, prepared to fall face first into the stone like some sort of average drunkard. How embarrassing.

Instead, something soft cushioned my fall. I looked up and met the handsome, gorgeous face of Pesce Sciolto. It seemed like he had jumped off the stage and dashed forward when he saw me falling. He had an arm wrapped around my waist.

"Are you okay, _signorina_?" He asked me, his voice smooth and musical. Oh my lord. I know I said I could find another soul mate, but - _DAAAAAAYEM_.

I opened my mouth. "Eh…um…."

I could hear girls shrieking in both fangirlish delight and disappointment. I relished in being envied, but anyway.

His dark eyes gazed into mine, looking rather amused. "Where's your friends, _signorina_? Still at the bar?"

That sent chills down my spine. He WAS watching me, I wasn't being paranoid! He WAS staring at me through the camera! Take that, Xanxus you jealous bitch, I knew I wasn't just fantasizing!

Oh shit. Then he knew I was part of the Varia. Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

I attempted to straighten myself up, but the grip around my waist suddenly got deadly.

I heard a voice from the stage say out loud, "Sciolto, I think she's going to faint."

The amusement in Sciolto's dark eyes glittered even more. "You're right, Aragosta. She looks just about ready to pass out."

"What are you talking ab -" I started to stammer, before another hand snaked up to a junction in between my shoulder and neck and squeezed, hard.

Fuck that was my pressure point!

Instantly, I felt my vision go hazy. Then everything turned black and I really, truly passed out.

I am going to strangle that bastard Pesce Sciolto's sexy neck with my bare hands when I wake up.

Oh, and Belphegor, that sneaky little fucktard, don't forget good ol' Bel.

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: LOL you gotta feel sorry for Natsuki. Just what was Bel planning, making her drink that 'Fiery Drink'? (yes, I have the best naming sense). And what will Pesce Sciolto (the sexy Italian mafia-man of every girl's dreams) do with Natsuki?<strong>

**By the way, 'Caldo' means 'hot'. -_-**

'**Cuz Sciolto of the Caldo Family is 'hot'….get it?**

**Oh, and _Signorina _means 'young lady' in Italian. It sounds way nicer than _Signora_ which for some reason always reminds me of little old Italian grannies. Not that there's anything wrong with grannies from Italy, of course. Italian grandmothers, if you are reading this, know that you kick ass!**

**Anyway, I've been wondering what the Caldo Family looks like exactly. I could leave it to your imaginations, of course, but I might draw them out later. Except I don't know how to scan the pictures and put them on FF, so….bummer. Can anyone PM me some tips?**

**BTW whenever I think of Sciolto, I imagine like some cross-hybrid between Marco from Eyeshield 21, Gil from Pandora Hearts, and Sebastian from Black Butler. Cue the nosebleed.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Skankuage (Also Known As the Langauge of Skanks)

* * *

><p><strong>- WARNING - <strong>

**This chapter contains rather inappropriate subjects (like that'll stop you guys from reading) and random-ass hilarity. Includes (but not limited to):**

**Sexual references (although Natsuki probably doesn't know what she's talking about half the time anyway) **

**sexy Italian men in Armani suits (yes, we all know you want this)**

**the mysterious language of skanks, aka SKANKUAGE**

**total absolute mindfuckery (like usual)**

**You have been warned.**

* * *

><p>I woke up to an extremely killer headache, and pins and needles all over my body. Whatever that means.<p>

"Owwwww~~~," I groaned. "Fuuuuck~~~," I sat up, and remembered exactly what happened.

Bel coerced me into drinking that Fiery Drink shit, which although I admit was amazing had some really weird after effects.

Then I went outside for fresh air and somehow landed in the arms of a very sexy but nonetheless totally evil Pesce Sciolto (but _dayem_, did I mention he's sexy?).

Then the totally sexy _EVIL_ - ahem - Sciolto hit my pressure point (very discreetly, so his fans wouldn't see) and knocked me out under the pretences that I '_fainted_'. Fainted my ass, but anyway.

Now that I'm up, I'm in this really, really huge room. Like, super fancy and shit. It was air-conditioned, thank god, because Luglio is one mothertrippin' HOT town. I was lying in a really huge, fluffy bed that was so soft it reminded me of clouds. Or cotton candy. Or sheep. Other than a large closet that could easily fit like five people, a big fat rug on the marble floor, a mirror directly across from the bed, a window, and a huge-ass crystal chandelier above my head….there was nothing there.

And, weirdest shit ever….no door.

Well, FUCK. How do I get out? Through the window?

When I made to get up off the bed, I heard the clanking of chains and a force stopping me from moving. I looked to the side, only to realise my wrists were chained to the bedposts.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. I'M GOING TO GET RAPED.

Seriously, I'm freaking out here. I'm kidnapped and locked in a room with no door and I'm chained to the bed and I'm going to get raped and they'll videotape it like some creepy-ass porno and sell it to the Underground douches to watch while they're second-rate sluts look jealous at my sexiness. But anyway, this is serious.

"You're not going to get raped."

I shrieked loudly like a banshee and whirled around to see someone sitting on a fancy armchair to the side of the bed. It was that really handsome teenager with the windswept blonde hair and icy-cold blue eyes, Respiro. He was so quiet, I didn't even notice his presence.

"How the fuck do you know what I was thinking?" I demanded, still freaking out. No matter how gorgeous he is, I do NOT want to be raped by a nineteen-year-old. That's just too humiliating for words. If I am going to do anything, it better be with that sexy Pesce Sciolto. But ANYWAY.

"It's obvious what you're thinking." Respiro said in a quiet, almost unemotional voice. "Don't worry, we won't do anything to you. The chains are there as a simple cautionary restraint. I have orders from Master Sciolto to remove them if you behave."

I hesitated, my guard still up. "Why am I here? You can't just go kidnapping random drunk girls on the street, no matter how hot they are."

"Why are the Varia in Luglio?" Respiro answered calmly.

This guy was a hard nut to crack. Hah, he doesn't know who he's messing with. I live with the Varia and I know exactly one hundred and thirty-two ways to annoy the shit out of people. One way was very simple, and used especially if you were being interrogated. Works even better if you're bored.

Just feign being clueless and dodge the question at all costs.

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm sure you do." His cold eyes looked into mine, unemotional and merciless.

"No, I mean, I actually don't. This Sciolto guy has the wrong girl."

"Master Sciolto is never wrong." There was a steely edge to Respiro's voice now. Looks like his 'Master Sciolto' was a touchy subject.

I sighed. "Fine, you win. To tell you the truth, the Varia are here for a vacation."

I could see Respiro's eye twitching slightly. He was already losing his cool. "Do you know who I am?"

"No." I blinked up at him innocently.

"I am Ghiaccio Respiro, Second in Command and Cloud Guardian to Pesce Sciolto of the Caldo Family, the largest Mafia family in the Underground."

"Oooh, I've got chills." I said sarcastically. "And I'm Sawada Natsuki, older sister to Sawada Tsunayoshi, the future Boss of the Vongola Family, the strongest Mafia family in the world. Above AND under ground. Oh, and I'm the Varia's maid."

Respiro looked a little shocked as I matched him word for word. He quickly struggled to regain his composure. "You should be lucky that I have no orders to hurt you. If Master Sciolto wishes, I'd rip you apart in an instant."

I scoffed at him. "Rip me apart? Is that the best threat you can think of? You obviously have not seen me when I'm on a waffle rant."

Respiro, very wisely, chose not to comment on that. He was already looking at me as though I lost my sanity.

He stood up. "If you behave and follow Master Sciolto's wishes, I can remove your restraints and allow you to move around freely. However, you cannot leave this room."

"How can I anyway? There's no door!" I snapped. "Did you get me here through the window?"

Respiro turned towards the window silently. "That's a fake. This room has no windows or doors. Riso must have forced Aragosta to paint that. She likes to tease others like that."

I stared at the 'window'. It was so lifelike it actually looked 3D. Of course, when I looked closer, it wasn't 3D, and although the tips of the trees were in the motion of moving through a breeze, they stayed motionless.

"I take it Aragosta is an artist, then?" I asked curiously. If I could force Respiro to give me information about each guardian's abilities, then maybe I could let the Varia know somehow.

Respiro said nothing. Suddenly, the mirror began to warp and bend. Water-like ripples began to float on its surface, before the entire reflection seemed to twist like in those creepy House of Mirrors amusement park shit and a leg appeared out of the mirror.

A leg that was encased in fishnet stockings and a super-long, deadly black stiletto heel.

* * *

><p>"Ah, shit." I muttered as the rest of the body appeared. The curvaceous and seductive Riso girl stepped into the room, wearing a low-cut black mini-dress that seemed to cling to her body like a wrap. Her fishnet stockings were hung up by black garters.<p>

"Respiro, darling," She cooed. "Scippy wants you."

I instantly hated everything about her, from her beautifully proportioned face, her lustrous dark curls, her big boobs, her long legs, her dainty fingers, her sweet-yet-husky voice, the way she gave such a doting nickname to Sciolto….._I hate this bitch. _

And ooh~~ man, she's gonna wish they never kidnapped me by the time I'm done pissing her off.

Respiro nodded at her words and instantly made his way towards the mirror. He stepped through as though it were nothing, although as soon as he was gone the reflection instantly smoothed out and it appeared just as solid as before.

And it was just me and that Riso girl.

"So, what's your deal with the Varia?" She asked curiously. I said nothing and looked at her with a blank face.

"You know, the Varia? Greatest assassin squad in the world?" She repeated, starting to use a scathing baby-talk voice as though I was retarded or something. I continued staring at her with a blank face.

* * *

><p>About ten minutes later, the mirror rippled again, and two men walked inside. I recognized the super-muscular guy as Pietra, and the adorable little monkey-boy as Scimmia.<p>

"How's the interrogation going, Riso?" Pietra asked, his voice deep and burly.

"She won't say anything!" Riso yelled in exasperation, her carefully composed structure already ripped to pieces. Her hair was starting to lose its glossiness and was starting to frizz up. Her eyes, before half-closed and seductive, were wide-open and crazy-looking. Her pretty face was twisted up in the absolute most pissed off expression imaginable. "She just stares at me! Is this bitch mentally retarded or something?"

Ha, I knew her super-sweet tone was all an act. I looked up at her and said in a monotonous voice, "I'm sorry, but I can't understand you. I don't speak Skankuage."

Pietra snorted and burst out laughing. Even Scimmia started giggling like a middle-schooler - oh wait, he is one. Riso blushed and scowled.

"Excuse me, bitch? I am not a skank!"

"Uh-huh, I can totally tell that from your outfit." I snickered. "Where did you buy that dress, Riso, darling? Slut Superstore?"

Riso's face turned an ugly, blotchy red colour. "You - you - you ugly little whore! You just say these things because you're jealous of my beauty!"

"Your beauty?" I snorted. "If beauty has to do with losing your virginity to douches, then go ahead and be beautiful. At least I have some self-dignity and womanly pride."

"At least I _lost_ my virginity." Riso sneered. "You're, what, twenty? Gonna life your life as a prude virgin?"

"I'd rather be a prude than go spreading my legs for everyone I see." I shot back, getting fired up immediately.

"You're an ugly-ass bitch!"

"And you're a skank!"

"You…you coconut-rapist!"

"Monkeyfucker!"

"Virgin Mary!"

"Poledancer!"

"Bitchwitch!"

"Slutwalker!"

"Asskisser!"

I smirked. "Sorry, can't understand Skankuage."

"AAAAAAARGH!" Riso yelled, her fingers twitching as though she wanted to strangle me.

Pietra and Scimmia were still laughing.

"I like her! She's so funny and pretty!" Scimmia chirped. He smiled cheerfully at me. "My name is Scimmia, _signorina_! I am the Sun Guardian for the Caldo Familiga!"

"Hi there, Scimmia, darling!" I cooed, instantly softening up at the too-adorable-for-words guardian. "Can you be a dear and undo these handcuffs for me?"

"Anything for you, pretty _signorina_!" Scimmia chirped, pulling out a ring hanging from a chain around his neck. I glimpsed what looked like a snowflake embedded onto the surface of the ring before I heard a click and the handcuffs slackened. I pulled them off of me and sat up fully, stretching blissfully.

"What are you thinking, Scimmy?" Riso shrieked. "Scippy didn't say we could release her yet!"

"Actually, he said we could release the _signorina_ if she didn't make a fuss," Pietra piped up.

"Zip it Pietty!" Riso snarled into the burly man's direction. He ignored the skank and turned to me, smiling good-naturedly. "I am Pietra, the Thunder Guardian."

"Thanks, dude." I said breezily, standing up and stretching my legs. "But hey, this mirror portal thing is pretty cool. How did you get it to work?"

I walked closer to it, examining it curiously. Scimmia's smile faded slightly and Pietra started to look worried. "Ah, you should probably move away from there, _signorina_, in case _signore_ Pesce gets angry…."

"Oh come on, it's not that big of a deal." I scoffed. Even Riso started to look nervous. "Hey, you nasty bitch, you better get away from that portal!"

"Why?" I asked innocently. "In case I do…..this?"

My fingers 'accidentally' brushed against the surface.

Instantly, I felt a pull somewhere near my navel and something jerked me towards the mirror. Instead of slamming face-first into the hard surface I felt like I was going underwater, except I was dry and there were no bubbles or blue tint to everything.

Then, suddenly, I was on the other side of the seemingly identical mirror, standing in the middle of a hallway.

It looked like a castle from something out of Alice in Wonderland. The floor tiles were black and white squares, and every so often the squares turned retarded and swirled into weird shapes, ending in spirals only to start out as squares yet again.

The walls were lit with flickering torches that spouted out pink and orange flames (which, when I brushed my fingers through it, didn't burn, and yes I am stupid enough to try this, but good kids shouldn't do this at home), whilst small glass chandeliers hung from the arched ceilings.

As I was staring at the walls (which were covered in everything from random thick red curtains to paintings of old-fashioned snobs who looked like someone shoved a pole up their ass), when I remembered the mirror-portal.

Quickly, I turned around and ripped the mirror off the wall. It fell to the ground and the glass shattered (just like real glass, which further increased my confusion and the overall mindfuckery of this).

So, I got out of my interrogation room. Now, I had to find a way out of this Wonderland-ripoff and head back to the Varia.

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: Heeey everybody! Sorry for the wait D:<strong>

**Yeah turns out I wasn't going to have the relaxing, stress-free March Break I thought I'd have. I had to follow my mom to yoga classes and visit my godmother and so on.**

**Anyway the next chappie might take a while, because it's gonna be pretty long. That's right! It'll show what's going on in the Varia's POV as well as Natsuki's POV as each tries to find the other. Will the Caldo Family meet up with the Varia in the end? We shall see!**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Fuck My Life

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><p>Fuck my life.<p>

I've been walking in circles for hours, I swear to god. I am absolutely certain I saw this pattern in the floor before, and that curtain, and that painting.

Or I could just be going mentally insane, because really, every single hallway in this castle _looks exactly the freaking same_.

Since it seemed like I was going nowhere, I let my mind wander a bit. I wonder what happened to Peitra, Scimmia, and Riso? I broke the mirror, right? Were they trapped in that room, for ever and until eternity (or when they get fed up and destroy the room)?

Actually, how the FUCK did that mirror turn into a portal-thing anyway?

This is taking forever. I try to look out the window, but every single window is painted. They look real enough, but if you try to touch the glass, it's nothing but smooth wall. Seriously, is this place a jail or something? And what's the point in painting windows anyway? To fuck with you?

Oh, right. I think Respiro mentioned something about Aragosta painting these. The dude with the spectacular Chinese-old-man-moustache.

Okay, I was getting REALLY bored now. I actually wished someone could come and stop me from escaping, preferably Respiro or that sexy piece of eye-candy Sciolto. But noooo, I was forced to walk in (apparent) circles in a retarded Alice in Wonderland ripoff castle.

I finally came across a dead end, which was the most interesting thing I've seen so far. It was circular, with a ceiling that caved inwards until it met upwards like a circus tent. The walls were covered by a thick, dark curtain. The floor tiles were shaped into a spiral, its point in the exact middle of the room.

It was only when I heard the sound of trickling water that I realized something was genuinely retarded around here.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hole opened up in the middle of the spiralled floor at its point, and I watched in faint bemusement as a trickle of water started to come out of the hole…and _fall upwards_ until it hit the circus-tent ceiling.

The trickle turned into a stream, which turned into a torrent, which turned into a whole ginormously fucking-huge WATERFALL.

And you just see me standing there with the most confused expression on my face (I can rock the WTF-IS-HAPPENING look _so_ well) as I watch the roaring waterfall soar upwards until it hit the ceiling. It then pooled around until the entire ceiling was covered in the water.

This was like watching a waterfall upside down. Or something that happens straight out of a Pirates of the Caribbean movie or something….

Slowly, the waterfall slowed down, until only the tiniest stream of water trickled upwards to the pool on the ceiling.

I did not understand this.

Question is: should I investigate this extremely-fucked-up phenomenon or should I pretend I didn't see anything and leave?

Yeah, I should just leave.

* * *

><p>Bel just barely managed to dodge the glass of tequila that Xanxus had thrown at him. It smashed against the wall and begun to trickle downwards.<p>

"_WHERE. THE FUCK. IS. NATSUKI?_" Xanxus hissed, livid and furious. The rest of the Varia members were already on the other side of the bar, trying to get as far away from their angry boss as possible without actually leaving the bar, because hell would come to those unfortunates that try to escape from their boss' presence without his heavenly permission.

"Ushishishishi, calm down, boss." Bel grinned his usual easygoing, laidback Cheshire Cat smile, but he was starting to sweat. An angry Xanxus didn't equal a happy (and unharmed) Belphegor.

"The princess is fine, boss. They won't hurt her." Bel tried to assure him. _If she can keep her mouth shut long enough, that is. But knowing our princess, she'll try to piss them off as much as possible…._

"VOOOOOOOOOOIII, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, BELPHEGOR?" Squalo roared, looking pretty angry himself. "SHE MIGHT GET HURT!"

Bel took his time to watch in amusement as the two strongest assassins in the world got themselves all hot and bothered over a girl. It certainly was a rare sight.

Hell, it was a rare sight to see them get worked up over ANYONE.

Even Xanxus didn't bat an eyelash when his father got shoved into a giant life-sucking robot (well, technically, Xanxus was the one who did the shoving, but who's counting?).

Xanxus looked like he was going to seriously injure the poor prince.

"Ushishishishi, it's all going according to plan." Bel said quickly. "Princess is smarter than she looks. She'll either piss them off so much they won't go near her, or she'll trick them into letting her escape. Besides, I planted a tracking device on her before she left, so now we know the location of the Caldo Family Headquarters."

There was a long silence as the Varia tried not to look impressed. Xanxus threw another glass of Maraschino at him for good measure. "Well, what are you waiting for, trash? Get a move on!" He snapped.

Bel decided to make a face only when he was absolutely certain his boss' back was turned. Xanxus was so PUSHY when it came to Natsuki...after all, it was already pretty obvious that he was in love with her, although if he knew anything about his boss, Xanxus would deny his feelings until the last minute.

"By the way," Levi said finally, "Where's Mammon?"

* * *

><p>I decided to leave. I really, REALLY did not want to know what was going on here. But hey…I'm only human, right?<p>

So I decided to touch the water on the ceiling. This is really frustrating of me…

Of course, as soon as my fingertips brushed the water, really seriously retarded shit started happening. Next thing I knew, I was flying through the sky. I could have sworn I saw a red planet somewhere, which meant I might have been pulled into space and soon I'll die from lack of oxygen. Or that might just be because I won't stop screaming.

Then something hit the back of my head really, _really_ hard to the point I almost lost consciousness.

I blinked. I was practically lying on the ground. I was in the middle of a hallway. There were no upside-down whirlpools, no flying through space. Hell, there wasn't even a waterfall.

"Muu, so foolish. You were easily trapped, Natsuki." Said a very familiar voice.

I gasped and turned around so fast I almost got whiplash. "M-Mammon!" I gasped, rubbing the crick in my neck. The tiny baby scowled displeasingly at me - well, as much as a baby can anyway.

I gathered the Arcobaleno into a tight hug, earning a very startled (and strangely adorable) squeak from him. Then I released him (before he could do that gross tentacle thing). "How did you get in here? What happened? Are the others okay? They know we're here now, they tried to interrogate me but I mindfucked them - why is it just you? Are the others here?"

"Muu, shut up." Mammon said crossly. "I've followed you the entire way here, Bel informed me of his stupid plan just before he made you drink that ridiculous beverage. I hid myself using my illusion powers, but I have a feeling Maledire knows I'm somewhere in their Headquarters."

"Maledire?" That sounded familiar…oh, right! She was that sickly-looking woman with the long scraggly hair, pasty pale skin, and gaunt eyes. She seriously needed to go to the hospital. "How would she know?"

"She's the Mist Guardian, like me, I assume." Mammon grumbled. "She must have known you'd escape that interrogation room sooner or later, illusion traps are planted everywhere on this floor. You better stick with me or you'll never find your way out."

"Sure," I stood up, then - "Hey, wait a minute! Why should I trust you? For all I know, you could be another one of this Maledire bitch's illusions!"

Mammon unleashed his disgusting tentacle-face crap to make me hang upside-down by my ankle, effectively scaring the complete bullshit out of me. Then he dropped me on the ground and broke the illusion.

"Can't help but be suspicious…" I muttered to myself, massaging my ankle.

Mammon made a disgruntled sound, but I could have sworn he seemed proud of my paranoia, that I wasn't blindly following just about anybody. Who knows about that kid.

* * *

><p>"Vooooii, wait a minute, you brat!" Squalo growled. "So, without telling <em>anybody<em> else about it, not even your _superiors_, you drugged Natsuki's drink and _let_ her be kidnapped, assuming that _Mammon_ will be able to follow her into the Headquarters to _keep an eye on her_?"

"Ushishishi, exactly right, commander Squ." Bel grinned. "Wow, so you are smart after all."

"Vooooii, shut up you brat! And what the fuck were you thinking? Knowing Mammon, he'll ditch her for a fucking _penny_ lying on the ground! You just wait - if that baby is bribed by the enemy with money, Natsuki is as good as dea -"

An elbow connected with the side of Squalo's head. "Shut up, trash-shark," Xanxus snarled, looking even more tense than usual. He was stomping ahead, after stealing Bel's tracking device.

Squalo grumbled insults and profanities to himself, clutching the side of his head and blinking rapidly. "Son-of-a-fucking-bitch…" He muttered under his breath.

"Ooh, leave him alone, Squ!" Lussuria giggled, wriggling like an excited little boy on Christmas Eve. "He's just worried about his darling little Suki-chan!"

Squalo's eyes widened and he turned around to stare at his boss' back. And he was absolutely certain that Xanxus' shoulders were hunched up by the barest fraction of a degree.

A maniacal, evil grin spread on his face. "HA, so your rotten mood was because you're worried about that woman!" He howled with laughter. "Never thought you were 'that' type, boss!"

"_Shut. The. Fuck. Up._" Xanxus snarled without looking back, a hand on the holster of one of his X-guns.

Squalo stopped laughing, but he was still grinning demonically. And - although he really didn't want to admit it, because an image of Xanxus in love was impossible and slightly nauseating - it made perfect sense (he should have KNOWN when Xanxus didn't show any signs of wanting to kill Natsuki).

Lussuria, as usual, was over the moon. Bel was just grinning. Levi knew boss was pissed and kept a respectful distance.

Xanxus didn't want to turn around. They would see the red tinting his cheeks (RED, not blush, because Xanxus did NOT BLUSH).

_Fuck_, once he made sure Natsuki was safe and sound, he was going to _kill_ Bel. And anybody who bore the name Caldo.

He would be nice to his subordinates. He would let them kill their respective Guardians. Finding someone to defeat that Cloud Guardian, Respiro, would be difficult, considering they didn't have a Cloud Guardian. But Squalo should be up for the job. Once Bel was finished with his own prey - which shouldn't take long if he didn't play with him first - then he could deal with the leftover Rain Guardian. It should work out.

And Pesce Sciolto was his to deal with. Xanxus remembered the way Natsuki looked at him and almost growled out of jealousy.

NOT that he was jealous of course, because _fuck_, he was a _bad-fucking-ass assassin _and he DIDN'T get jealous.

But anyway, Pesce Sciolto was going to die. A slow and painful death.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you know where we're going?" I asked Mammon for what seemed like the millionth time.<p>

"Muu, of course," the baby snapped, floating along the identical hallways.

"Nooo, we've been walking for like HOURS and I don't see an exit sign anywhere," I argued.

"Muu, _you_ don't see it. I've already broken all the illusions. What you're looking at are illusions of the exact same hallways."

"The fuck? So what I'm seeing is different from what you're seeing?" Maybe this was what it was like to be high. Not that I've ever been high, of course. I may have joked about that with Squalo before, but I've never actually done anything so potentially body-wrecking before.

Speaking of Squalo…DAMMIT, I missed that stupid shark. And I missed Bel's sneaky smiles (that bastard, I still haven't forgiven him), Levi's worship towards his boss (the arguments he creates with Bel and Squalo are hilarious), Lussuria's flamboyant motherliness, even Xanxus'…well, just Xanxus.

Oh shit. At the thought of him, my cheeks instantly heated up. SHIT, this can_not_ be happening.

_Why why why why why_ does my brain instantly think about his intense red eyes and how they seemed to shine whenever he teased me, the way his angry scowl seemed to soften when he looked at me, the way the scar on his cheek changed shape whenever he spoke…

_AH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT_ -

"If you're done with your internal argument, can you please pay attention to where you're going?" Mammon snapped.

"Huh?" I blinked. There was a completely empty hallway before me. "What's up?"

"Illusions, you fool, illusions!" Mammon snapped, sounding irritated. "Follow me or get lost! You almost crashed into a wall!"

"Oh," I blinked, then hesitantly felt into the space in front of me. It was solid. "Well, fucksocks. Thanks, Mammon."

"Did you just say fu - you know what, never mind. I don't care anymore." The irritable baby glided away into a seemingly solid wall. I followed him confidently (okay, so I flinched _a little_) through the wall, which rippled like the surface of disturbed water (once again, MIRROR PORTAL) before opening up into a garden.

It was a very beautiful, Alice in Wonderland-styled garden. The grass seemed to twist and twirl into different shapes around the black-and-white stones. Fountains of pink water bubbled everywhere as multi-coloured birds shrieked and twittered over my head. The emerald-green bushes were all clipped and carefully carved into funny shapes. Most of them looked like bubbles.

Oh, and there were roses. Did I mention there were roses?

Red, blue, white, purple - hell, they even had GREEN ones - bloomed everywhere, even through the cracks in-between the stones under my feet. And they were so PRETTY…

"Don't touch anything," Mammon said sharply. Then he raised his little baby voice (okay, he's still SOOOO cute, even though he's like all-powerful and assassin-y). "I know you're here, Nebbia Maledire."

Suddenly, the space all around us rippled and wobbled, before shattering into tiny glass-like pieces. The illusion was broken.

The REAL garden we were standing in was dead. The stones were old, worn-out, and dusty with what looked like soot. The fountains were all dusty and cracked, the only water inside it dirty and greenish-brown. The shrubs and bushes were all dead, the leftover branches thin, spindly, and sharp.

The only thing that didn't change was the roses, except every single one of them was black. With sharp, nasty-looking thorns.

Sitting on the cracked rim of a particularly large fountain near us was the grudge-like lady, with the scraggly hair and pasty, unhealthy skin. She was wearing a long, Gothic black dress. The sleeves were fishnets that clung to her skin.

"So, you saw through the illusion, huh?" She said. Her voice was full of malice and mockery, yet was completely devoid of emotion. Actually, everything around here was fucked up, so I wasn't really surprised that she could be both monotonous and apeshit- mean at the same time.

"Muu, as if illusions as weak as those would trick me," Mammon snorted. Damn, this baby's got some serious bluffing skills.

"Hmm, _she_ seemed to buy it," Maledire pointed at me with one long finger. The nail was painted black and was sharpened to a point.

"She's not a fighter." Mammon said bluntly. "The idea of her being able to see through illusions is ridiculous. She's our cleaning lady."

"Hey!" I snapped, feeling rather hurt. "Is that what you really think of me?"

"Of course," Mammon said smoothly. "But consider yourself lucky. With your looks, I would have already sold you to a brothel if boss wasn't interested in you."

"Aww, Mammon, that's sweet!" I don't exactly know what he just said, but it sounded as though he complimented my extreme beauty (a girl can dream right?). "No, wait - hey! WHO SAID THAT X-BASTARD WAS INTERESTED IN ME? FUCK YOU, MAMMON!"

Maledire rolled her gaunt eyes. "Are we done playing like children now?" She snapped.

"Not finished yet, you ugly grudge-hag!" I snapped. "Lay off the crack, will ya?"

She narrowed her eyes at me dangerously. "Excuse me?"

"Muu, shut up, Natsuki." Mammon advised. "And as soon as you can, get past Maledire and keep going along the path. There shouldn't be any more illusions after this."

"What about you?"

"I'm here to do my duty - kill the Caldo Family's Mist Guardian. Then I will go home and count my money."

"Mammon, you suck. You really do." I griped. "Shouldn't you at least be worried abo -"

My words died down into my throat. I looked down at my stomach in horror. Mammon did too.

A dagger with a black blade was embedded into my stomach.

I stared in shock and wonder as the red blood slowly seeped through the fabric of my shirt and begun to drip down my stomach. I coughed and tried to speak to the equally-horrified Mammon, but all that came out was a gurgle as blood dripped down the corner of my lips.

Maledire had just thrown a knife at me.

Smirking, Maledire began to giggle like a madwoman. "The minute you stepped out of the interrogation room, you were cursed, my dear." She cackled. "Cursed, cursed, cursed! And you know what they say - kill the weakest ones first."

I collapsed to my knees, clutching my stomach faintly.

_I don't want to die…_I thought weakly. I was sure I would be hyperventilating right now, but a weird numbness had spread through my body. It was like I was paralyzed. Which was good, because I didn't want to spend my dying breaths freaking out and going batshit insane.

And I didn't even get a chance to see the others again…I couldn't even say another word to Xanxus…

_And FUCK, I'll die and he'll spend the rest of his life thinking I fell for that Pesce Sciolto guy when I was just swooning over his sexiness. Shit shit shit, I'll never be able to explain it to him, because I'd be DEAD…_

No, wait. Not like I care…right?

Whatever. My vision's going blurry. Everything's turning black-and-white.

This fucking sucks. I'm going to die and everything won't even be in colour.

Ah, I don't think I can breathe anymore. Yup, my chest isn't moving. Fuck, I'm not breathing.

FUCK. MY. LIFE.

Yeah, it's hard for me to think right now. I can barely form a sen tence .

FUCK. I can't even talk in my head any more. I'm defin itely dead .

.

.

.

.

_!_

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: LE GASP! Am I going to kill off my OC in the 19<strong>**th**** chapter?**

**Okay, so it's pretty obvious she CANNOT die yet, because Natsuki is too badass to die and she's only just realized she's having feelings for Xanxus (well, more like she's aware of the feelings but she still wants to deny them).**

**But how is she going to be saved?**

**YOU TELL ME!**

**Actually no, don't. You can guess (and you'll probably be right, I'm really predictable), but you all know I'll just fuck with your minds anyway :D**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Oh My Fuck, I'm At Chapter 20 Already?

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><p><strong>(No, I'm joking, the real title)<strong>

Chapter 20: I Like Xanxus! No Wait, Never Mind

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><p>The last thing I remembered was that the evil grudge-bitch Maledire had stabbed me and now I was dying in a pool of my own blood.<p>

Then, suddenly, I was alive.

Weirdest feeling ever.

And I remembered falling on my hands and knees, unable to gain control of my limbs or any of my body at all, before collapsing to the ground and feeling numb, devoid of nothing but pain (which is the fucking WORST feeling, I'm telling you right now).

Suddenly, I feel like I'm leaning back, as if I'm going to fall backwards, only I can feel the smoothness of someone's shirt sleeve around my waist.

Is it satin? Velvet? No, but it's definitely some fancy rich material. I can feel its richness when it brushes against my bare arms.

Since I'm too weak to even open my eyes (or too lazy), I have deduced two things:

One) I actually am alive (YAY)

Two) A rich man has got a hold of me, and hopefully he is handsome and not some creepy pedophile (exactly what the FUCK is Mammon doing right now? Save me dammit!)

"Are you okay, _signorina _Natsuki?" A smooth, musical, velvety voice said, rushing through my ears like a chorus - no, an orchestra - of angels, all singing the songs of heaven.

My eyes fly open in a flash (okay, so I WAS being lazy before).

And my brown orbs meet up with the luscious, marble-round, dark windows to the soul that belongs to the extremely sexy hero Pesce Sciolto.

Okay, now that my eyes are open, I have deduced two more things:

One) Pesce Sciolto, probably the world's sexiest man alive, is holding me by my waist

Two) He knows my name and he said it through his sexy mouth

I can now officially die of happiness.

But…no, wait! What the hell? Where's Mammon? And Maledire? And wasn't I just stabbed?

Suddenly, I am ripped away from Sciolto's grip of me (NOOOOO!) and whisked about ten or twenty feet away from him. It was Mammon's tentacle-things (EEEYUUUUU).

The tentacle stuff dropped me none-too-gently onto the dusty, dead-leaves-strewn ground before Mammon. "Ow! Fucksocks, you little brat, I just got stabbed! Have some sympathy!"

I get up, rubbing my butt to get rid of any dirt or shit. Because seriously, this place needs to be swept up or something.

"You didn't get stabbed, moron. That was an illusion." Mammon said, scowling. "It started the second she pointed at you. You just imagined everything that had happened. You froze up and started to fall backwards, when _he_ suddenly appeared and caught you."

Maledire (who was still sitting on the cracked stone edge of the fountain) scowled heavily at Sciolto. "What was that for, Master Sciolto? If the illusion lasted any longer, I would have actually been able to kill her!"

Sciolto smiled charmingly at Maledire. "No, no, I'm afraid that can't do, Maledire. I gave specific orders not to touch _signorina_ Natsuki. She is important to me, I need her to continue my plans."

My brain stopped working after he said 'she is important to me', which meant I missed practically the entire important part of his words.

He smiled at me, and held out his arm all suave and cool, and said in his deliciously smooth voice, "_Signorina_, will you please accompany me to my office? I must get ready for the Varia's arrival."

Heck yeah! I'd accompany you anywhere!

I take a step forward.

"Muu, Natsuki, what are you doing?" Mammon snapped.

I ignore the annoying baby.

Step. Step. Step.

Ooh, he's so handsome, I feel giddy…

I hear an irritated sigh behind me. "Women," Mammon muttered, then he raised his voice.

"Oi! What about the Varia? And Xanxus?" Mammon demanded.

Pause.

FUCK.

Since when did I pass a chance to go off with a sexy Armani-suited man just for a bunch of rowdy, psychotic, insane _idiots_?

I tried to think rationally.

I tried to think of Pesce Sciolto, and how I've been looking for AGES for a hot guy to come around, one who's exactly my type, and how I'm actually considering walking away from one right now.

But the second I try to image Sciolto's face, intense, burning red eyes appear in my mind instead.

Followed by flashes of my memories. About HIM.

When he carried me after I fainted from exhaustion.

Whenever we teased each other and he was kind to me when he was drunk.

Whenever we fought and argued with each other when he was sober.

When the sample lady at the grocery store thought we were a couple.

Whenever I managed to make him embarrassed.

When he told me I was pretty.

Whenever he said my name rather than 'scum' or 'trash or 'woman'.

And suddenly, I found myself walking back to Mammon.

As soon as I did, I immediately facepalmed myself. "Argh, why am I doing this? Mammon, this is all your fault! I'm not buying you your favourite strawberry milk anymore!"

"Muu, fine, whatever." Mammon said, and although he was wearing a hood I knew he was rolling his little baby eyes at me.

I turned to a rather surprised Sciolto. "I'm really sorry, Sciolto-san. You are hot, sexy, mysterious, you wear Armani suits, you are my ultimate definition of a mafia man, and you are my ultimate dream guy."

I took a deep breath, grimacing as these words left my mouth.

"But...I think I like someone else."

* * *

><p>"Vooii, we're here." Squalo growled, for once keeping his voice down low. "This is the place?"<p>

It was a beautiful, lush mansion, right at the edge of town. Fountains were gushing crystal-clear water, and the grass was a perfect shade of emerald green.

"What a house," Levi mused.

Xanxus reached out his hand to touch the polished, gleaming gate. The second his fingertips touched the metal bars, there was a loud pulsing sound, followed by a reverberation.

The metal bar around Xanxus' fingers suddenly changed colour. Rust started to rapidly grow on the bar, and it began to increase and spread over the gate. The shiny grey metal colour began to turn brown, green, and yellow.

At the same time, the lush grass suddenly started to dry up, becoming brown and yellow.

The multiple fountains that were burbling happily trickled to a stop when the water stopped flowing. Cracks appeared in the stone, and large parts of it even fell off.

The bright trees that held colourful, juicy fruit begun to wither and die. The fruit rotted in the space of a minute and fell off the trees branches, which begun to shrivel up and turn dry and brittle.

And the house…the house was no longer the beautiful, spacious mansion.

It was now an extremely large, bricked facility, that looked suspiciously like a jail cell or a factory, especially since there were no windows, and the only windows it did have was on the very top floor and they were barred.

Bel whistled. "Fuu~~, what an illusion."

Squalo snorted. "You couldn't even see through _that_? You need to train harder, kid."

"Well, I am _sorry_ if I am not as observant as commander Squ. You know, it's the tiny little details like those that make me remember why I put up with you in the first place, Squ-chan."

"VOOOOO -"

"Shut up." Xanxus growled.

He pushed open the gate, which swung out with a loud creaking and shrieking sound from the rust. They all cringed at the high-pitched squealing (even if they were top assassins, that sound still bothers everyone's ears, okay?).

"Oh, dear, it looks like such a big house!" Lussuria sighed dramatically. "How are we _ever_ going to find Suki-chan in there?"

Xanxus said nothing, but stared harder at the tracking device control he held in his hand.

Bel noticed and grinned. "Ushishishi, go on, boss. Go ahead of us, we'll deal with the commoners and peasants that come our way."

In a flash, Xanxus had called out his Flames of Wrath and blasted a hole through the door. The entire section was blown off. He ran inside, without a care in the world, even when alarms started to sound off on the premises.

"What's boss' hurry?" Levi asked, sounding confused. "When working, boss is as calm as can please."

Bel grinned even wider. "Ushishishishi, Levi, you're such a lunkhead. Isn't it obvious? He wants to find the princess as quickly as he can."

Lussuria hummed, "Oh, young love!"

Squalo made a face. Levi looked even more confused.

* * *

><p>"No, wait, never mind. I don't like anyone."<p>

.

.

.

.

Sciolto, Mammon, and Maledire all stared at me as I fought with my own conflicting thoughts.

"I guess I kind of do - no, I don't, definitely not. Why would I like someone like _him_ - but, he is very kind and gentle to me - only when he's sober, so what's the big deal - so I think about him from time to time, it's not like I haven't noticed he's hot or anything - I mean, Sciolto-san is my total sexy dream guy, what am I doing - then again, he's, he's…AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH SHUT UP ALREADY!"

I turned to Maledire. "Hey, you, ghost-girl-bitch. Can you make me a spell or something that would let me forget my current feelings towards a bastard that I may currently have secret romantic affections for despite him being a total asshole?"

Maledire glowered at me, looking offended. "I'm an illusionist, not a wizard. And who the hell cares, anyway? You annoy me, I want to curse you! Master Sciolto, please…"

"No, Maledire," Sciolto chuckled, looking amused as he observed me. "_Signorina_, you are talking about _signor_ Xanxus, are you not?"

"WHAT THE FUCK MAKES YOU THINK IT'S _HIM_?" I shrieked at him.

"So it's not?" Sciolto asked, amusement glittering in his eyes.

Oh, god, I'm making such a fool of myself in front of him…

"Okay, yeah, so maybe…what if it is, huh?"

"Wouldn't it be so much easier if you deal with your feelings head-on? Why not meet him and figure it out then?"

"I totally would, you're a genius, Sciolto-san…_except I'm stuck in this GODFORSAKEN HELLHOLE OF AN ALICE IN WONDERLAND RIPOFF ILLUSION!_"

Maledire looked even more affronted. "My illusions are not a ripoff!" She started to say heatedly, but we all ignored her.

Sciolto smiled at me, making butterflies appear in my stomach. "Well, considering _signor_ Xanxus must be here to kill me, why don't you come with me? You would be able to meet him faster this way."

"Yeah, sure, why no - HEY! WOAH, WOAH, WOAH! RED FLAG GOING UP!"

I made an X sign with my arms. "That sounds very suspiciously similar to the excuse pedophiles use when they're going after little kids!"

"I beg your pardon?" Sciolto asked kindly. Man, he sure had patience. If this was Squalo, he'd be yelling at me the minute I opened my mouth.

"You know, when they go all, 'Hey, kid, you want a candy?' and the foolish naïve kids go all like 'Yeah, I want a candy', and he'd be like 'Come on and get it, it's in my car' and those poor little suckers follow the evil, disgusting pedo and he knocks them out and throws them into his car and drives off and performs evil nasty pedo things to their poor tortured souls before killing them and throwing them into a river."

There was a long silence. They were probably scared as hell. Hell, I was scared as hell!

I have an extremely good 'pedophile' voice, probably from all my years at drama club and theatre in my school days. Ah, school, how nostalgic…

Suddenly, an alarm sounded. Mammon heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank god. They're finally here."

"They? What do you mean…the Varia?" I gasped, suddenly feeling like a balloon was swelling in my chest. The Varia! God, it feels like years since I last saw them!

And shit, I actually missed them!

Not Xanxus, though. I didn't miss Xanxus. Because that would mean I care about him. Which I don't. Maybe a little. But not really.

Okay, anyway…

Sciolto started to look impatient. "_Signorina_, it is of the utmost importance that you are with me when I fight _signor_ Xanxus. May you please accompany me to find him now?"

"Nope," I say stubbornly and annoyingly. "I'm staying here. He'll find me, I know it. Stay here if you want, but if I were you, I'd run as far away as possible. You have a really good-looking face, and I don't want Xanxus to ruin it."

Sciolto narrowed his eyes slightly at what I was implying (if you didn't get it, what I was implying was that Xanxus would KICK HIS ASS), but said nothing.

Then he quietly said, "Maledire…would you please give me some privacy? I do not wish for you to get caught up in this mess should things get…ugly."

"Yes, Master Sciolto." Maledire said quickly, hopping off the fountain and bowing.

She turned to me and snarled. "You just wait, you annoyance. Once Master Sciolto finishes with the Varia, you will be of no use to him. I will make a voodoo doll out of you and bring you endless pain and torture before I curse you and send you to the depths of hell!"

"Maledire," Sciolto said warningly.

Maledire ducked her head, muttering profanites - or maybe curses, haha, get it? :D - at me before turning back and running down the dead garden. She rounded a corner and was out of sight.

"Damn it," Mammon hissed. He turned to me. "Stay here, Natsuki, and don't move. Boss will find you, Bel placed a tracker on you before you got kidnapped. I have to kill that nuisance as soon as possible." He glided away.

"BYE MAMMON! DON'T GET KILLED!" I yelled after him.

I don't know if he heard me or not, but if he did, he was kind enough to ignore it.

I turned to Sciolto, who was pulling out a rather rusty metal table into the middle of the garden. "Shall we have some tea while we wait?"

See? Why couldn't I like this guy? "Yeah, sure."

* * *

><p>Xanxus felt his breath catch slightly in his throat. Shit, it's been such a long time since he's run. Actually RUN.<p>

Usually he's either sitting in his throne-chair or flying around with his X-guns.

Sure, he could walk long distances - he'd be dead if he couldn't - but it's been so long since he's full-out _sprinted_.

And he didn't bother pacing himself either. He had to find Natsuki as soon as possible, before that bastard Pesce Sciolto did something inhumane to her.

He gritted his teeth, and for a second, his scars started to spread across his face.

_If that son of a bitch puts even ONE FINGER on Natsuki, I'll…_

Then he paused, almost stopping. Why did he care so much? Why did he miss that trash-woman's smile, or the way her eyes sparkled when she started laughing? Why did he like the way she blushed or grew flustered when he did something out of the ordinary, such as complimenting her?

And why did he feel so…threatened, when Natsuki was mesmerized by Pesce Sciolto's charm?

It wasn't like he needed to feel threatened, because Natsuki wasn't his possession…she was free to do whatever she wanted…

_Fuck, I don't have time for this!_ Xanxus growled in his mind. _I'll think about this after I rip off that fucking Sciolto's head_.

He whipped out the tracking control, and realized Natsuki was only a bit further ahead, in the garden.

Once he came to the door to the garden (which he realized for some reason looped around all over the headquarters like a snake), he blasted the entire wall out with one of his Flames of Wrath.

"Natsuki!" He yelled, panting and sweating as he rushed out to the garden.

Natsuki looked at him. She was sitting on a rusty chair with Pesce Sciolto, drinking tea.

"What?" She asked.

* * *

><p><strong>LOL poor Xanxus, worrying for nothing! XD<strong>

**Sorry this chappie is too short, I wanted to end it like this, so I'll make it up by writing a really long author's note (seriously, does anybody even read this babble anyway?).**

**I really should be studying for my Geography test right now, but I'm not because I love you more! :D**

**Seriously, you guys rock my world. I love my readers more than anything! I'm actually pretty surprised I don't have any haters or flames or whatever the hell they're called on here. Maybe they don't bother writing angry review or something? :D I don't care, I'm just glad they don't.**

**But anyway, thank y'all so much for reviewing! Over 100 reviews! It's every author's dream to get into the triple-digits, right? :3 It's all thanks to my lovely, lovely readers who take the time to read and review all this shit I've put up :D**

_**Latitude Ocean Currents Winds and Air Elevation Relief Near Water**_

**Sorry, that was my geography stuff I'm studying. Where was I? **

**Anyway, I've decided! Do you guys have any questions or requests? If so, please add them into your review and I will do my best to answer or apply them as best as I can! If it's a request, though, please try to make all characters involved act like they do in my fanfic. In other words, NO OOCing or I WON'T DO IT.**

**Thanks :D**

**As for the questions, ask whatever! I shall answer them all to the best of my ability! **

**Ciao :D**


	21. Chapter 21

**Otaku-chama: Hey y'all, sorry for the long long wait. I've been searching around other online writing sites trying to find a good place, but I realized no place was better than here! Well, I'm back!**

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><p>Chapter 21: The Battle of Rings<p>

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><p>"What?" I said, staring up at Xanxus. He looked out of breath and sweaty, and he also looked really mad about something. I sipped at my Earl Grey tea calmly, Sciolto doing the same across from me.<p>

"DON'T JUST SIT THERE GOING ALL 'WHAT'!" Xanxus roared, scaring the living shit out of me and nearly making me drop my tea. "WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT SHIT TO SAVE YOU AND YOU'RE SITTING HERE WITH THE ENEMY DRINKING GOD-FUCKING-DAMN TEA?"

Wait, did he just say they were saving me? D'awww, that's sweet. Did that include Xanxus too? I felt the danger of a blush rising and quickly fought it down.

"Um, I'm fine. Sciolto here is really nice, we were just waiting for you." I gestured to Sciolto and smiled happily, and he smiled charmingly back.

I turned to Xanxus - and saw the barrel of his X-gun gleaming.

I threw myself out of my chair and dodged just in time, as a huge blast from his X-gun destroyed the table.

"Dammit, Xanxus, that could have killed me!" I yelled, then froze when I saw the look on Xanxus' face. Oh, lord. He was PISSED. He was even more pissed than that time when I stole all of his alcohol, and that man loves his alcohol. He had a look on his face that could wilt flowers. I found myself actually shrinking under his glare, staring at my shoes.

"Leave," He spat out. "I'm going to kill that Pesce Sciolto bastard. Stay out of my way." Then he turned around and stomped towards Sciolto, who was still sitting there, in his chair, calmly drinking tea like nothing just happened.

I backed up against the brick wall near the hole Xanxus had blasted out from. Oh my freaking ponies on a stick … I was _scared_. Of Xanxus. When did that ever happen? The only time I was ever scared of him before was when I first came to the Varia HQ and I thought he was going to kill me for sure.

This fucking sucked. Especially since I just realized I had feelings for said scary man. No, wait. Why the hell did I say that? I don't like him. Maybe a little, but it's purely platonic.

Oh, fuck, who am I kidding?

Oh, right. Me. Just keep on fooling myself, and I'll grow out of this phase.

A loud echoing blast shook through me, and I found myself pressed against the brick wall as debris came flying everywhere. Smoke invaded my sight, and all I could see for a long time was thick grey smoke, and the sounds of more echoing blasts in the distance and sounds of general brawling.

I coughed loudly, tears in my eyes from the smoke. When it finally begun to clear up, I could see flashes zooming around above me, like shooting stars. When the smoke finally dissipated, I realized it wasn't shooting stars - it was Xanxus, somehow using the blasts from his X-guns to fly through the air.

And … OH MY FUCKING GOD … Sciolto had wings.

I think I just saw my dream Italian guardian angel.

Then I frowned when I realized Sciolto didn't have the pure, snowy white wings of a guardian angel of my dreams. His wings were a light, smoky grey, the exact colour of the smoke. Maybe he's the one that caused it?

They were battling like crazy, moving so fast I could only see flashes of them up in the sky. From what I could see, Sciolto had a gun too.

Oh, shit. Dilemma here. Who should I cheer for?

Well, obviously I should cheer for Xanxus. But Sciolto was my sexy Italian dreamy hunkalicious man-candy and I didn't want to see his face get disfigured. But I didn't want Xanxus' unfortunately-rather-handsome-in-a-rugged-badass-gangster-way face get hurt either. Shit.

But, well, I am the Varia's maid, right? So I should cheer for the Varia, right?

Oh crap. What about the others? I have to go see if they're okay too!

"Hey, Xanxus?" I called out. "Uh, I'm going to go check on the others. Okay?"

They continued fighting. I didn't know whether it was because Xanxus didn't hear me, or he was ignoring me because he was still pissed at my tea-drinking.

"Okay, I'll just … be going … then …" I backed out through the hole in the wall, and then begun to walk down the hallways inside the mansion, on the lookout for any fighting inside.

* * *

><p>I was walking for only like two minutes before I begun to hear the sounds of brawling. And from the extremely loud yelling, I deduced it was coming from Squalo.<p>

I dashed down the hallways and finally came out to a huge, open space that looked like the mansion's front hall. It was a huge, circular space, and from the number of balconies and different levels I could see I was on the third floor. There was this huge-ass crystal chandelier the size of a car hanging from the ceiling.

And from what I could see, looking across the hall to the other side of the balcony opposite of me, Squalo and Aragosta were battling.

I ran down the hallway until I reached them. Squalo looked pissed off as usual, but otherwise uninjured except for a small bruise on his cheek. Aragosta, on the other hand, looked completely beat up. His long, impressive Chinese moustache was ragged, his clothes were torn up, and he was bleeding from a long gash on his forehead.

Squalo saw me and scowled. "What the hell are you doing here, woman? Get out of the way or you'll get hu -"

"SQUAAAALLLLLLOOOOO!" I yelled delightedly, flinging my arms around his neck and nearly pushing him off balance.

"VOOOOOOIIII, WHAT THE HELL!" Squalo yelled.

"Squalo I can't believe I'm seeing you in person, I feel like it's been forever since I got kidnapped! And where are the others and are you hurt anywhere else and did you know Xanxus is fighting Sciolto and why is Xanxus mad at me and where's Mammon and -"

"SHUT UP!" Squalo yelled, succeeding in pulling me off of him. He looked incredibly embarrassed. "Vooooii, first of all: it's only been like three hours. Second of all: Xanxus is mad because he was worried about you. Third of all: I don't give a fuck who the boss is fighting. Fourth of all: don't know where the others are and I don't care either. Lastly: _Don't touch me_."

"Awww, is little Squ-chan embarrassed?" I teased, drowning in sadistic enjoyment when he blushed furiously.

"AM NOT!"

"You soooo are!"

"VOOOOOII, FUCK YOU, NATSUKI! GO AWAY! GO DIE IN A HOLE!"

"Squalo, the Nile isn't just a river in Egypt."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anyt - oh, I get it. WHAT THE FUCK, WHO SAYS I'M DENYING ANYTHING?"

"Um, can I attack you now?" Aragosta asked timidly. He had a Chinese accent. Wait, what the fuck? Isn't this guy Italian?

"GO TO HELL!" Squalo and I yelled. With one big swing of Squalo's sword , Aragosta went down for the count.

"K.O! KNOCKOUT!" SUPERBI SQUALO IS THE WINNER!" I cheered, raising Squalo's hand as though he was a boxing champion. Squalo irritably shook his hand out of my grip.

"Vooooii, if you want to see how the others are doing, get out of here already. I have to go find that bastard Ghiaccio Respiro. He'll be more of a problem to deal with than this idiot."

I was off running before he even finished his sentence.

"VOOOOIII!" Squalo yelled after me. "TRY NOT TO DIE, OKAY? BOSS WILL RIP MY HEAD OFF IF YOU GET HURT!"

I nodded and saluted him with two fingers. Then I nearly tripped and decided to focus more on running rather than saluting.

* * *

><p>I was running down a random hallway when I heard a loud squeal. There was only one person I knew who squealed. Either Levi saw Xanxus stark naked or Lussuria was nearby.<p>

I saw a door that stood ajar. When I walked in, I saw a huge room filled with bows and frills and laces and ginormously fucking huge teddy bears everywhere. No, seriously, the entire room was filled with cuddly stuffed animals that ranged in size from my hand to a chair.

In the middle of the room, where there was a fake kitchen toy and several scattered pieces of plastic food and kitchen cutlery, was Lussuria and Scimmia evidently playing 'house'.

"Oh, hello, Natsuki darling!" Lussuria squealed from his spot where he perched delicately on a plastic chair that looked like it would fall apart at any moment. "Scimmy and I are playing a game! Care to join us?"

"Uh…fuck no." This was beyond weird. Lussuria was twenty-five. _Twenty-fucking-five_. And gayness was no excuse for this monstrosity.

And from the looks of the cute monkey-boy, Scimmia looked around twelve or thirteen, Tsuna's age. Boys at this age should be playing soccer or badminton or something, for fuck's sakes! If I came home to Japan and saw Tsuna playing house, I'd shoot myself.

"Oh, please play, _signorina_!" Scimmia pleaded, pouting slightly. "It's really fun! You can be our daughter! I'm the papa of the house, and Luss-nee is the mama!"

Why am I not surprised?

"Uh, I would love to, Scimmia, sweetheart … but I, um, have to go see if the others are okay …" I shot a glance at Lussuria and unleashed the full force of my glare on him. I mouthed the words _WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, FUCKFACE?_ at him.

Lussuria just smiled and mouthed back _I'm playing house, isn't it obvious, darling?_

Then I mouthed out _You stupid son of a bitch we're at war right now! If you haven't noticed, everyone else is working their ass off trying to kill or at least defeat the Caldo Guardians and you're fucking sitting here playing house with a kid who's thirteen but has the mental capacity of a three-year-old? You idiot you just wait till we're out of here I will kick your ass into oblivion!_

Lussuria looked confused. "What?"

"Never mind." I sighed. People are idiots sometimes.

I knelt down until I was eye level with Scimmia and said, "Scimmia, you have to go fight Lussuria now. Okay?"

Scimmia pouted. "But … but I don't like fighting. It's boring. I'd rather play house."

"I know, Scimmia, but it just has to be done. Maybe if you lose to Lussuria you can go play house with him again."

Scimmia pondered it for a moment, before smiling brightly. "Okay, then! I'll do that!" He raised his hands into the air and made a weird signal.

Suddenly, every single stuffed animal in the room seemed to come to life. They begun to limp their way towards us, trapping us in the circle like a zombie horde.

"!" I screamed, freaking out instantly. It was Chucky all over again!

Lussuria whipped off his jacket and out came the Muay Thai-whatever crap he does. He skilfully leaped around and held the stuffed animals at bay, throwing them back into the oncoming horde of zombie toys.

"Scimmia, this is the scariest thing I've ever seen in my entire life!" I yelled at the boy, who just smiled in this really eerily creepy way.

"You should have just played house with me and Luss-nee, _signorina_," He said in a strangely threatening voice.

Lussuria appeared beside me. "Suki-chan, it'll be hard trying to fend them off of both you and myself," He said. "Try to fight your way through them and get to the exit."

"Are you kidding me? Those things are fucking demon spawn, I'm not fighting my way through them!"

"But, Suki-chan, it's the only way. Besides, they're still stuffed animals. They're not that dangerous."

I glanced at the zombie toys warily. They looked freaking evil. "Alright, I'm going on. It was nice knowing you, Luss-nee."

"Don't say that, honey. If you die, boss will throw a fit."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT?" I yelled in exasperation. Lussuria ignored me, focusing on the zombie toys coming in from the left.

I took a deep breath and shot forwards, batting and kicking at the zombie toys. It was true - they had all the consistency of stuffing, which they were made of anyway. But there were HUNDREDS of them, and they were fucking throwing themselves at me.

I shrieked like a little girl, pulling and pushing them away. I almost got trampled by one of the teddy bears bigger than me, but I scrambled in-between its furry legs and made it out the door in one piece. Sort of.

Somehow, my clothes were all ripped, I had a scratch on my cheek (I think one of the bunnies threw a plastic fork at me or something), and I was pretty sure my hair looked like a bird's nest. Ah, shit.

* * *

><p>Almost immediately after I came out of the room and shut the door (sorry, Lussuria, but I don't want any of those zombie toys coming after me), a very familiar blade whizzed past my face into the distance.<p>

Then I heard a faint, tinkling, high-pitched giggle that made the flames of hatred surge through me.

_Riso_.

The curvaceous, scantily-clad woman rounded the corner, moving very speedily for someone in stilettos and wearing a dress so tight it was practically painted on. Then she caught sight of me and stopped dead. "You!" She hissed, her face livid in fury.

"Me," I said, smirking a little at her. We glared daggers at each other.

"I see you're still ugly," She retorted.

"I see you're still fat," I shot back, watching in amusement as she looked uncertainly at her flat stomach. "You should probably continue your bulimia, or you'll just gain all that weight back. Maybe in the process, you might throw up a lung or something."

Riso glared coldly at me, and all of a sudden a gleaming knife appeared in her hand. "I'll kill you, you little bitch!" She yelled, raising the dagger.

Shit. I could beat her in verbal fights any day, but physically she was an assassin and I was a maid. Fucksocks.

I dodged quickly to the side when she attempted to stab me. I couldn't help but say, "Miss!"

Screaming bloody murder, Riso turned around and advanced upon me again. Suddenly, she froze and leapt backwards - just as three knives came hurtling towards the spot she was seconds before.

"Ushishishishi," I heard a familiar lazy voice drawl. "No one hurts our princess, yeah?"

"BEL!" I gasped joyfully. I considered hugging him like I hugged Squalo, but I decided not to when I saw the excited, sadistic smile on his face. He was out for blood.

"Ushishishi, so the princess is safe and sound, just like the prince knew she would be," Bel said proudly.

"Hey - yeah, that's right! Bel, you BASTARD! You drugged me and let me get kidnapped! All so you could find out where their headquarters were!"

Bel grinned. "I didn't drug it, Natsuki. You just can't hold your liquor very well."

I pointed an accusatory finger at him. "BULLSHIT, Bel! You purposefully gave me a super-strong alcoholic beverage knowing I'd get drunk and shit!"

"Does it make you feel better that I knew you wouldn't get hurt?" Bel suggested.

"Slightly. But whatever - you're fighting this tramp, right?" I jabbed a thumb in Riso's direction. "Hurry up and kill her - I don't like it when skanks roam free."

"EXCUSE ME?" Riso shrieked, her voice going up several more octaves. Bel grinned, knives appearing in his hand. "Ushishishishi…agreed, _principessa_."

Riso seemed to know that she was going to die soon, because she began to run away, not before turning back and screaming, "You just wait, you annoying little bitch! I'll come back and finish you off, you wait and see!"

Bel's smile got infinitely more dangerous. "Ushishishishi, threatening Varia's little princess? That won't do at all." And he followed after her, moving as stealthily as a cat. That was surprising. Bel was such a lazy-ass I couldn't see him running.

I decided to walk the opposite way. If Bel was the one doing the killing, I didn't want to be anywhere near them when Riso starts screaming.

* * *

><p>I managed to find Levi and Mammon fighting Pietra and Maledire respectively. They looked busy so I decided not to interfere, instead cheering them on for a few minutes before getting bored and leaving.<p>

Eventually, I made my way back to where Xanxus and Sciolto should be fighting. Xanxus should have finished it by now, right? Might as well check up on them, then go see how Squalo was doing with Respiro.

I reached the hole in the wall, then stopped a few feet away from it. Something was wrong. It was too quiet. Did Xanxus already kill him off? Before I could even say goodbye to my sexy eye-candy? That hurt. But then again, I still had to apologise for whatever I did to make Xanxus mad. I didn't like seeing him pissed off at me.

Oh god, do I really have feelings for him? He was a pretty good-looking bastard, yes, but he was only nice to me when he was drunk. Although lately he's had his moments even when he hasn't drunk himself to a state of weirdness…

Suddenly, someone came crashing through the wall, creating another huge hole. Through all the smoke and debris, I realized who it was. His clothes were ripped and all bloody.

One look at his bloodied-up, half-conscious face made my heart stop.

I felt like none of the other battles I saw actually mattered. As I stared at the man who had collided so painfully against the wall, his guns falling from his limp fingers, I actually felt tears fill in my eyes.

"Xanxus…?"

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: LE GASP! What just happened? Here is where it REALLY gets interesting!<strong>

**And yeah, sorry for the shitty-as-fuck fight scenes. I've never tried writing this before, but I'll do my best and make better fight scenes for the next chapter. **

**Oh yeah, did any of you get the Nile river joke I put in there? Denial...get it? Ha ha... -_-**

**What else? Oh yeah...has anyone noticed I love making characters glomp Squalo? It's happened like twice in my fanfic Into the Dimensions, and it's happened several times in my other fanfic If The Mermaid Loves The Shark. What can I say? That man is such a tsundere he's just asking to be glomped by squealing fangirls. *AHEM* anyway...**

**Sorry for the late update, don't shoot me! I love you readers! Let's work hard and aim for the 150 review mark, okay? **

**This is Otaku-chama, over and out :D**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Sciolto Is Actually Evvvvviilll!

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: Yeah, I know, I need to freakin update my other stories. But this one was in such high demand and I did such a cliffhanger I had to keep writing. But I promise I won't update this one until my other stories are updated, so sorry peeps! :D<strong>

* * *

><p>"Xanxus, no…" This was not fucking happening.<p>

Xanxus was the strong, badass, assassin leader.

He was the guy who threw things at Squalo's head and scowled a lot and had an aura around him that was so dangerous some of the weaker subordinates who stand too close to him practically piss themselves.

But there he was, half-conscious and bloodied-up, looking…weak. Or at least, defeated. Did he come out like this after Tsuna won? No, that's pretty much impossible, Tsuna couldn't hurt that guy even if he wanted to. Xanxus was that awesome (oh my god, am I siding with XANXUS instead of Tsuna now?).

"Xanxus!" I quickly slid to my knees and bent over him, my heart pounding so loud I could barely hear anything. Oh, wait. He was still scowling. At least that didn't change.

He stirred slightly, and I could see his angry red eyes glaring at me through half-closed lids. "Fucking trash…" He snarled. "Get out of here."

"Fuck off!" I yelled, about to punch him in the gut. Then I realized my attempts to hit him has never worked before and I shouldn't take advantage of his current weakness, so I held back. "I'm not leaving your side."

Then my face turned red. Shit, that sounded…awkward. Really awkward. As if I was implying something…oh shit.

Xanxus closed his eyes and laid his head back against the rubble he was collapsed upon, but I could see him faintly smirking. My face turned even redder.

"Xanxus, we have to get you out of here. Sciolto's gonna really kill you now." I grabbed his hand and attempted to pull him up. He gritted his teeth. Whoops, probably pulled him too hard. I gingerly laid him back down.

"Xanxus -"

"Shut up," He hissed, his voice raspy and hoarse.

"Idiot, we have to get you out of here. If we find Squalor or Levi or somebody, we can carry you out of here and we can come back and kill Sciolto later. Please." My voice cracked slightly at the last word. It was then that I realized the Varia were like a family to me. Just seeing them hurt made me feel like crying. I was actually trying to hold back tears of anguish at seeing the invincible Xanxus in this state.

This was all very sweet and moving, but I was still too mortified to feel all warm and fuzzy about it.

Suddenly, I felt something round and cold in my palm, the one that was holding Xanxus' hand. I looked down. Xanxus had given me something that resembled a marble, except it was slightly bigger, around the size of a walnut. It was mainly black, with what looked like faint gold sparks moving inside of it. Like, legit moving. I brought it up to my eyes and peered into it. The sparks danced and flashed from side to side.

"What is this?"

"Something the rotten old man gave to me before this mission. And something that fucking Pesce Sciolto wants," Xanxus growled. "Take it and get the fuck out of here. Just keep running until you're out of Luglio."

"But…"

"Don't fucking 'but' me, woman. Get lost." He managed to turn his head and stare intensely at me, red eyes meeting brown. It was like he was trying to tell me something important.

When I stared right back at him resolutely, not moving an inch, he sighed deeply and took a different approach. Wincing, he said in a lower, rougher voice,

"Natsuki. You have to protect that thing."

It's been a while since I heard him say my name. I felt my face turn warm. Shit! I looked away quickly and gripped the marble-thing tightly into my fist. "…Okay. But you have to promise me -" I choked back more annoyingly weak tears, and tried to stop my voice from breaking, "- you have to promise you'll be okay."

Xanxus turned his head away from me, but not before I saw his cheeks were red. Or was that just the blood on his face? "…I don't make promises, woman."

"Well, you can start now," I said stubbornly.

"Will you just get a fucking move on?" He said weakly, still not looking at me. "That stupid thing will destroy Vongola if we let it fall into fucking Pesce Sciolto's hands. You need to protect it, no matter what." He took a deep breath, then sighed. "I'll be fine. Just go."

I stood up, and taking one last look at a man I might have semi-quasi-feelings for and a man I might never see again, I ran down the hallway.

* * *

><p>The second Xanxus was sure Natsuki had turned around, he looked back and watched her run off. He scowled and attempted to control the blush spreading on his cheeks. Fuck.<p>

Did she like him, then? She sounded on the verge of tears during the entire conversation. She worried about him. She cared. Did that mean she…?

Xanxus scowled even deeper. No. Don't bother thinking about that. Focus on getting out of here alive.

The thick, grey smoke cleared away slightly and Pesce Sciolto walked through the hole Xanxus had created, the feathers on his grey wings rustling as they folded behind his back comfortably.

He walked slowly, easily towards Xanxus, who despite all his efforts couldn't move.

It wasn't that he was severely injured - well, he kind of was, but he's had worse. It hurt a lot more when the rings rejected him during the fight with that Sawada brat. Now, _that_ was fucking painful.

It was more like the fact that Xanxus had no strength left in him to move.

Sciolto walked slowly and surely towards him, then stopped right at his feet. He looked down at the scarred man. "Give me the Sfera, Xanxus, there's a good man." He spoke lightly, with all the conviction of a casual conversation. _The damn fucker_, Xanxus thought furiously. _He's not even injured! _

"Fuck you," Xanxus managed to spit out. "I don't have that fucking thing."

Sciolto tilted his head to one side calmly, thoughtfully. "But I am certain the Vongola Nono gave it to you."

Xanxus let out a harsh laugh. "I don't even know what a fucking Sfera is, bastard. I only came here under the orders to kill you, I don't know a thing." This was a total lie, of course. Xanxus knew what the Sfera was, he knew how important it was that Natsuki would escape with it, and he knew why the Caldo Family wanted it.

Sciolto suddenly stomped on Xanxus, hard. Xanxus gritted his teeth to avoid making any sound as he felt one of his ribs crack.

"We need the Sfera, Xanxus," Sciolto said calmly, grinding the heel of his shoe on his abdomen, further damaging the cracked bone. Xanxus bit the inside of his cheek in an effort to not shout out, making it bleed.

"We need it to bring the Caldo Family to power." Sciolto grinded some more. There were more cracking sounds. A thin trickle of blood leaked out from the corner of Xanxus' mouth. "We can't hide in the Underground forever. You should know we feel, yeah?"

Smirking slightly, Xanxus croaked out, "Hell no. We Vongola don't have the need to hide. We aren't fucking cowards, unlike the Caldo Family. We aren't the kings of the Underworld because we don't care much for Underworld dealings. That's the only reason why we even let you fucking scum prance around beneath our feet as 'kings', trash."

There was a short silence, before Sciolto slammed his foot down so hard he broke Xanxus' ribcage. The normally calm, careful, easygoing face was now cold.

"You have the Sfera, don't you," He said. "Where is it, Xanxus? Where are you hiding it? I'll have Riso tear you to pieces to find it."

"Don't fucking have it," Xanxus spat out some blood, watching some of it splatter on Sciolto's smooth cheek.

"I wonder where -" Then Sciolto turned and looked somewhere else. He smiled slightly. "Ah…"

Xanxus turned to see what Sciolto saw. His blood turned cold.

The tracker Bel had hidden on Natsuki's shirt lay on the ground. And judging from the small swath of red cloth still hanging onto it, Natsuki must have accidentally ripped it off without even noticing.

Sciolto bent over and picked it up, examining it closely. A small smile was evident on his face. "I see…so that's how it is…you gave the Sfera to Natsuki _signorina_, didn't you?"

"_You son of a bitch!_" Xanxus hissed dangerously. He was seeing red, so angry that his scars spread across his face in a second. He clenched his hands into shaking fists and wished more than ever he could get his strength back to kill Sciolto. "IF YOU TOUCH HER I'LL KILL YOU!"

Sciolto smiled a bit wider. "Oh? Feeling protective, Xanxus? How strange…to think a professional assassin would have those kinds of feelings towards a woman…"

"What I do and how I feel is none of your fucking business, trash!" Xanxus snarled.

"Oh, I'm sure." Sciolto's smile turned wistful as he stared at the tracking device. "Natsuki _signorina_ sure is a beautiful woman, isn't she? And a very strange one at that. Nevertheless, I find her personality quite refreshing…"

"FUCK OFF!" Xanxus roared.

"Getting jealous?" Sciolto smirked, then sighed deeply. "Well, it seems like _signorina_ has feelings for another man already, so I guess I'm out of luck for now."

Xanxus froze, his scars diminishing slightly from shock. Natsuki had feelings for another man? What man? She didn't fucking KNOW any men apart from the Varia, from what he could see! And he sure as hell couldn't see her liking any of the Varia members. Wait…he had to think about it some more to make sure.

She had a sibling relationship with Squalo.

She saw Levi as her therapist (she often went to him to complain about the other members, claiming that he was the only relatively sane one).

Thought of Mammon as a baby and nothing more.

Bel was way too young for her to even consider it.

And as for Lussuria…actually, Xanxus did not want to know what kind of relationship she had with that flamboyant gay man. Probably 'shopping buddies' or something equally sickening.

Then that left him…Xanxus' stomach clenched. Did she see him as a scary boss? A brother? A friend? An enemy? Or…

But he could be wrong. The letters she wrote practically daily might have been sent to a man she kept a long-distance relationship with. The letters she received constantly in return might have been sent by said long-distance boyfriend.

It might be one of her ex-lovers. He knew Natsuki wasn't inexperienced when it came to dating or love - for a woman with her looks (and vanity, he mused), he would have been insulted if she didn't.

"Well, looks like I'm done with you here." Sciolto said, breaking Xanxus out of his train of thought. "I have a little…_hunting_ to do."

The scars flared right back up. Xanxus was so angry he actually had the strength to sit up, although the searing pain in his ribcage made him collapse right back down again. "Don't you fucking _dare_, Pesce Sciolto…" He growled dangerously.

Sciolto gave a little laugh. "Oh, don't worry about your beloved, Xanxus, I won't hurt her." His voice changed slightly. "At least, as long as she cooperates."

And then he was gone.

"FUCKING GOD DAMMIT!" Xanxus swore furiously, smashing his fist against a pile of rubble near him and using his Flames of Wrath to crush it into dust. He needed to get up. He needed to _move_. But he was useless, this weak, when that bastard Sciolto caught him by surprise.

How the fuck was he supposed to know that there were such things as Caldo rings?

* * *

><p>I am lost. Fucking LOST. Again.<p>

Why was this place so confusing? And ugly. I couldn't even hear the sounds of fighting anywhere. It was deathly silent.

Since I was lost, alone, and pretty much confused about everything that just happened, so I decided to take a quick break and look at the walnut-sized marble in my hand.

When I looked closer, I realized the black part was more like swirls of clouds, and the gold sparks were like lightning. It was actually pretty damn cool. I stared deep into the marble thoughtfully.

Was Xanxus going to be okay? He looked beat-up, yet at the same time…he looked weak. As though all the power was sucked out of him. Knowing that man, he's never tired. He has the stamina of a…I don't know, what has a good stamina? A marathon runner? A god? Yeah, let's go with god.

Did Sciolto somehow do something? Suck his energy out? I vaguely remember Tsuna saying something about Dying Will flames when I visited him all those months back. It was kind of the same as Xanxus' Flames of Wrath, right?

Hmm, that would make a lot of sense. I don't give a shit anymore if Sciolto was a sexy piece of eye-candy, he hurt Xanxus, and he will pay. Uh…not that I cared, right? I just meant that he was going to pay for hurting a friend…or something…or, uh…oh whatever.

But what was the big deal with this fancy marble-thing anyway? It didn't look valuable, or particularly powerful. It looked like…a marble.

Why was this tiny little toy so important Xanxus entrusted it to ME? The only thing he entrusted me with was cooking his steak.

I better start walking soon. I have to find Squalo as soon as possible, or Bel. Those two seemed like the most obvious choices for protection. Mammon would only be in it for the money, knowing how weak Levi is he's probably unconscious somewhere, and as for Lussuria…no fucking way was I going near that zombie room again. No way, thank you. Sorry, Luss-nee-chan, but you can die alone.

Walking down endless identical hallways is horrible. Especially since I still couldn't hear any of the others, which probably means I'm bringing myself deeper into the HQ. Ugh.

I faintly heard the sound of footsteps not too far off. Who could it be? Bel?

"HEY!" I yelled out joyfully, just glad that I finally found a real living human being around here. I turned the corner…

…and ran right into Pesce Sciolto.

Well, FUCK.

"Ah, _signorina_, it's a pleasure to see you again," Sciolto said, smiling.

I just scowled defiantly at him, refusing to succumb to his charms. Yes, I admit he is still fantastically gorgeous and sexy and he is my Italian dream hunk, but I have also remembered he is the leader of an Underground crime organization and he is also an asshole for hurting Xanxus.

"What do you want?" I said, putting my fists up in a universal 'fight' position. I had quickly stuffed the marble thing into my pocket when I saw him.

"I am afraid I have some business to finish with you," He said calmly, charmingly. _Don't fall for his gorgeous persuading techniques, don't look into his beautiful dark eyes, don't look at his face in general…_

"When you left Xanxus' side a while ago, he gave you something, am I correct?" Sciolto asked kindly. I stiffened at his name.

"Xanxus? What did you do to him?" My voice turned shrill with anger and fear. "You didn't -"

Sciolto laughed quietly. "No, I didn't kill him. Of course not, _signorina_, that would hurt you too much, correct? I don't wish to hurt you."

Okay, that was pretty swoon-worthy of him to…OHHHHHH NO, NATSUKI! DON'T FALL FOR HIS TRICKS! HE'S A KILLER! A KILLER I SAY!

But Xanxus is a killer too…but he's different, right? Because he won't hurt me, right? Actually, no, he's tried to hurt me plenty of times. He loves to throw things at me if Squalo isn't there. I just have naturally good reflexes.

"But that is not my point. He gave you something, didn't he?" His voice suddenly turned hard. "Give it to me."

I decided to play clueless - it always works best, after all. "Ummm, I don't know what you're talking about. Xanxus didn't give me anything. I was just, uh, crying over his half-dead body." Okay, that excuse sucked ass.

"The Sfera, Natsuki _signorina_, the Sfera." Sciolto said rather impatiently. "I need it. It is very important to me. The Vongola took it from me and I need it back."

I backed away slightly. "I told you, I don't have it!"

"Oh, really?" Sciolto smiled, but this time there was nothing charming about his smile at all. "Are you sure?"

"Uh…yeah. I'm totally sure. I'm like, legit telling the truth."

The air around me suddenly seemed to grow colder, and it was getting hard to breathe. I gulped and sucked in as much air as I could, feeling something cold, empty, and dark trickling into my mind. It was weird…was this how you feel when you sell your soul?

"Please tell the truth, Natsuki _signorina_," Sciolto pressed dangerously.

I gulped again. Suddenly, I felt like I didn't have enough air. No matter how hard I breathed, I couldn't get enough air in. I started to feel lightheaded and dizzy. I needed to get out of here. I had to escape.

"I-I d-don't ha-have it…" I managed to choke out, sinking slowly to my knees.

Sciolto stared down at me, the intense look in his dark eyes completely different from the look that came from Xanxus. When I looked into Xanxus' blood red eyes, I felt pressure, but more like he was trying to look straight through me. With Sciolto, even when I didn't meet his gaze, I felt the overwhelming feeling of being choked, like someone was holding a hand to my neck. It was a horrible feeling, and I was slowly losing consciousness.

"Give me the Sfera, Natsuki _signorina_," He said quietly.

Against my will, I felt my hand itching towards my jeans pocket. I quickly regained control of my limbs and jerked it away, but the damage was done. Sciolto's eyes narrowed towards my pocket.

"Please give it to me." He held out his hand, unleashing the full power of his stare. I could practically feel something pressing near my heart, as though someone had an invisible blade pressed against my chest. It was doubly worse.

I swallowed, sweat running down my face. I couldn't give it to him. I couldn't. But my hand was moving on its own again. I grabbed my wrist with my other hand and forced it down.

"I will be forced to get it myself if you do not cooperate."

Oooh, so he'll be forced to place his hand on my waist, huh? DAMMIT NATSUKI, DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT AT A TIME LIKE THIS! MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!

Slowly, my hand reached into the pocket and pulled out the marble thing he called a 'sphere-a' or something. My hand shook from the effort of controlling it, put it still moved against my will. It slowly reached towards Sciolto's open, waiting hand.

"NO!" I yelled out, gripping the sphere-a into my fist and snapping my hand away.

I felt something shatter inside of me, like a mirror breaking. Suddenly, I didn't feel like I was choking, or that a sword was being pointed to my heart. I felt free, and I could breathe. My head was clear.

I jumped to my feet and ran away.

I didn't get far before I felt something grip me around my waist. Sciolto had somehow caught up with me.

And - oh my god, I can't believe I didn't see them before - his wings had unfurled, the smoky grey feathers rustling, and his grip around my waist tightened.

"Please hold on, Natsuki _signorina_," He said, before suddenly flying down the hallway at a lightning speed.

I screamed, unwilling to cling to his body (despite his hunkiness, I felt it would betray Xanxus - wait, WHAT?) yet terrified of the speed. I probably will fall.

He went out into the wide-open, circular front hall, where I last saw Squalo and Aragosta. They were gone. The only signs a fight had taken place there was random bloodstains and deep scratches on the floor and walls where Squalo most likely carelessly slashed with his sword.

Suddenly, his wings tilted, and we sped downwards. This time, I clung to him. "OHMIGOD OHMIGOD WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'RE GONNA DIE!" I shrieked like a banshee. We were nearing the bottom of the first floor and we were going to crash headlong into the marble…

At the last second, Sciolto's wings tilted again, and we jerked parallel to the ground, before zooming down the hallways again. Sciolto twisted into what looked like a large pit in the ground and fell down into it.

Darkness invaded my sight, and all I could smell was dark, damp, musty, humid air. The kind of air in a really deep place, like a super-deep basement or something.

Huh, so they had a basement floor as well.

When I could finally see, we were zooming down more hallways. These ones were different from the identical, Alice in Wonderland-ripoff hallways from the floors above. These ones looked like metal, with ugly fluorescent lighting flickering gloomily and threateningly on the ceiling. There were strange buttons and scanners and shit everywhere.

Sciolto slowly stopped, bringing me gently to my feet as he folded his rustling wings, pressing them against his back again. I nearly fell to the ground. My legs were shaking and I was dizzy as fuck.

"I'm sorry, I forget others aren't used to the speeds that I travel," Sciolto apologized charmingly, smiling at me as though he didn't just use his super-intense-evil-aura on me and nearly killed me with it. He held out a hand.

I glared at him and stood up myself (which took a while since my legs were shaking so much), and just to prove I will never forgive him for what he did to Xanxus, I slapped his hand away. I wanted to bitch-slap his face too, but I was still drooling a bit over him and I didn't want his hunkalicious, dreamy face to get hurt.

He pressed a button, scanned his fingertips, shit like that, and suddenly a panel on the metal wall slid open to reveal a huge, dark, circular chamber. It looked pretty much empty except for huge machinery and gadgets and geeky shit all over the walls and a circular raised platform in the very middle of the room.

Bowing slightly, Sciolto smirked and gestured extravagantly to the inside of the room. "Will you follow me inside, _Varia di principessa_,"

I frowned at him, but couldn't help but blush anyways. Being fluent in Italian, I realized he just called me 'Varia's Princess'. This was an embarrassing - and kinda sweet - nickname…if he wasn't the one saying it. If it was Bel, I would probably enjoy it. But the way he said it made me feel threatened somehow.

But there was no going back. I couldn't run or escape, and with my sense of direction I wouldn't bother trying.

Sensing my hesitation, Sciolto said, "You want to see your beloved Xanxus, don't you?"

Taking a deep breath, I nodded and stepped inside the room.

* * *

><p><strong>I feel like chatting with some of my lovely, wonderful reviewers and readers, so here's what's on my mind:<strong>

**1) Sfera means "sphere" in Italian. Fucking awesome word for "sphere", eh?**

**2) Yes, anyone who wants to call me Sempai can. I especially give permission to KuroMimi-chan.**

**3) My personal message to cocoamilo: I **_**am**_** cool, man :D**

**4) 150+ REVIEWS, BABY! YEAH, THAT WAS LIKE, 10 REVIEWS IN ONE CHAPTER! At this rate, we'll get to 200 in no time! WHOOT WHOOT!**

**5) Rock climbing at school this week. Then there was this thing where a whole bunch of people pull one person who's connected to this rope and they end up like hanging from the ceiling, and there was like 10 girls including me pulling up 2 guys and they were fucking fat because we were slipping and falling everywhere.**

**6) Check out this video on Youtube called "Shit Asian Moms Say". If you're Asian and you have a mom, this will describe your mother to a T, no shit. Even if you aren't Asian, you'll laugh your ass off.**

**Well, until next chappie. I love all you readers, it's thanks to you that I'm in the freaking 3-digit reviews! I love you guys!**

**Otaku-chama's out, PEACE BITCHEZ! XD **


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: The Caldo Rings and the Sfera

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><p><strong>Yeah, sorry I've been gone forever, guys. No explanation besides my suddenly switching to Asianfanfics to write some kpop fics filled with hunkalicious Asian men. But I'm back. Hopefully for a while.<strong>

**Anyway, thanks to the people who actually waited - if you did. I hope you did….. **

**TT^TT**

**Anyways, I finally thought up a reasonably-good reason for the major importance of the Caldo Rings and the Sfera - and yes, I've spent the past few chapters bullshitting you all. I had absolutely no idea why they were important.**

* * *

><p>The room seemed completely empty of people except for me and Sciolto. As I walked inside, my footsteps echoed threateningly around the room.<p>

"Now, _signorina_, if you could step onto that platform, please," Sciolto said politely.

I scowled at him. "Fuck off."

"Now, is that language a beautiful young lady should say?"

Ooh, he called me 'beautiful'. I'm flattered. "You haven't seen me on a waffle rant, dickface. Where's Xanxus? What happened to the others?"

"You shall see soon enough," Sciolto said, with what could have been an evil smirk. He smiled handsomely at me, taking full use of his handsome face. However, I remembered his super-evil and dickish aura from before and crossed my arms, refusing to give in.

"Do you really want to see them, _signorina_?"

"Yes." Duh. What, did I want to see his mom or something?

"Well, if you insist…" And then he snapped his fingers.

The walls all over the room started to pulse and warp in a very familiar water-ripple pattern. Next thing I knew, everything changed.

The room was suddenly filled with people. All of Sciolto's guardians were there - Respiro, Scimmia, Pietra, Riso, and Aragosta. And, of course, who could forget dear Maledire, who was the one who made the illusion anyway.

She snarled at me. "We meet again, o cursed one."

I ignored her. Mostly because they weren't the only ones appearing in the room.

"GUYS!" I shouted out in relief and horror.

Relief because - thank heavens they were alright and those bastard Caldo guys didn't kill them.

Horror because - Mary, mother of GOD did they look terrible. Although the Guardians didn't look all that hot either. Well, except for Sciolto and Respiro. Those guys were basically spotless.

I couldn't imagine it. The Varia - _the_ Varia - were beaten-up, bruised, and bloodied. They were chained to the wall by some super-high-tech chains that glowed a soft blue and hummed with power, scattered around the room.

"VOOOOOOIIII, WOMAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Squalo shouted, blinking and looking around the room. "AND FOR THAT MATTER, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?" Evidently, they didn't know about the whole illusion thing either.

"Boss! I'm so sorry! I let myself be beaten by the enemy!" Levi wailed.

"Honey, are you okay?" Lussuria called out to me worriedly.

"Ushishishi, the prince didn't get beaten up, he LET himself get beaten up!" Bel said in a quick attempt at his usual bravado.

Riso scowled hatefully at him (I was so, so, SO pleased to see her entire face and body covered in scratches and cuts from his knives) and kicked him in the stomach with her pointy-toed stilettos. "Shut up, Storm boy!"

Anger flared up in me more than ever. That did it. Nobody - and I fucking mean NOBODY - messed with Bel like that and got away with it. Not MY sadistic, evil, psychotic, funny, annoying, and completely-batshit-insane Bel. "You fucking assmunching bitchface! I'll kill you for that! Nobody fucks with the Varia but ME!"

"Ushishishi, I didn't know I meant so much to you, princess," Bel snickered, coughing out some blood.

"Of course, Bel. I'll love you forever."

"Knew you couldn't resist my charismatic charms."

"All of you trash FUCKING SHUT UP," Xanxus snarled from his own chains. Despite being weak enough to not be able to shout like he normally does, we instantly quietened down.

"Very good show of leadership, Xanxus," Sciolto said calmly. "I'm impressed."

"Spare the small talk!" I snapped at him. "What do you want with this ball thing?" I kept a tight hold on the marble in my fist.

"Oh dear, you went on this mission without being told the true nature of it?" Sciolto said in pity. "Poor girl. You see, that's not just any normal trinket. That's the Sfera, and it is greatly necessary for our plans."

"Then why the fucking hell should I give it to you?" I growled. "What did you do to the Varia, asshole? No NORMAL Mafioso can kick Varia's ass like this!"

"They didn't kick our ass!" Squalo yelled out, sounding extremely embarrassed. "We just…dropped our guard, that's all."

"Oh, quit making excuses. You got your ass handed to them, and you know it."

"Bullshit, woman. Varia aren't beaten. EVER."

I made a loud cough that distinctly sounded like "TSUNAcoughcoughRINGBATTLEcou ghMIDDLESCHOOLERScoughcoughc ough."

I winced and massaged my throat. "Whoops, sorry about that. I have a case of Bullshit-itis

stuck in my throat."

Squalo glowered at me, the rest of the Varia looked ashamed, and Xanxus' eye started twitching. I loved mentioning my brother in their presence.

"Hey, bitch!" Riso shrieked. "Are you going to stand there arguing about nothing, or are you going to stand there and listen to Scippy explain?"

I glared at her. "Fine then! What is Scippy's most important and valuable plans?"

Sciolto smiled. "Well, if you'd like to know, it concerns our Rings." He held out a ring clasped around his neck on a chain. It was shaped like a snowflake, just like Scimmia's had been.

"What's so fucking fantabulous about those rings?"

"These are the never-before-heard-of Caldo Rings. As you know, there are only three Ring sets out there -"

"I don't know."

They stared at me.

"And you've been living with the Varia?" Pietra sounded astonished.

I scowled. "They aren't exactly training me to become an assassin or anything. I'm a maid, remember?"

Riso looked like she wanted to pull my hair out. Respiro quietly spoke up. "There are the Arcobaleno Rings, the Mare Rings, and the Vongola Rings. Put together, they make up the Trinisette. There are a few minor Ring sets out in the world, but those are all accounted for and not as powerful as these."

Okay, I got that. Sort of. "Continue."

Sciolto seemed to be holding back laughter as he said, "Well, nobody has ever heard of these special items before. The Caldo Rings all hold a very special ability…"

"Which is?" The suspense was killing me. Actually, no, not really. I could care less.

"…The ability to nullify Flame powers and to control minds."

Okay, now THAT got my attention. Not the Flame part, but the mind-control part. "Shit, dude! That's amazing! Can I see it?"

"No," Sciolto said gently. "However, they are not very powerful. The mind control can be used to control inanimate objects such as toys, and can control animals quite well too. However, it only works to a certain extent, and anybody who has a strong inner mind can easily break out of the hypnotism."

Awesome! Did I do that before, when he tried to make me give the Sfera to him? Does that mean I have a strong mind? I knew I was a badass.

"VOOOOOOOIIII, I KNEW IT!" Squalo shouted out loud. "YOU FUCKERS WERE FIGHTING DIRTY. IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE THAT STUPID NULLIFYING POWER IN YOUR RINGS, WE COULD HAVE KILLED YOU ALL EASILY!"

Hmm, Squalo had a point. Sciolto would be burnt into ashes by now if Xanxus could have used his Flames of Wrath on him. "That does seem a little cowardly, I have to say."

"Shut up, all of you, and let Master Sciolto explain!" Aragosta snapped.

Sciolto continued calmly, as though there wasn't a single interruption. "Anyway, if we had a sufficient amount of power, these Caldo Rings could be used to control the minds of every famous and powerful man in the world - including the Vongola Family. But to do that, we need power. And for power, we need the Sfera."

I blinked at him. "Because I TOTTTAAAALLLLYYY know why it's so important."

I balanced the small golden-black marble in my palm and turned to Xanxus, trying not to flinch at just how _broken_ he looked. "You didn't tell me why it's important."

"You didn't need to know," Xanxus shot back.

"Considering I have in my hands the key to the Caldo Family's success and our doom, and you are all chained to a wall and basically fucked in every sense of the term…you should tell me."

Xanxus sighed and rolled his eyes, wincing when that made his black eye throb. Finally, he muttered out, "The Sfera is an ancient collection of energy of immense destructive power."

"Which means…?"

"It means it can give the Caldo Family enough power to destroy us all."

"Ohhh…"

"Exactly," Sciolto said cheerfully. "So, _signorina_, if you can be so kind as to hand over the Sfera to me, I can connect its power with the Caldo Rings and we can all go home happily."

"Bullshit, man. Now that I've heard your lame-ass plan, I DEFINITELY don't want to give you jackshit!"

Within a second, Riso was behind me, grabbing me by the hair and forcing me in a bowing position. "You better follow what he says RIGHT NOW, you ugly little bitch, or else I'll bring you into a world of pain!"

"I already am. I saw your face," I spat despite actually being in real pain. Her fingernails were digging into the back of my skull quite painfully.

"Why, you little …"

"Riso!" Sciolto said sharply, and I despite being forced to stare at the floor, I had a feeling I was saved from being destroyed by a bitch, catfight-style. "Stop. We need her, remember?"

Riso growled a little but stepped away from me. I straightened my back and rubbed the back of my head.

"Now, _signorina_, the Sfera, please." Sciolto held out his hand.

"No fucking way."

Respiro and Pietra appeared on either side of me, wrestling with my arms and forcing me to hold out my hand. I fought and bit and scratched as best as I could, but they managed to pry my fingers open and snag the little ball away.

"No!" I gasped, falling to my knees as they handed the marble to Sciolto. Shit. I did it now.

"Good. Thank you, gentlemen." Sciolto smiled calmly at them, and after a short bow they returned to their places. "_Signorina_, if you don't mind joining me on this platform."

"Why?" I muttered suspiciously, my mind racing. I needed to find a way to get that Sfera thing back and destroy it murderously before the Caldo bastards took control of the world. I tried to imagine kindly old Nono being controlled against his will and I felt an urge to smack something. Preferably Sciolto's handsome face.

"Because you are of vital importance for us to gain this power."

Oh, really? Well, who knew? Evidently nobody else, because even Xanxus looked shocked.

"Me? Really?"

"Yes, you." Sciolto smiled at me. "Xanxus, didn't you know? The Sfera was created by the Vongola Primo himself, and therefore only those who have the original Vongola blood in their veins can access the power inside."

His words finally started to dawn on me. "So that means…"

"Yes. We were planning on finding Sawada Tsunayoshi. However, bringing a boy all the way from Japan to Italy was not very plausible. So how lucky were we when we found his young, pretty sister walking into our town today?"

The Varia gritted their teeth. Xanxus was furious, and so was Squalo. "VOOOOOOOIIII, GODDAMIT! WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT HER WITH US! SHIT!"

Great. I wanted to go so badly and only now in the thick of danger do I realize I should have just stayed home. Juuuust great.

"And what makes you think I'll actually help you guys?" I said angrily.

Sciolto looked calmly at Aragosta, who walked over to a giant, complicated-looking machine and flipped a large switch.

Suddenly, the chains surrounding the Varia grew brighter and brighter, and crackled loudly. At the same time, the Varia all screwed up their faces in what could only be total pain.

"Stop that!" I yelled out. "STOP IT!" I couldn't stand seeing them looking like it hurt so much.

Bel was breathing heavily and couldn't even support his body anymore. However, he was still able to use bluffs and bravado on the behalf of the assassination squad. "Is that…the best…you got?"

Aragosta flipped the switch higher. They were making an effort not to make any sounds - most likely for my sake - but their faces said it all. Their bodies jolted this way and that and twisted up as electricity shocked through them.

I closed my eyes to escape from this horrifying sight.

"STOP IT! STOP IT, _PLEASE!_"

"Will you do as I say, _signorina_?" Sciolto asked calmly.

I could feel tears running down my cheeks. "I will, I will, I'll do whatever you want. Just STOP IT! Please, stop it!"

The loud crackling noises stopped, and I opened my eyes. The Varia were all slumped down, gasping for breath.

"Thank you for your cooperation, _signorina_." Sciolto politely made an invitation gesture with his hand. "If you will come up here, please?"

"You're an asshole, you know that?" My voice came out all quivery and broken, and I hated it. I haven't cried in ages.

"Maybe so. Now, up here, please. Watch your step."

I slowly went up onto the platform.

"Wait! Suki-chan! Don't do it!" Lussuria said, sounding panicked.

"It'll be okay, guys!" I said, trying to keep my voice calm and not start shaking again. "I'll find a way out of this, okay?" I turned to Sciolto. "If I help you with this shit, then you promise to let them go, right?"

"Of course," Sciolto smiled. "Now, right into the center."

I hesitantly stepped into the very center of the platform. A mechanical device suddenly broke free of the platform and levitated upwards. It held eight circular holes.

Sciolto took off his ring and placed it in one of the holes. One by one, his Guardians solemnly did the same.

Sciolto grabbed my hand and placed the Sfera in it. "Now, you must be the one to place it inside. Be a good girl now, and do as you're told."

I yanked my hand away from his and slowly brought it to the device, my hand shaking. I could hear choruses of "Don't do it!" and "Get away!" from Levi, Lussuria, and Squalo. I could only assume Xanxus and Mammon were too cool to say anything, and Bel was planning a way to escape.

At the last second, I stopped and pulled my hand back. "I'll break it."

Sciolto's smile slipped off his face. "What?"

"There's no fucking way I'm activating this shit. I'll throw it onto the ground right now and smash it into pieces." I held up my arm. No fucking way would I do what he wants.

A change suddenly overcame Sciolto. A cold, evil glare appeared on his face, and he didn't look remotely handsome. Not even as handsome as Xanxus, who looked cold and evil and glared every second of his life.

Then his hand shot out and struck me across the face.

I yelped in pain and stumbled to my knees. It HURT.

I could hear angry yelling from the Varia, all furious and swearing eternal damnation and murder on anyone who bears the name Caldo.

But the one voice that stood out to me was a certain red-eyed man's.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

I looked up at him. He was absolutely _livid_, his scars flaring and his eyes gleaming like two little fireballs. He thrashed against the chains, and I probably wouldn't be surprised if he ripped Sciolto apart piece-by-piece right here and now.

It was quite flattering. But my cheek REALLY HURT.

"Get up," Sciolto snarled, his voice no longer handsome and smooth and charming. "And if you don't do what I say, I will torture all of them to death in front of you. And then I will kill you once I have what I want."

My mind begun to whir once more. I only had one chance at this. Just one chance.

My head hung in defeat, and I slowly brought the Sfera to the device once more.

"Muu, don't do it!"

"Ushishishi, princess, you don't want to do that!"

'VOOOOOOOIIII DON'T, WOMAN!"

"Suki-chan, think about your love life!"

"Boss, what'll we do?"

"Shut up, trash!" And once again, Xanxus' voice echoed out more loudly than the others. "NATSUKI, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING."

I took a deep breath…

…and placed the Sfera into the device.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Vongola vs. Caldo

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><p><strong>Otaku-chama: OMFG! I have finally reached 200 reviews! OMFG I can barely believe it! Who would've thought I'd reach this far? I'm going to cry!<strong>

**A big, whooping thank-you to my 200****th**** reviewer, Rejected-Starr. You are the best! I was waiting for the 200****th**** review, and you gave it to me! *Throws candy at your face***

**So, anyway, here's the finale to the Caldo Arc! Yay!**

* * *

><p>The second I placed it into the last slot, the floating device suddenly started to hum, and the rings began to glow. I stared in avid fascination as the Sfera began to glow brighter and brighter, the gold sparks inside of it practically dancing.<p>

"It's working!" The excited voices of the Caldo Guardians echoed around my ears. "Boss, it's working!"

"Of course it is!" Sciolto's handsome face was flushed with triumph. "Now, with the Sfera's power, we, the Caldo Familiga, can rule the world! We'll show those bastard Vongola our real power! We will control their minds and take over every single mafia family in the world from the inside out!"

"You were totally right, Respiro, honey, we should have done this thing ourselves from the start!" Riso's girly voice cut through my sudden lack of concentration. I looked down at the Sfera, my fingers still loosely touching the small marble. I could feel energy flowing into my very fingertips.

"Of course I was right," Respiro's cool tone sounded somewhere behind me. "There was no point trusting those grunts we sent to the Varia HQ. To think they would actually find the Sfera in there was pointless."

Huh! Those bastards! So they DID send those suicide-assassins after all! I felt a wave of hot anger surge through me. All they did was cause us trouble.

But … was the Sfera still stable?

I stared at it, my mind racing. I only had one chance. If I was wrong, they will probably kill me immediately. If I was right …

I had to make my decision fast. I could _see_ the energy from the Sfera slowly pouring into the Caldo Rings around it, via a sort of golden electricity. The electricity, strangely enough, wasn't hurting me. Maybe because I was related to Tsuna, who was related to the first Vongola boss, yadda yadda yadda.

_But … would it hurt others …?_

Sciolto looked back at me and frowned. "What are you doing?"

Now was my chance.

Taking a deep breath, I yanked the Sfera out of the device, which instantly stopped humming. The light died away from the Rings. However, the Sfera I held in my hand was still flashing and crackling with energy. In fact, the energy seemed to dance along my very skin in gorgeous golden sparks.

"Stop that! Put it back!"

Sciolto's hand reached out to hit me again.

Gritting my teeth, I placed the Sfera firmly into my fist and punched Sciolto as hard as I could in the stomach.

What happened next was unbelievable.

A wave of power shot through my arm, and at the same time, the golden electricity shot out from the Sfera and my hand and travelled along Sciolto's body. He could barely utter a sound of pain before I pulled away in shock and he dropped to the ground.

"Boss!"

"BOSS!"

"What did you do to him?"

This moment of confusion was the time. The little surges of electricity I could feel buzzing through my fingers and skin was turning my entire hand numb.

Without another glance at Sciolto, I slapped the floating device, breaking the connection it had, and spun it out of the air, the Caldo Rings scattering all over the cool metal floor.

Turning around, I hopped off the platform and ran to the machine that had tortured the Varia. I brought back my fist and punched the machine too.

My knuckles were probably bruised, and I doubted that actually hitting it was necessary, but hey, how cool WAS that?

Electricity sparks traveled along the entire machine in a criss-crossing motion, before smoke began to seep out of the cracks and a high, whining scream sounded. The monitor exploded, and it went haywire before shutting down completely.

"ARAGOSTA, STOP HER!" I heard Sciolto yell.

The Chinese-moustachioed man was there in an instant, and had kicked me hard in the stomach. I sprawled to the ground, temporarily out of air. If you've ever been kicked in the stomach with a soccer ball before, you'd know how I feel.

I struggled to get my diaphragm to work again as Aragosta advanced upon me menacingly.

I shakily held up my fist, the Sfera still full of energy and pulsing at the same time as my heartbeat. "I-I'll hit you with this! Don't think I won't, bastard!"

"I'd like to see you try, little girl," Aragosta growled, raising his hand. Oh god. Was he going to hit me with some sort of sneaky kung-fu attack?

I scrambled backwards as much as I could, but my stomach was killing me, and it gave sharp jabs of pain every time I so much as breathed.

I brought up my arms for cover (there was NO friggin' way I was letting him damage my pretty face, that asshole Sciolto already did that) just as he swung his arm down. Surprisingly, no pain came.

"Voooiii, not bad, woman." I looked up and lowered my arms. I was never happier to see my favourite loud-mouthed, silver-haired swordsman. Squalo smirked, easily deflecting Aragosta's attack and shoving him away. My eyes widened. "S-Squalo? How did -"

"Those goddamn handcuffs just fell off after you broke the machine." He seemed to slouch a bit more than normal, but other than that, he seemed full of his usual energy. "VOOOOII, MAMMON! HIDE THOSE DAMN RINGS!"

"On it!" Mammon floated up somewhere near the ceiling. The space around me seemed to warp and distort, before suddenly the tiny little rings scattered on the floor disappeared with a flash of light.

"Where are they?" Scimmia yelped, jumping about as he blindly tried to feel for them. "Where did they go? Darn you, Vongola!"

"LEVI!" I screamed once my breath came back. "DESTROY ALL THESE MACHINES!"

Levi nodded determinedly, and raised his arms. "_Levi Volta!_" His awesome-as-fuck umbrella-parabola-things shot out from behind his back and centered itself around the room.

Now, I've never seen him do this thing before, but Lussuria's told me all about it. Apparently, it surrounds an enemy and shoots electricity at it.

But this time, the umbrella-parabola-things turned the OTHER WAY to face the machines.

Green-tinted electricity shot out of the point of each one and slammed straight into the machines. One by one, each bit of machinery was destroyed.

"YOU'RE BADASS, LEVI!" I cheered. He seemed incredibly pleased.

"You _bitch!_" Riso appeared right in front of me and grabbed a fistful of my hair. "You'll pay for ruining Scippy's plans!"

I narrowed my eyes at the hateful skank, but I knew I would most likely die if we actually fought head-on, considering she was an assassin and I was a maid. Where the hell was Squalo?

I forced my head to turn around and find him. He was fighting off against Respiro, who had these strange miniature swords in each hand. Both appeared to not be backing down. Respiro was strong, no wonder he was the right-hand-man. His coldly aloof face betrayed no hint of emotion as he narrowly dodged a sneaky attack by Squalo.

"Nobody's going to save you, bitch," Riso cackled, noticing what I was looking at. "I'm going to kill you right here, right now!"

She gripped my hair harder and raised her free hand, which to my horror held a wicked-looking knife, but for some reason she screamed and pulled it back almost immediately, letting go of my hair in the process. What the hell?

She raised her arm, and I nearly freaked out in shock. A very, _very_ familiar knife was lodged into her arm, blood spurting out from the wound and trickling down her elbow and onto the floor.

"Ushishishishi … hurting my principessa? I don't think so …"

"Bel!" I yelled joyfully, looking back at him. He had his usual Cheshire-cat-grin on, and seemed perfectly fine despite the previous bloody torture. In fact, he looked excited, most likely because he saw his own blood. Creepy-ass prince.

Knives appeared in each hand. "Ushishishi, princess, if you don't want to see the carnage, you better leave quick."

He didn't have to tell ME twice. I was scrambling away faster than he could finish his sentence.

Wait! Xanxus!

No, wait! Dammit, why did my brain immediately think of him? Dammit!

I stared around wildly at the chaos erupting in the room. Lussuria was fighting off against Scimmia, neither of them playing anymore. Bel was torturing - I mean, fighting - Riso, Squalo was facing off against Respiro, Levi was preoccupied with Pietra, and Aragosta … was knocked out on the floor. Looks like Squalo had finished him off early.

Now, where were the two bosses? There was thick smoke surrounding the air again, and that only meant one thing. I stared up at the ceiling. There was … Sciolto! Fighting off against Xanxus! The ugly, smoky-grey wings (there was NO fucking way that bastard was my guardian angel now) were back, and Xanxus had his X-Guns out. Both were facing off up near the domed ceiling, looking for a kill.

Suddenly, the walls around me distorted once more, and I noticed the Rings appeared once more on the ground. Shit!

"Mammon, what happened?!"

"Muu, it was that damn Maledire!" Mammon's squeaky voice snapped somewhere above me, although I couldn't see him. Was it the smoke, or the illusions?

"Ha! I shall curse you too, baby!" Maledire's slick voice cackled ominously somewhere to my left, although all I could see was her standing motionless by my right.

God, I freaking HATE illusions. They mindfucked me too much.

The space warped once more, and the Rings faded away. Then the floor distorted, appeared to break away, and then rebuilt itself with the Rings in different positions. Warped again, and they disappeared. It was an all-out illusion fest between the two. The question is, which one would out-illusion the other?

I was starting to get sick of all these illusions, and I was kind of annoyed, too. What the heck could I do to help?

I stared at the still-buzzing Sfera in my hand. I could definitely use this for something … but what?

Hey! Maybe I could use it to break the Rings! Technically, it should be used to give them more power … but if it could destroy machinery, couldn't it break teeny-tiny rings as well?

Maybe it'll listen to me, since I was related to what's-his-face.

I brought the Sfera closer to my mouth and whispered, "Uh … hey, Sfera … um, can you hear me?"

Why the hell did I even say that? Obviously it couldn't. It was a friggin' marble, for god's sakes.

"Um, I … I want to use you to cause extreme damage and destruction. Since I'm related to Sawada Tsunayoshi and that first boss Primo-guy, um, can you obey me and stuff?"

I didn't get an answer. Figures. I'm talking to a tiny ball.

Well, it was worth a try, I suppose.

A sudden explosion somewhere near my head made me shriek and duck for cover. I didn't have time to talk to myself now! The Caldo Guardians may have been weakened without their Caldo Rings, but the Varia were pretty weak from all their injuries too. Plus, with all the smoke filling the room thanks to Sciolto's shitty wings, everything was more confusing and chaotic than before.

It was all up to me and whatever stupid decision I made now.

* * *

><p>Xanxus gritted his teeth. He was in a lot of pain, and flying around with his X-Guns hurt a lot more when his ribcage was broken. But he could handle it. He was fucking XANXUS, for god's sakes.<p>

And right now, his anger was beating out his pain.

"You seem very tense, Xanxus," Sciolto called out almost lazily as he dodged Xanxus' attack.

"Shut UP," Xanxus snarled. "I am going to fucking KILL you so you'll never open that damn mouth of yours again, you SCUM!"

"Oh, dear, and all I wanted was the Sfera. If only dear _signorina_ Natsuki just left it alone."

"DON'T YOU SAY HER NAME AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!" Xanxus lost the little self-control he had left. His scars flared up and stretched across his body, and his red eyes flashed murder.

"Touchy, aren't we, Xanxus?" Sciolto chuckled. His smile immediately slipped off his face when Xanxus' next attack went dangerously close to his face.

Screw pain. Xanxus was going to KILL this guy.

Then he noticed a figure below him through the smoke, hastily bending over on the ground and making long, sweeping motions with her arms against the floor.

What the hell was Natsuki doing?

* * *

><p>Dammit! Where were those goddamn rings?<p>

"MAMMON! LIFT THE ILLUSION FOR A SEC!"

"Are you _insane?_" Mammon snapped back, his voice floating around above my head while the body that I could see was across the room. "I'm having my hands full already without you yapping at me!"

"Dammit, Mammon! C'mon! I have a plan, and it's gonna be epic, so please please PLEASE listen to me and just lift the illusion! Focus on beating the shit out of Maledire or something!"

Mammon muttered in irritation. "Muu, you do realize if I lift the illusions and focus on Maledire, the others will see the Rings too, and we'll all be in trouble if they get their hands on them again."

"The smoke will hide most of it. Just trust me, Mammon."

I had a feeling that the little Arcobaleno was looking at me, although I couldn't see him. "Muu, fine. I'm giving you two minutes to get those rings. This favour won't come cheap, by the way."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just do it!"

The walls and floor around me once again began to ripple and distort. Suddenly, everything seemed to jump around and switch places. I tried to stop the sudden wave of nausea that threatened to overcome me, as I spotted the rings glittering on the floor.

"Why did you stop, Mammon? Or should I say, Viper?" Maledire giggled evilly. "Too tired?"

"Not really," came Mammon's aloof answer. "Muu, brace yourself."

Maledire shrieked when Mammon's tentacle-badassery appeared in full force from his face and attacked her. Hell, I'd be scared as shit if that happened to me too.

The second my eyes found a ring, I scrambled over to it and swept it up into my hands. Man, they were EVERYWHERE. The smoke made it hard to figure everything out.

I had to duck underneath Squalo's sword, weave through Bel's knives, dodge Lussuria's kicks, and jump away before Levi's umbrellas could electrocute me.

I collected about four of the rings before Riso thought it would be funny to trip me as I ran by her. That SKANK.

I sprawled onto the ground and glared at her. "Bitch! I'll kill you!"

"I'd like to see you try, whore!" She gloated, before suddenly ducking as several dozen knives came her way.

"Ushishishi, keep doing whatever you're doing, principessa," Bel said smoothly, more knives appearing in his hand out of nowhere. "I'll kill this peasant for calling you a whore."

"Sure. Thanks, Bel." I scooped up another ring and shoved it into my pocket, before running off to find the others. I was SO CLOSE.

Suddenly, an explosion blasted into the floor nearby, and I yelled out as I was thrown off my feet. I looked up at Sciolto, who was floating above my head with those ugly-ass wings.

"What are you planning with our rings, hmm?" He said calmly.

"Fuck you!" I spat out, glaring at him. "Go crawl into a hole and die, assface!"

"Once again, your vocabulary shocks me," Sciolto sighed, and I felt that intense, suffocating aura once more, making me freeze in place. "All the same, whatever you're planning … I'll erase it."

Another explosion shook the ground. Xanxus had appeared in all his flaming-badass glory, scars all over his face.

"Get the _fuck_ away from her," he snarled quietly and dangerously.

Sciolto was frowning darkly. The tips of his wings were singed by the X-Gunshot. "Or what?"

Xanxus' response was to shoot him again, making him take off into the air once more.

"Woman, get the fuck out of here," he snapped at me.

"No freakin' way! I'm on a mission, man!"

He gritted his teeth. "Just go!"

And then he shot the floor with his X-Guns, propelling himself up towards the ceiling to fight against Sciolto once more.

Scowling at him (how can he be so cool when he's all bloody and acting like a dick as usual?), I found the last of the rings after digging through piles of broken machinery. Sure, I got bloody fingers and chipped nails, but I finally got them all!

Ducking through battle once more, I found a remote corner half-hidden because of the smoke, and pulled out all the rings, placing them in a small pile on the floor in front of me. This better work.

"SOMEBODY COVER ME!" I yelled to no one in particular.

"VOOOOOIII, WE'RE KINDA BUSY HERE, WOMAN!" Squalo roared, ducking under Respiro's swords and swinging his arm up.

Idiots. I took out the Sfera once more. I could barely feel my arm now; it was so numb. "Please work, Sfera-thing," I mumbled desperately to it, before smashing my hand down against the rings.

* * *

><p>A sudden flash of light temporarily blinded me, and I was thrown backwards against the wall, hitting my already-aching head. When the spots in my eyes cleared away, I realized what was happening. The Sfera was glowing impossibly bright.<p>

As the light covered the rings, I could actually SEE them breaking down and disappearing _inside_ the Sfera. That little marble was absorbing its power!

"NOOOO!" Sciolto yelled in panic, as all the fighting stopped and they stared at what was happening. "NO! HOW CAN THIS BE?!"

"The Rings!" Pietra yelled in horror. "The Caldo Rings!"

"How is this possible?"

The light diminished, and the Sfera rolled contentedly along the ground, the rings nowhere to be seen.

"You did it, Suki-chan!" Lussuria cheered.

"Oh no you won't!" Someone shouted, and the fighting began once more. This time, even more chaotic, as the Caldo Guardians became desperate and furious. They were only half as strong once the Rings were destroyed.

I really just wanted to yell victory at the sky. Hell yeah, bitches! I was the one who saved the day THIS time -

A sudden movement shocked me. Within a second, Sciolto had appeared in front of me in all his dangerous glory, his face contorted with anger and bloodlust. He pressed his hand against my throat before I could stop him.

"You ruined all my plans!" He hissed. "You ruined _everything_! My one last revenge to the Vongola - killing you!"

"You - bastard," I choked out, clawing at his hand weakly.

Why the hell wasn't anyone helping me? Oh, yeah, because they were busy with their own enemies. But seriously, wasn't I more important?

Finally, just before I seriously lost air and actually died, Sciolto's hand was ripped away from my neck as he howled in pain.

I choked and coughed and rubbed the sore spot, looking up for my hero. Which, of course, was the-guy-I-might-have-feelings-for-but-really-doesn't-want-to-admit-it-any-more-than-I-already-have, Xanxus himself.

"It's over, bastard," Xanxus said, a cold and cruel smirk on his face. What did he do?

I turned to face Sciolto and gasped. His entire left arm was bloodied and mangled, the spot where he got shot visible right on the shoulder bone, and his left wing was burnt badly, falling limply down his shoulder. It didn't look like he could fly anymore.

Sciolto clutched his arm in pain and looked up at Xanxus in fury. "The Vongola Family has made too many enemies!" He spat in a low snarl. "Killing us won't change that fact!"

"No, it won't." Xanxus calmly held up his gun and pressed it against Sciolto's forehead. "But it's a start."

I closed my eyes and fainted just as the sound of a gunshot echoed throughout the room.

* * *

><p>"… suki!"<p>

"Natsuki!"

"_Natsuki!_"

I slowly opened my eyes and groaned. Where was I? And why did I pass out like that?

"What's happening?"

I felt grass underneath me and realized I was outside. The Varia were surrounding me, looking as bruised and bloody as ever but utterly triumphant.

"Thought you might want to see the show," Squalo smirked, gesturing to the scene before us.

The Caldo Family's headquarters were on fire. The entire building was ablaze, the oranges and yellows and reds bursting out with even more vivid colour now that the sky was a dark, inky black. We sat down on the grassy hill and watched as the building began to break down and fall, all while firefighters from Luglio tried to stop the flames in vain.

It was kind of funny.

"Did we win?"

"Of course we did, Suki-chan!" Lussuria squealed. "After you fainted, we set the place on fire and walked away. I think a few guardians managed to escape, though. We saw some figures running into the woods after the fire started, but we couldn't tell who they were."

"Oh, god, please don't tell me that skank Riso was one of them."

Bel snickered. "Ushishishi, I highly doubt she managed to survive what I put her through. It was quite gruesome, principessa."

"Yeah, probably. Why did I even pass out, anyway? Am I really that weak?" I felt kind of embarrassed about that. I mean, they were beaten up way more than I was, but then again, they were badass assassins and I was a frail, gorgeous (and egocentric, in case you couldn't tell by now) girl.

"Muu, it might have been your over-exposure to illusions that made you faint," Mammon observed calmly. "It happens sometimes. Does your head hurt?"

"Um, no?" I felt fine, actually. Weird.

"Good. I placed an illusion on you. You're going to feel it tomorrow, though, just saying."

"Geez, thanks, Mammon. You're awesome. Don't you guys have to go to a hospital or something?"

"Don't be stupid, trash, the Vongola paramedics will come pick us up," Xanxus muttered, looking intensely satisfied with himself. He was sitting on the ground, the perfect image of laziness as usual, next to me. He looked kind of handsome, but I quickly destroyed that thought process in my mind.

"Oh, that's good." I sighed in relief. I felt so tired, all I wanted to do was curl up like a cat and have a nice, long nap.

The building was completely demolished, and we listened in comforting silence to the ambulances wailing down the street and people panicking that their beloved 'heroes' had fallen from the tragic accident.

"I never want to go on another one of your shitty-ass missions again."

Even Squalo and Xanxus couldn't help but snicker at that one.

* * *

><p><strong>And the Caldo Arc has finally been finished! How was it, everybody?<strong>

**Anyway, don't worry, Natsuki and the gang aren't going anywhere! LOL I've been rereading this story, and although some parts are definitely funny, the more I read, the more I think the Varia are too OOC…ugh, F my life.**

**Well, I'll just continue as it is. I've developed this too far to change anything now.**

**That cool thing Xanxus said before he shot Pesce Sciolto? I don't own that. I stole that line from one of my favourite movies of all time, Resident Evil 2. God, Milla Jovovich kicks ASS! I love that girl!**

**By the way, I have a forum called English Class! Get Your KHR Stories Reviewed! So if you want me and my friend to give you an honest critique about any KHR fic you want, just send us a link and a brief summary! ^^**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Sick and Trying to Make the Most Out of It

* * *

><p><em>Cough, cough<em>.

Shit.

_Cough, cough._

No. No no no. Oh, dear god, NO.

Another great, hacking cough tore through my throat.

I was back in my warm, fluffy bed in my comfortable room in the Varia HQ. The Caldo Family disaster was over and done with, most of them were hopefully dead, my favourite assassins in the whole world (don't tell them that) are safe, and we were finally allowed home after being stuck in the Vongola specialized hospital for three days.

The first thing I did when we arrived home, tired and grumpy, at eleven p.m., was pull on my warmest fleece pyjamas, shove on the fluffiest socks I could find, and crawled into bed to essentially die for a few hours.

Then I woke up and found I really was dying.

I hate my life.

"Natsuki-chan, are you up yet?" Lussuria sang, opening the door to my bedroom and sauntering in like he owned the place. Granted, the Varia did, but still, a girl needs her privacy.

I coughed some more in response. Dammit. I opened my mouth to tell him to fudge off, but I coughed instead.

Why did this have to happen to me NOW? Of course, only while I was lying in the hospital bed did I remember I still had college, and I needed to pass my online courses to get a diploma, and that I probably missed a LOT while I was away on their mission. Why schoolwork never crossed my mind when faced with assassinations are beyond me.

I was planning on catching up on all my studies today. AND to cook a roast for the Varia for dinner. Now I didn't even want to get out of bed. Was it always this cold in here, or is it just me?

"Suki-chan? Are you feeling okay?"

I groaned.

Lussuria walked forwards and felt my forehead. "Oh~my!" He clapped his hands to his cheek. "You are having a terribly high fever! Goodness, Suki-chan, you must have caught something during the mission!"

"Yeah, maybe." I coughed some more and sat up, feeling a dull ache in my head as a response. "But that doesn't matter, Luss, I have a lot to do today."

"Oh, no you can't! Darling, you need to go right back to sleep and have some rest!"

"_No_, Luss-nee-chan. I seriously need to study for school, and I need to prepare the roast if it's going to be ready by dinner."

"Suki-chan …" here, his glasses flashed and a dark look passed over his face, and the flamboyant but lovable man looked incredibly dangerous and menacing. "You are going to lie back down and sleep, okay?"

I slowly got back under the covers. "You didn't have to … be scary … Lussuria … totally uncalled for …"

I sighed and let the man win. For now. But I, Sawada Natsuki, does NOT back away from anything!

And, seriously. I really needed to catch up on schoolwork.

* * *

><p>"What's going on?" Squalo demanded the second Lussuria walked into the kitchen. "Where's Natsuki?"<p>

"Suki-chan is _fine_, Squ, she just appears to have caught a little cold."

"You mean she's SICK?" Squalo yelped, looking shocked. Lussuria wondered if the thought ever occurred to Squalo that not everybody is a healthy as the silver-haired swordsman. Well, he needs to be, anyway. Who else will do the paperwork if he falls ill?

But that's besides the point.

"Well, Squ, generally that is what you call someone who has caught a little cold."

"Fuck off, Lussuria! Well, what do we do?"

Lussuria sighed and poured himself some coffee. "The fever is really high, so I instructed the poor dear to sleep on it. It doesn't look like it'll go away that easily, though. You might have to make her some of that wonderful soup of yours, Squalo."

Squalo's cheeks turned red. "I don't make SOUP!" He yelled after the martial arts assassin as he walked away. But, as usual, Squalo's furious and completely untrue denial was ignored.

* * *

><p>So, I didn't follow Lussuria's orders.<p>

I couldn't just laze about after we just got back, right? I had to do SOMETHING.

Even a few days away from the mansion had reduced the creepy castle to dust. Despite my forehead being hot enough to fry an egg and my vision blurring every time I took a step, I forced myself to get some cleaning done in the castle.

It should be fine. I mean, I've gone through worse, right? I managed to hold on for two and a half weeks of near-starvation and exhaustion back in the day, and that wasn't even when the Varia _liked_ me!

I was just halfway done scrubbing the floor of the living room when someone kicked away my brush. "Hey! Asswipe! I'm busy here!" I protested.

"Ushishishi, what is the _principessa_ doing out of bed?"

I looked up and gulped. Bel was standing in front of me, creepy grin on his face as usual, but I could tell (after knowing him for so long) that he was not very happy.

"Uh, who told you anything like that? I'm supposed to be out of bed."

"You're a terrible liar, princess."

"Shit." I took pride in my lying. In fact, I always thought I was a great liar. Hell, I used to think I could make a living by lying! This is depressing.

Or the fever is making me hallucinate.

"Either way, Bel, can you let me do my job? I'm still the Varia's maid, and I have a lot of cleaning to do, and I need to study for –"

"The cleaning and studying can wait." Bel's hand shot up and pulled me to my feet. Damn, the kid was strong for someone so freaking scrawny. Where did all that strength come from? "Let's go."

"Be~e~e~l!" I whined as he half-pulled, half-dragged me back to my room like I was some sort of naughty little child. Hey! I'M the older one here! What's going on?

"Ushishishi," he chuckled before shoving me back into the bed. I sulkily pulled up the covers and glared at him as he left the room. "Lussuria told us you were sick. Don't even THINK of leaving again until that fever goes down, _Varia di Principessa_."

There it was again. Varia's Princess. The first time someone called me that, it was Pesce Sciolto.

There he was, suddenly in front of me, standing before my bed. His handsome, relaxed face turned cold and evil, just like it did before he hit me, and once again I felt that overwhelming aura, choking me, pressing on my throat, holding a blade towards my heart.

Then there were the Varia – my closest and most precious friends, getting tortured by those electrical chains again. They were yelling and screaming in pain and calling for me, begging for me to help them … but I couldn't.

I don't have the Sfera, I tried to tell them. I couldn't help them, I couldn't do anything.

Squalo glared at me with betrayal in his eyes, electricity twisting his bones out of his sockets. Levi looked disappointed before bursting into flames and slumping, unmoving, to the ground. Bel, blood leaking out of the corners of his mouth, his ears, and from underneath his bangs where his eyes should be, frowned sadly at me.

"_**Aren't you our Varia di Principessa?"**_

I'm sorry, I tried to say, but nothing was coming out. I can't. I can't even move.

And there was Xanxus, half of his skin rotting away so I could see the gleaming bones of the skeleton underneath, glaring at me with one blood-red eye. _**"Then you're useless. You're wasting our time. We got hurt because of you."**_

Then I remember crying and crying, until I was falling into a pool of my own tears, and I was drowning and calling for Tsuna, but he wasn't there, and someone's hand closed around my throat –

I woke up, breathing heavily, sweating. It was just a bad dream. A nightmare caused by the fever.

I just stayed on the bed for a while, not doing anything. When it became clear I couldn't fall asleep again – the sunlight piercing through the blinds into my room weren't helping – I got up and tried sneaking out to clean again.

Hey, I was sick. Might as well make life difficult for everyone else.

* * *

><p>My second – or was it third – attempt at doing my job did not go over well. Levi caught me and said, gently but firmly, that it was under Boss' orders that I do not leave my room and sleep. I managed to look sorry and promise to go straight to bed, and he seemed satisfied.<p>

Poor, misguided Levi A Than. Bel was totally lying when he said I couldn't lie. Or maybe Levi was stupid. Bel's a genius, after all.

So I quickly snuck to the kitchen and began cooking. This time around, Squalo caught me, and long and rather unpleasant story short, he threatened to disembowel me with his sword if he caught me outside again.

Then I tried running away, which was probably an even worse idea than my original one (which kinda involved stabbing Squalo with a spatula and blaming it on Bel – just for something to do, y'know?), and Squalo slung me over his shoulder like a sack of (very attractive and cute) potatoes and sent me, squawking and kicking, back to bed.

So I tried again. Because Sawada Natsuki does not give up. Ever.

Unless, of course, I end up facing the leader of a pack of crazy psychos next.

"Oh … uh, ahem … hey, Xanxus."

Xanxus was not amused.

"_Why_ can't you just be a normal, obedient young girl for once and do as you're told?" Xanxus growled, red eyes flashing. I flinched and tried to come across as nonchalant.

"Um, because I live to piss you off?"

"Yes, you do." Then he grabbed my wrist and dragged me back to bed.

I tried to fight off the weird blush creeping up into my cheeks (WHY is it that I react so much to him? God, why are you doing this to me? Damn you all) and tried to twist away. "But it's so boring there! And I have so much stuff to do!"

"Not anymore." He opened the door to my bedroom and practically threw me inside. I stumbled forwards and nearly smashed into the corners of my desk. "Boss' orders."

Then he slammed the door shut and I heard a distinct clicking noise.

"YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DID _NOT_ JUST LOCK THE DOOR!"

And he didn't answer. Prick.

You know, you'd think after everything I'm going through, I would fall in love with a super-nice, kind, thoughtful hunk, like that Dino guy from the Cavallone Family. But no. I had to fall in love with a total ass.

Not … not that I'm in love with him. Or anything.

I wonder how long I'm going to continue denying it.

* * *

><p>I tried sleeping. I really, honest-to-God did try. I went into bed, tossed around in the sheets, drank a bucketload of water for my flaming throat. Then I coughed some more until I thought my eyes were going to pop out, and tried to ignore the extreme pounding headache in my burning head.<p>

But then I remembered I still had to study.

I dragged myself out of bed and turned on my laptop. After conversing with one of my online course buddies, Alina, she frantically demanded to know where I disappeared to and told me everything I missed.

Which was a lot.

I had about one hundred and twenty-two pages to read followed by an Italian history essay, and I had to study for a test that was happening … all in two days.

I was fucking screwed.

Squalo came in a little while later, most likely to check if I was actually resting and not trying to escape out the window or whatever.

"What the f – VOOOOIII! DAMN YOU, WOMAN! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STAY IN BED AND SLEEP LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO?!"

"NOOOOO!" I shrieked when he ripped the book from my hands. "NO, DAMMIT! SQUALO! I NEED THAT! I NEED IT, I CAN'T REST, I HAVE TO STUDY – NO, DON'T RIP IT!"

I managed to throw myself onto his shoulders before he could tear it apart. What resulted was a very long and very entertaining fight that made Bel saunter over to watch.

When I finally managed to wrestle the book out of his reach, that was because I was sitting on his chest with a foot to his throat. He pushed me off of him and grumbled a bit. "Dammit, you … go to sleep, woman!"

He and Bel forced me into the bed and locked the door again, Bel grinning like a maniac and promising to make Squalo bring me soup. I heard the sound of something being thrown against the wall and Squalo screaming again.

They may have got me in bed this time. But they forgot one precious thing.

They didn't take my books.

* * *

><p>So I made a system. The second I heard footsteps outside, I would dash to my bed and pretend to be in a deep sleep. That seemed to work for most people. Well, then again, Squalo, Levi, and Lussuria only bothered to come in and make sure I was on the bed at all. Bel and Mammon were harder to fool, but they also cared the least, so it sort of balanced out.<p>

By three in the afternoon, I was growing frantic. I had only two days to write an essay and read a freaking novel, and if I failed that exam, my mark would go below passing average for sure. I may be fluent in speaking Italian and reading simple stuff, but the way the textbooks are written is impossible for me to comprehend. My brain just immediately switches to Japanese.

I was about three seconds away from a full-blown panic attack when I didn't listen for the door and it slammed open. Xanxus was there, and he was pissed.

"I thought they told you to go to fucking sleep already!"

"No! Go away!" I muttered, not even looking up from the textbook I was frantically flipping through.

"For fuck's sakes …" Xanxus growled, before trying to pull the book away. "Just go to sleep, dammit! I'll fucking blow up all this trash with the X-Guns if you don't, woman!"

"GO AWAY!"

Xanxus stopped. I furiously wiped at my eyes. Darn it, why were my eyes tearing up like this? It must be the fever.

"Woman. What's the big deal anyway? What's the point in doing this?"

"YOU probably don't understand, dickass, but I need to find a way to make a living!" I said, a hysterical tone reaching into my voice now. "I can't just stay here forever, I need to find a way to support myself! I refuse to live my life with only a high school diploma! I want to at LEAST get a college degree, I don't want to spend the rest of my life dependent on other people! So leave me alone, I have a LOT to study!"

There was a long silence after my outburst. I tearfully grabbed the textbook and started flipping through it again, trying to jam in a hundred and twenty-two pages worth of Italian law and politics into my head.

I thought he left. Then I heard a low oath and the book was yanked out of my hands.

"Hey!" I protested, fighting the urge to cough. "Asshole! I NEED that!"

He ignored me and chucked the book out of the room and into the hall. Then he leaned in close and glared at me.

Dammit, why was it happening again? The stupid thing where my face turns red and my heart starts pounding and SHIT it's happened before so I can't even blame it on my fever.

WHAT'S THE POINT IN BEING SICK IF I CAN'T BLAME IT FOR ANYTHING?

"Listen, woman, 'cuz I'm only repeating this once," he snarled, not breaking eye contact with me. "What does it fucking matter? If you haven't noticed, you are related to the greatest mafia family in the world, and nobody in the mafia business gives a shit over whether you have a college degree or not. Study that trash if you want, but fact is, I have no use for a servant who can't even go to sleep when her boss orders her to."

Ouch. That was deep. Maybe Xanxus is smarter than I thought.

Holy shit. Xanxus is smart. The world is going to end.

No, I think I'm just hallucinating again.

"B-but either way, I still need to –" I started to stammer.

Xanxus looked like he wanted to facepalm. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or if it was because of him. "For fuck's sakes … what's the big deal if you do or not?"

"W-well, I need to support myself …" I started to say.

"_We_ will take care of you, so who cares about that shit?" He growled, now with a trace of embarrassment in his voice.

I felt my mind go blank, but I think my cheeks were still burning.

He scowled at me again for good measure before stomping out of the room. I was still sitting there, down for the count. Did he REALLY just say what I thought he said?

That they were going to take care of me?

I thought about spending the rest of my life with the Varia. I don't know if it made me happy or sad. Maybe a bit of both.

Or maybe it was just the fever.

Squalo came in a little while later after I actually got some rest and slammed down a tray of chicken noodle soup.

The fever went to my head and I actually burst into tears that he was kind enough to make it for me after all the shit he goes through afterwards. Let's just say Squalo was thoroughly freaked out and refused to go anywhere near my bedroom until my fever went down.

* * *

><p><strong>Otaku-chama: Hey, guys. Finally decided to return to FFN. And listen, I feel really bad for this, but I'm deleting my Squalo story. Which sucks, because I loved that story. But I just don't have a mojo for it anymore. I'm going to wait and write some more and save it in my file, then upload it again when I have some sort of solid plan for it.<strong>

**Also because I'm thinking of writing fanfiction for other fandoms too, namely Hetalia and Harry Potter, so I'm gonna be busy for a while ^^**


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